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Beth Burkstrand-Reid

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The War on Sex for Pleasure

Posted: 05/16/2012 1:58 pm

Sure, the recent barrage of legal attacks on women's reproductive rights signifies a war on women. Women's ability to control their reproductive lives -- and therefore their lives more generally -- has never been subjected to more legal interference than it has in the first months of this year.

But what we are missing is that the latest attacks on reproductive rights are not just missiles launched in the war on women. This is also a war on consenting adults' right to have sex for nothing but sheer pleasure.

Nine out of 10 people have sex before marriage, according to the Guttmacher Institute. A fair number of those people pay a price in the form of unintended pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection. Why? For starters, there is an utter lack of comprehensive sex education in schools; birth control is not uniformly available or affordable; and low-cost reproductive health services are limited. And, right now, many of our elected officials are trying to keep it that way.

This hostility toward reproductive health is certainly bad public policy, but it is also hypocritical. Many Americans have sex with multiple partners over a lifetime. Many view explicit sex acts via pornography. Some even buy sex. Agree with it or not, Americans have sex and like sex as is even tacitly recognized in many U.S. Supreme Court decisions on the matter.

Americans do not know how to talk about sex for pleasure -- and thus the need for family planning services -- without feeling, well, dirty. It is this shame, a shame expressed by people of all political stripes, not just conservatives, that contributes to our unwillingness to adequately fund family planning services, to prevent teen pregnancy by actually talking (and listening) to our young people and, frankly, to the vitriol of the abortion debate.

It is politically palatable to cast birth control coverage and abortion availability as issues of sex equity -- and certainly they are -- but equity is not the only issue at play here. Reproductive health services are important because the act of sex is important. But it is very unlikely that we will soon see elected officials admit en masse that they like having sex with their spouses and (by God!) birth control should therefore be accessible for that very reason.

Sex. There is the word. Yes, it refers to biological status of being a woman. Yes, there is a war on a sex -- on women. The hostility toward women as expressed in the law cannot be overstated at this time. But sex also refers to an activity that so many people enjoy. Sex presents risks, risks that people assume at least in part because it is so darn pleasurable. Women bear the brunt of the consequence of having sex certainly, but sex is not only a women's issue. Let's admit that Americans like sex and are having sex. And then let's move on to a conversation about how we can do it responsibility.

 

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Sure, the recent barrage of legal attacks on women's reproductive rights signifies a war on women. Women's ability to control their reproductive lives -- and therefore their lives more generally -- ha...
Sure, the recent barrage of legal attacks on women's reproductive rights signifies a war on women. Women's ability to control their reproductive lives -- and therefore their lives more generally -- ha...
 
 
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This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
06:19 PM on 05/17/2012
What's most interesting to me is the fact that our culture and (in general) religions are more biased against women having sex for pleasure than when men seek the same thing. I have YET to see any of these narrow-minded people say anything like "Leave it in your pants" to the men, but joke on TV about "just put an aspirin between your legs!". Some of them get caught with prostitutes, having affairs, etc...but try to pass it off as fast as they can...
The whole issue of sex is so tangled between religious instructions, conflicting state laws, and the over-mediaed, sex-saturated American culture...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Killermolls44
The night is dark and full of terrors.
11:16 PM on 05/17/2012
Yeah it sounds like they're sexist! Imagine that!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Clay Farris Naff
Blogger, science journalist, & author
07:46 AM on 05/17/2012
Three cheers to fellow Lincolnite Beth Berkstrand-Reid for this important call. As a science-and-religion writer, let me chip in a few supporting observations.
If you accept, as I do, the argument that religion evolved in the context of group adaptations, then it naturally follows that one of the primary functions of religion has always been to regulate sex within groups. The evolutionary logic is this: each person has an interest in minimizing the sexual adventurousness of other group members, and the group as a whole benefits in competition with other groups if its members are not fighting over sex. Unfairness is built into the system: women's reproductive capacity is a much scarcer resource than men's, so it is bound by tougher rules.
But we are not bound to follow the instincts our forebears evolved during the Pleistocene -- and a good thing, too! The trouble is that major religions long ago codified these underlying instincts into sex-rules that get labeled "God's Law," and contemporary theocrats interpret them in the most repressive ways (all the while giving themselves a wide range of freedom).
The bright light of science, focused on human nature, can act as a disinfectant on these corrupt and oppressive notions. But we must weather the reactionary storm. To do that, everyone of "good faith" on these matters must vote. Those who are scared silly by Old Time Religion can be counted on to show up at the polls. Will you?
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jf12
When I saw her I marveled greatly.
11:29 PM on 05/16/2012
The most responsible way is with one spouse with no potential for divorce.
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12:30 AM on 05/17/2012
Assuming the spouse is a decent human being. Otherwise the potential for divorce is a blessing.
madame48
NO..it's a gop Cookbook !Tempus edax,homo edacior
07:09 PM on 05/16/2012
this is all about what St Augustine did to Christianity. He couldn't control his sexual desire (his words) so it MUST be the fault of women...Eve and all her descendants are inferior temptress husseys who pollute men. he created the stupid idea of original sin, spread through semen and women's dirty bodies. I used to be Catholic and had to learn all that crap. the ironic thing is that Augustine was connected and influential in the Imperial Roman court, and changed the Christian understanding of free will and self government ..changed it into a command that Christians NEED a govt of force & fear AND a church using fear & coercion.
06:13 PM on 05/16/2012
...some bad news on contraception:

