04/23/2012 05:52 pm ET Updated Jun 23, 2012

Just Call Me 'The Anti-Bitch'

To most people, the word "bitch" is an unsettling one. In the past, it was most commonly used as an insult. In fact, I would venture to say that its use in most cases caused any woman's blood to boil. Most often, it was used only as an offensive little gem to be hurled as a weapon of defense or a sign of disgust. Between you and me, this repulsive little adjective has only been tossed my direction but a handful of times and when it was, I can assure you, it was certainly not met with a hospitable reaction.

As of late, the word "bitch" seems to have taken on a whole new meaning -- a meaning that really peeves me. It seems that in some strange twist of sanity, many women have now adopted this word as some sort of rite of passage or show of power. Some have even come up with cute little acronyms such as, "Babe In Total Control of Herself." Not only has the word become socially acceptable, it has even seeped into our fashion culture as well. Many young girls can be seen haughtily sporting swanky little sweat suits with the word "bitch" emblazoned on the behind.

In my opinion, the "I have to be a bitch to get things done" attitude seems to be little more than a cover up for a low self-esteem. I have known many successful women in my life and very few of them needed to announce their "bitchiness" to prove their worth as a strong independent woman. In fact, the literal definition of the word according to Webster's reads:

1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2: (a) a lewd or immoral woman or (b) a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman -- sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

I don't know about you but, I personally do not care to be associated with any of the references made above. None of them seem to be very complimentary or congenial.

As a sexual health educator, I will venture to say that most times the use of this word in such a manor will serve only to alienate your mate. The term "bitch" certainly doesn't bring about feelings of warmth and openness. Unless your relationship is one of healthy power play with an open forum for communicative BDSM play with roles firmly grounded, I don't see it as healthy verbiage.

As an empowerment coach and a retired courtesan, I will say that allowing yourself to be called a "bitch" or proudly wearing the title will only stand to make it acceptable for others to form antagonistic opinions of you. It is doing little more than welcoming negativity and the acceptance of insults. I feel it also speaks to the obvious signs of an inferiority complex.

When did this word gain such a seemingly inoffensive meaning? Personally, I see it not only as an insult to women as a whole but as social acceptance of a poor attitude about life and toward those around us. All too often, the unkind or rude behavior of women is laughed off or simply dismissed. I have heard it explained in such ways as, "Oh, that's just how she is. She's just bitchy."

Ladies, I am here to tell you that you are better than that and it should not be acceptable. It is not okay to treat other people, men or women, poorly. It is certainly not a sign of strength. The strongest of women ruled with a velvet-gloved fist. I am proud to call myself an Anti-Bitch because it certainly takes far more strength to be a powerful, successful woman while wearing a smile rather than a frown.

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