Why I Don't Need Your Faith-Healing

When I was 19, I escaped a faith healing by the skin of my teeth.

You might think that story is just a fluke. I wish you were right. But I have Cerebral Palsy, use a wheelchair, and was raised in the Buckle of the Bible Belt. I don't mean to brag, but I can spot a Faith Healer faster than you can say "TBN".

Many hands have been laid on me over the years; many prayers have been offered on behalf of my imperfect body; many earnest glances have been cast my way. I have been spiritually waylaid in churches, dorms, popular restaurants, and busy city streets.

To put it another way: many well-meaning, kind folks have spent a lot of their time making things very awkward for me.

Not long ago, my friends and I were leaving our favorite coffeehouse when a trio from a well-known Christian ministry school here in Nashville approached me. It wasn't two minutes into the conversation before the apparent leader of the group asked me if he could pray for my healing. I conceded that, yes, he was welcome to pray for my much-needed spiritual healing.

But that was it.

My polite decline of his offer to heal me left him stunned. It sparked a lengthy dialogue with him on healing, and why I did or did not need it. He disagreed with me on almost every point, and he told me so emphatically. I don't think I have ever made another person that uncomfortable. We parted amicably, but it was clear my perspective had upset him.

Let me be clear about something. I don't have a problem with faith. I am an Orthodox Christian, so faith is vital to my spiritual practice. We call our sacraments (like Communion) "holy mysteries." By definition, a mystery is something that cannot be completely understood. And the book of Hebrews tells us "faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see" (11:1). Without faith, there is no sacramental life. So to have faith in an unseen reality greater than myself is a vital part of my entering into and experiencing the beauty of the Church.

And I don't have a problem with healing. Jesus certainly healed countless people who were sick and suffering during His ministry. He told a man who could not move to rise up and walk (John 5:8); He gave new eyes to a man born blind man (John 9). He even called a dead man from his tomb (John 11). And I believe healing still happens today. Each time I receive Communion, the body and blood of Christ is being offered to me for "the healing of soul and body." The Orthodox Church also has the sacrament of Holy Chrism, a sacred oil with which the priest anoints the faithful, specifically for their healing. And that's not to mention the countless miraculous healings credited to the saints [through their faith, their prayers, and even their relics] over the past 2,000 years.

I believe in faith. I believe in healing. But I have no desire to be healed of, or delivered from, my physical differences.

On this matter, I do not presume to speak for anyone else with a disability other than myself. I recognize there are many people who can, should, and will be delivered from their physical sufferings through their faith and Divine Grace. And I rejoice in that.

The problem I have with Parking Lot Healer is that his talk, and the work of his ministry hinged on several assumptions, all of which I found very narrow and unsettling.

Parking Lot Healer assumed I wanted to be healed of my physical disability, simply because he saw I had one. No one has ever asked me if I wanted to be healed before offering [or attempting] to do so. But Jesus Himself asked the man at the pool, "Do you want to get well?" (John 5:6). As God, He recognized and respected the free will given to His Creation. I would appreciate the same consideration from others, before I answer them with a polite "No, thank you."

Parking Lot Healer assumed I could more fully experience faith in God [and the power of God] by attaining physical healing. To believe this is to discount the role of suffering in our salvation. The Apostle Paul pleaded with God to take away what he called a "thorn in his flesh", and God did not. Was Paul lacking in faith? Did Paul lead some weird Christian half-life? Of course not. Full of wisdom, his outcry is an example of great faith to everyone who suffers: "When I am weak, then I am strong" (See 2 Cor 12:7-10) Paul recognized that to be a Christian is to endure hardship as a means of drawing strength from God. And Christ Himself chose to suffer for the will of God, and for the salvation of the world.

Parking Lot Healer assumed a purely negative relationship between physical and spiritual "wholeness". Assuming I want to be healed implies that there is something "wrong" or "undesirable" about my body that should be fixed. And making physical healing the exclusive focus of such ministry makes the healing of mind, soul, and spirit seem like an afterthought. Even worse, it seems to equate who I am on the inside with how I appear on the outside. God forbid if we all treated each other this way!

To be healed of my disability is to change my physical state of being-which has been as it is since I was born- and this would mean completely redefining life as I know it.
To not have a disability is to forego a large part of my identity. And I would hate to lose that on someone else's whim.