Today's news story from Reuters: "Women overestimate effectiveness of Pill, condoms."

Story here:
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/04/27/us-women-pill-condom-idUSBRE83Q11Q20120427

Given this bad news, here is a very relevant and thought-provoking piece on the subject of women, sexuality, contraception, and abortion written by Jennifer Fulwiler.

Here is the link:
http://www.ncregister.com/blog/jennifer-fulwiler/the-contraception-trap/#ixzz1sixRqAcS
kellygreen
"Ideology is the Science of Idiots" John Adams
04:24 PM on 05/16/2012
Disagree.

If it really were a "War on Sex for Pleasure", we would see legislators going after Viagra with the same zeal that they are going after access to abortion and hormonal contraception.

What is going on here is a War upon Women who wish to be non-traditional. Being able to control WHEN, with WHOM, and HOW MANY children the have, is the foundation of women being able to get out of the home and fully participate in society.

Take those abilities away by limiting access to ability to control their own reproduction...and you have a powerful tool with which to force women back into traditional roles. Without having to confront Feminism or gender equality directly.
11:39 PM on 05/16/2012
I don't see how you disagree. It seems like the control aspect of public policy you describe is a narrower subset of issues broadly addressed in the opinion piece.
kellygreen
"Ideology is the Science of Idiots" John Adams
06:55 AM on 05/17/2012
Not "narrower"...it is the CORE issue around which all these other things coalesce.
03:59 PM on 05/16/2012
Is contraception not accessible? Really, are there people out there who can't figure out how to get it?
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ronin8404
The FF were right, except when they were wrong.
03:04 PM on 05/16/2012
Sex is a biological imperative. Sex is also pleasurable. And the answer to the question; is sex dirty? remains (as stated by Woody Allen), yes, if you're doing it right.
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RickCadena
Non-Barrio Mex-American from LA Cal in Mexico City
02:56 PM on 05/16/2012
Thank you for this article. When people understand that sex goes way beyond mere reproduction and survival of the species, then we can get someplace. The pleasure factor in sex is very important, but it is not everything. What I am trying to say is that the pleasure factor should be used to build an overall relationship. My wife and I feel that special sense of emotional closeness after we have had our moment. It serves as a sense of maintaining the relationship itself. Besides, I just love to have sex with my wife, especially if it is intense, because along with the pleasure, I know I can give her my soul and she can give me hers. That in itself enhances the pleasure aspect. BTW, I refused to get married by the catholic church (I grew up catholic) because I did not want the church sticking its cotton picking fingers in my personal life and messing things up. According to the church, we are living in a terrible state of sin, but we love each other and have 20 year old son. Neither one is running around town looking for extra-curricular sex. So why the guilt trip?

What is really necessary is comprehensive sex education with all the emotional implications involved, so that people can get to know their human sexuality and live it to the hilt in the most responsible way possible.