THE BLOG
04/20/2006 11:35 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Making Rain

China's got toxic
dust storms - expanding deserts -
and they just got E!

I wrote that haiku about a year ago and now I read that China is making rain. To stop the dust storms. And I have a lot of questions.

For one, if China can make rain can we? If we can make rain do we? If we can't, will China try to create droughts here so that we will have to buy their rain? Do we make the technology that China is using in rainmaking? Have we contributed to the environmental situation that created their dust storms? I mean beyond bringing them E!?

Also, I wonder if America and China can both make rain then can other countries? Can Iran? If Iran can't make rain can we give them that in trade for their nuclear capabilities? Can Russia make rain? Is the cold war becoming a wet war? Can France make rain? Can French rain make you thin?

Someone just walked by my desk and told me that America made rain over the Ho Chi Min trail during the Vietnam War. Forty years ago! I have no verification. He happens to be good with facts. So I believe him. But it's 2006 so when he says "we" I wonder if he means the US Army or an American corporation on "enemy" soil? If it's a corporation, then can they control weather for commerce? Can commercial rain help big business farms beat family farms? Can genetic material be embedded in rain and impact crops? Could they come up with a caffeinated rain that gives everyone a boost around three PM?

More disturbingly, if we can make rain can we make hurricanes? Some people say that unsavory factions of our own government started Katrina in order to impound the gulf's oil rich territory. Other people say our enemies started Katrina. Can they be right? And if they are, how does weather control effect global warming/extreming/climate collapse?

There's that song in "Oliver!". "Who will buy this beautiful morning...?" Meaning, of course no one can own a beautiful day. What an old fashioned notion. A notion from a nation before E!