We all have crosses to bear. We all have thorns in our flesh. Some you can see, some you can't. For a Christian, complete healing and deliverance from suffering could lead to self-reliance, and a diminished sense of need for the Grace of God. Struggle allows us to draw strength from God and from others, and to develop empathy and patience in a way we could not if we were without challenges.

So, consider this my Public Service Announcement. There is a healing I need. Forgiveness, grace, and peace are necessary to redeem me from the sin, guilt and doubt that mar my heart. I need hope that can only come from true fellowship with God and others. I need the healing that can be found in the embrace of a friend, a mint condition record, or the laughter of a child.

The rest of it, I can do without.

Beth Hopkins is the author of the blog site In Case of Fire, Use Stairs, where she writes on a variety of topics including disability, Orthodox Christianity, music, books, and pop culture. She has a Master's in Nonprofit Organizations, and works for a nationally recognized advocacy organization for people with disabilities. She lives with her houseplants and phonograph in Nashville, TN.

*Special thanks to my friends, Dr David J Dunn and Jonni Greth, for their guidance and support throughout the writing of this piece.

 

Follow Beth Hopkins on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bethahop

Comments

[Kyriaki Fuss]

11:29 AM on 09/13/2012

Thankyou for this Beth :) I'm also Orthodox, although I spent the first 19 years of my life among charismatics of varying degrees. My parents are charismatics themselves, but thankfully the sane sort. I was born with a genetic disease which is very obvious physically, and it has its serious negatives but I grew up happy and reasonably healthy *in spite* of all the people who tried to "heal" me or drag me to meetings or tell me that if I just had enough faith... thankfully my parents inoculated me against that last one early, having had it directed at them numerous times when I was a baby.

I'm now seriously ill with a chronic illness that's bad enough that I identify as disabled, being bedridden much of the time and with a serious impact on my life even when I'm not bedridden or housebound, and interestingly enough what finally tipped me over the edge with Orthodoxy (which I'd been investigating for years) was their/our take on suffering, which you described beautifully in your article and I quoted when posting it to facebook. For us there isn't some dramatic disconnect between physical impairment or suffering of whatever kind and God's mercy and our spiritual wellbeing. Sometimes God's mercy shows itself in our struggles! I would not be the person that I am now without my physical weaknesses, and you are very right to talk about the danger of self-reliance from not having to struggle.

(cont...)

[Toutlaguerre]

08:56 PM on 09/11/2012

I greatly admire Beth's perspective on life. I often look at people who are labelled as being disabled or differently able in some cultures and say to myself that I wish that I had half the heart and courage that they do. Now after reading this personal account her perception that the need to be healed spiritually is more important is quite refreshing. The reference to Paul's thorn in the flesh is sound. "We all have thorns in our flesh. Some you can see, some you can't. For a Christian, complete healing and deliverance from suffering could lead to self-reliance, and a diminished sense of need for the Grace of God. Struggle allows us to draw strength from God and from others, and to develop empathy and patience in a way we could not if we were without challenges." (2 Cor 12:7-10). Trials help to make us stronger and build certain qualities that would likely not prevail otherwise (Romans 5:3-5). I am also glad that she did not fall for the faith healing gimmick which despite all claims is not supported scripturally. Faith healing was a gift that ceased after it served its purpose ( 1Cor 13:8). Her positive outlook on life as well as her desire to express her faith whilst rejecting the miraculous healing by a prayer warrior ( to use a colloquial expression for faith healers) is a leap in the right direction and very impressive.

[LivingInTheBubble]

05:23 PM on 09/10/2012

These parking lot healers are arrogant. You are right about Jesus. He only "healed" those who asked to be healed. He didn't assume. I had a close friend who had a rare form of cancer and was expected to live 2 years at the max. She asked a small group to pray with her each week for her healing. We were skeptics, to a person, but because she asked and we loved her, we made the commitment to do it. She lived for 10 years. But she told us at the end that the healing she had was spiritual, not physical. She was not "cured" of cancer, but she was "healed". She was at peace and not in fear at her death. I learned a lot about healing and about spirit.

[Dave Bokman]

07:53 PM on 09/09/2012

how rude of people to just walk up to a complete stranger and claim that because they talk to themselves on your behalf they will heal you! how sick! if someone came up to me at dinner and started to ask myself or a loved one if they could "faith heal" us i would tell them to fkoff! if they persisted i would get loud and mean saying the "F" word really loud and make the manager come. i would then yell at the manager and demand a refund because of the vile cretin ruining my dinner. if it were in a parking lot i might pull a gun on them!

