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Bethany St. James

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Sexuality vs. Sensuality: The Steady Decline of Affection in America

Posted: 01/10/2012 4:24 pm

I am a legal prostitute. A courtesan. A working girl. I am all of these adjectives and many more. I happily and proudly make my living working in a legal brothel. My blatant acknowledgement of this fact might cause your heart to race. Whether out of anger or excitement, the fact is that I accept payment in exchange for affection. If you'll notice, I did not use the word "sex" when describing what I do. That's neither out of shame nor embarrassment, rather because sex is only a tiny percentage of what I do. I am proud of what I do, and I enjoy it immensely. I have had the honor and joy of entertaining men and women from all walks of life, professions and of various financial means. There is a misconception that those who seek the company of a paid companion are unable to find companionship on their own or that they are simply of amoral. That might be true in many instances, however, being one who practices the art of courtesanship, I can attest that my experiences have been much different.

Although assorted diversities, tastes and needs are typical, what has recently caught my attention is the American public's sudden desire for a GFE-style companionship. For those unfamiliar with GFE, allow me to explain. The acronym, so commonly used in my profession, stands for "Girl Friend Experience." In many déclassé forms of prostitution the definition of the girlfriend experience might mean that the lady offers kissing as part of her repertoire for an extra fee. A true courtesan offers herself in her entirety. The whole experience, whether a few moments or a few days, feels as though there is a deep connection of sensuality and warmth between the parties. The art of being a courtesan is perfected only with the exchange of affection and a desire for closeness, which comes from raw, unbridled passion. A true courtesan feels a genuine appreciation for her client.

Having been a professional paramour all my adult life, I was struck by the recent resurgence of requests for romantic interludes. I started to wonder: What has caused so many people to suddenly feel so alone and in need of an ear, a hand to hold, or casual dinner conversation? The answer is simple.

In my opinion, modern Americans have failed miserably when it comes to differentiating between the words "sex" and "sensuality." Our view of what is "sexy" has become so askew that many women and men don't even know what their own desires are anymore. With most contemporary portrayals of sexuality being outright promiscuity and tactless drunken debauchery, it's not surprising that women and men have lost sight of the joys and need for sensuality. Between this severely misguided view of human sexuality and the pressures of our everyday lives, the sex lives of most Americans have been stunted. Those involved in relationships, and even those who are battling through the "dating scene," are faced with the pressures to conform to what society is telling us sex should be.

There is a lack of appreciation for tenderness running rampant through our sexual society. Our porn has become boring and, in my opinion, it might have much to do with this unrealistic and unromanticized version of physical pleasure. Women seem to think that a quick, rough and raunchy screw is the definition of "sexy" for men. Men seem to think that a sweaty, all night, creatively impressive, position-fest is the answer. Although both have their place, that isn't the only way to give your partner the ultimate satisfaction. Taking the time to kiss, caress and hold one another is so important and the ability to really listen to one another is essential.

Allow me, a self-proclaimed expert in the field of pleasure, to be the one to tell you that the desire for pillow talk, kissing and tenderness has never been at such an all-time premium. My clients come from far and wide just to have the opportunity to let go, be romantic, take their time and just enjoy the company of another human. It might sound odd to take advice from a woman who is paid to pleasure the public, but I can assure you, the more you listen, the less the public will need my services.

 

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