Michele Bachmann Could Use a Good Sex Clinic

Why is Michele Bachmann obsessed with sex clinics? The Republican representative from Minnesota is so infatuated with the subject of sex clinics, she can't stop talking about them. And if that's not weird enough, Bachmann actually has taken a lot of time to make up elaborate untruths about the proposed health care bill to support her sex clinic fetish. It's surprising, because usually someone has to down at least three Cosmopolitans at a hotel bar before reaching this level of lie about sex.

Ms. Bachmann recently has brought her sex clinic obsession to Capitol Hill. For the second time in two weeks, Bachmann spoke on the House floor insisting that the Democratic health care legislation would set up school-based clinics encouraging promiscuous sexual behavior. She should know that America doesn't need to create school-based clinics to promote student sex. Horny teachers are doing that job just fine. Bachmann then read a letter from a 14-year-old female who found herself taking morning-after pills, abusing birth control, lying to her parents and skipping class to go to a clinic -- or as many women call that, high school.

Curious about Ms. Bachmann's fixation, I quickly scanned over the transcript from her September 30th speech on the House floor and discovered that Bachmann mentioned "sex clinics" 10 times, "sexually transmitted diseases" 3 times and "sexual activity" one time. I admit I got a little moist. With language like this, no wonder all those old republican politicians are dropping their pants and choosing beauty contestants as their running mates.

If this highly uptight, sex clinic rhetoric continues, may I suggest that Michele Bachmann do us all a favor, put down her book of extremist, paranoid propaganda and pick up a vibrator. Then all of us will be satisfied.

Comments

[OSUgrad1]

Great humor, great points...a clinic, one might call it....

[cdaniels]

Beth, love the end of this piece. It must be that Bachmann thinks the more she mentions sex, the more men will like her?

[boyoboy]

Personally, I would welcome on-site clinics. I have sons, and while we definitely discuss abstinence and the risks and cons of having casual sex, we have always discussed the importance of using condoms. We would stress that contraception is also the guys' responsibility, and how other methods can fail, STDs, etc.

My kids are very responsible about sex and contraception, and I really feel much of it is because we were so open.

[BamBam2012]

I suppose I should've had at least one cuppa joe in me prior to reading your column, Beth--I'm not saying it wasn't good, or interesting, or right on the money--it was all of those. It's just that I now have a mental image of Michelle taking your advice...ICK!

[MinnBlue]

Michele Bachmann is a disgrace to the USA, MN, and the 6th. If you're interested in getting rid of Bachmann, support democratic candidate Dr. Maureen Reed! You can learn more about Maureen, and donate, at:
http://maureenreedforcongress.com/
and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maureen_Reed

[hypnotoad72]

Well, she's propagating her 15 minutes of fame, I'll grant her that much...

[TioNed]

I would like Ms. Bachmann to explain why: if this 14 year old girl was "abusing birth control", what would she need morning-after pills for? Sounds like perhaps Congresswoman Bachmann needs sex education more than her constituents do.

[hypnotoad72]

Are they the regular pills, or do the companies now make "chewable, fruit-flavored" pills because most children find the taste and texture preferable...

[Hazumu]

I've often felt that when conservatives accuse progressives of doing something, or of even contemplating doing something (silencing free speech, using re-education camps, etc.,) they're really projecting their own desires.

Someone once suggested there should be women-oriented bordellos. Rep Bachmann I suspect could benefit from such an establishment, as well as a few other female conservative elected representatives.

'Twould put a whole new and perhaps welcome spin on the conservative rallying cry, 'shove it down our throats.'

[LMPE]

The entire GOP needs sex clinics. If nothing else, it would stop the sexually repressed holy rollers from getting in sex scandals.

[wbtravis]

Nice!!! Every time Michele Bachmann opens her mouth, something crazy pops out.

[silverball]

you know beth....you might have hit on her key problem....she's just sexually frustrated....i think some good vibes might do her a world of good....

[Gorsegrower]

Don't look at me, I've served my time.

[Jennifer Francis]

Maybe she just need new batteries.