[massimo1]

09:25 AM on 09/08/2012

Overall, I agree with Ms. Hopkins. Except... for her point about a change of one's identity. I am not sure why one would resist that if it is part of a true conversion/personal revelation/whatever, i.e., part of the territory.

[Yeshu Abraham]

12:15 AM on 09/08/2012

Beth is a real witness. Anne Carmichael spent most of her years bedridden and was a sincere Christian and thanked God for her physical disability. She was a bedridden missionary in India and was responsible for converting many Hindus who were worshiping pagan gods. Hinduism of the village where she was stationed (Dhonavur) was a religion of superstition, idolatry and shocking rituals such as infanticide, burning alive of young widows (sati), caste oppression, worse than apartheid. But Anne taught the villagers to love one another and she constructed orphanages to accommodate girls earmarked for killing and widows about to be burnt alive. Although Anne is no more, the orphanages built by her are still active. Dohnavur in south India is a refuge even today for helpless girls. Her books written when she was bedridden inspire millions.

[Yeshu Abraham]

09:11 AM on 09/09/2012

It is not Anne Carmichael, but Amy Carmichael. Dohnavur village is in Tamil Nadu, near the southernmost point of India where, in 1901, Miss Amy Carmichael of Millisle, Co. Down, began rescuing children in need. In due course she built up a large Christian community. She remained at Dohnavur for the rest of her life, dying there in 1951, without ever returning to Ireland.
The Family she built up continues to this day, now led by those who were themselves brought up in the community. A home and family is provided for children in moral and/or physical danger who have no one to care for them. Total responsibility is taken for such children. A hospital is run and staffed predominately by women who grew up in the Fellowship

Amy Carmichael or Amma, as she was affectionately called by everyone in her community, was a gifted writer who produced many books and hundreds of hymns and poems.

[suenet77]

11:18 PM on 09/07/2012

I read your article with interest. I certainly agree that you have a right to have your personal boundaries respected and that this' faith healer' was out of line.
I do not, however, subscribe to your thinking about suffering. It is true that suffering does indeed draw us closer to God at times. And, what a convenient mythos to pass on to us by those in power . . .something to justify our suffering . . .to make us happy even that we suffer. And then 2000 years ago, they martyred Jesus and a religion built on Love ended up getting focused instead on his death. Jesus did not come to suffer or die . . He came to teach us to do 'greater things than these will you do." Jesus came to model the path of unconditional Love and the disciples made churches and rules. It will come to pass that we will begin to learn without suffering for we will become 'enlightened.' A child needs to touch the flame once or twice to know that it is hot and to stay away. Why would he stay and live in the flames if he had a choice? Why should we?

[Nathanael S]

02:45 PM on 09/15/2012

"It will come to pass that we will begin to learn without suffering for we will become 'enlightened.' A child needs to touch the flame once or twice to know that it is hot and to stay away. Why would he stay and live in the flames if he had a choice? Why should we?"

Excuse me for answering you. I think it's not the human being who has a choice it's God who choose. Apostle Paul didn't take a choice he asked God to take the choice, and God let him living "in the flames". We need the flames, because we don't see how big our EGO is, how terrible our sinful life and character is. We human beings become so fast proud, although we're just "dust", and the long-burning flames remember who we're and teachs us humility, how much we need God. In the case of Apostle Paul I think it's because it should preserve him for pride, if I'm not wrong. Jesus teached us how we should pray every day(like the tollkeeper), I know sooo less people(me too) who pray to God with tears of repentance every day, but that's the way, and living "in the flames" can teach us this way of prayer, I believe.

[suenet77]

09:09 PM on 09/20/2012

The ego works both ways, you know. It is very cagey. not only does it tell us how good we are; it also tells us , falsely, I might add, how terrible and sinful we are. After all, it is only doing its job and that is to keep us enslaved and 'in the flames' as you call it. You will never be free if you listen to your ego. Yes, God wants us to learn humility; He also wants us to be happy, joyous and free.

[judg724]

04:46 PM on 09/07/2012

God bless you Beth. The way I understand the New Testament, God is not doing a lot of miracles anymore because of grace. He says that things like miracles and tongues are in part, and that which is in part, will be done away with. They were transferred from the Jews to the Gentiles temporarily to "make Israel jealous", but was not meant for the uncircumcised, (non Jews). Today we are under the dispensation of Grace, and all we have to is to believe and trust in Jesus, and we are saved. Works come as a result of our maturing and out of our love and desire to serve God. There was a time in my life that I bought into the faith healers and those who say God working this way still today. Although I certainly believe God can and does work supernaturally today, the vast majority of God's working today is on people's hearts through reading His word, and being in prayer with Him. Those who push this kind of "healing" on people are very immature as Christians and, in my opinion, are actually doing harm to the image of God that others see through those Christians who supposedly follow Him. It's amazing how much destruction bad teaching and theology can do. I only hope Parking Lot Healer and his ilk don't hurt and offend people so much that they have no desire to seek God.

[Robert Frano]

03:32 PM on 09/07/2012

Re: "...My polite decline of his offer to heal me left him stunned." {B.Hopkins}

I have suggested a challenge here on H/P / elsewhere, to the proselytizing-monotheist-community: Can you guys go for a whole year without any verbally-coercive / physically violent misbehavior directed at the rest of us?
No more Jerusalem-Based Haredi throwing epithets & spit/stones at an 8 year old goin’ to school showing a little too much (‘upper-arm’), flesh??

No more ‘Scott-50-To-Life-Roeder’s’, with their peculiar ‘blood-spilling, during-Mass’ prolife-counter-ceremonies?

No more ‘great-ecclesiastic-welcomes’ for petroleum-speculator-warriors, like Tony Blair, of the ‘prolifer’s war in Iraq, Afghanistan & Pakistan’ infamy?

No more Cardinal Princess-molester-protectors like Law, Egan, Burke, Dolan, George, Mahoney, Brady and/or Bishop-rapist-protectors Finn, Williamson, etc.?

Such misbehavior includes ALL written pamphleting, econo-begging, with & without ‘hell-‘N-damnation-threats’, etc.

So how about it my publically sanctimonious, superficially pious, brothers ‘N sisters??
Care to allow me / mine to go to hell in whatever style I / we choose…
Minus your unsolicited behind-the-secular-throne-legislating?

...Is that simply tooooooo much to ask?

[Felicia Gaddis]

01:12 AM on 09/07/2012

Wow!!! As a former Roman Catholic whose beliefs are now more akin to "Parking Lot Healer", you just reminded me of the main reason I'm no longer Catholic. I don't believe that suffering is in anyway a testament to the transformative power of God. Yes, Paul did suffer with the "thorn in his flesh", but at least he asked to have it removed, God just said no... but he asked.

And Paul did "recognized that to be a Christian is to endure hardship as a means of drawing strength from God", but who said that hardship was to come from illness? Everywhere Jesus went he healed people. It's the "children's bread". [Matt. 15:26] Why not partake?

There will always be suffering when we follow Christ. Jesus suffered an agonizing death BECAUSE he healed people and set them free. There were many religious people who didn't like that then and I have found that there are many who don't like it now. They enjoy seeing others suffer... they enjoy being around misery and pain, but Jesus wasn't one of them, and neither am I.

When I received Jesus in my heart, I had peace and real joy for the first time in my life. I knew that I would never have to suffer helplessly and hopelessly ever again. There's nothing on earth that would ever cause me to give that up. Christ desires more for me... for us all... and I will NEVER settle for less.

[DavMcKay]

08:15 PM on 09/06/2012

Amen. And again, "Amen!"

(from someone who has had his own run ins with Parking Lot Healers.

[notanaxkiller]

08:08 PM on 09/06/2012

I love your article, Beth.

[cain61]

08:05 PM on 09/06/2012

I like to think people with a 3-dgit IQ have grown far past belief in faith healing.

[Ken Scherer]

05:07 PM on 09/06/2012

I had a faith healer literally put his left foot behind my right foot & forcefully push me back w/his holy oil-soaked right hand on my forehead in an attempt to trip me in order to make others think I was "slain in the Spirit". Startled, I caught my balance, remained standing & looked him eye-to-eye in disbelief. I've attended over 10,000 church services during my nearly half a century as a Christian. During one particular UPCI service I was so tired & wanted the ministers to just leave me alone so much that I faked being slain in the Spirit at my pew & took a nap on the carpet. I’m much happier now being a liberal & progressive syncretic universalistic Christian.

[Raglimidechi]

04:04 PM on 09/06/2012

This guy, the parking lot healer, was rather intrusive and presumptuous, and he needs to think about that for a while.