Defending My Beloved Mentor, Former Cosmo Editor Helen Gurley Brown

The following post is my response as a former Cosmopolitan editor to an upcoming book, written up in Page Six Wednesday, trashing former Cosmo top editor Helen Gurley Brown.

Two mentors changed my life: Michael R. Bloomberg and Helen Gurley Brown. A strange combo? Not really — one taught me about money and the other about men, and by the way, Helen flirted with Mike and he loved it. What man doesn't?

I joined Cosmo as a senior editor in 1991 and entered the Disneyland of magazine jobs. My mother always says that Helen changed my life. I'd been widowed at 37, gone back to work more than full time in television until one day HGB discovered me at Fox and invited me to join her staff. I was going to be her poster child — the mouseburger who became a Cosmo girl and she was on my side. You have no idea how good that felt.

There wasn't a staff member who didn't adore her and while we did question some of her stands on relevant issues, her take on them was always with a twist. Because of my television background, she knew enough to ask me to do some of the tougher talk shows, on subjects where her judgment might be questioned — date rape, AIDS, silicone implants. There was always her side to the story too and try as she would, she just didn't understand why a guy wouldn't take no for an answer....but we pitched in to help out in those sticky times.

Helen loves men and she made me love and like them too; she taught us how to get one IF we wanted one. I learned to soften the tough side of me; the art of flirting, deflecting sexual harassment comments with humor, exercising - which she did every day with her little dumb bells, and learning to listen without passing judgment. Fun had come back into my life thanks to her.

I loved her visits to my office when she would sit and make me feel I was her oxygen for the day so mesmerizing was she as a listener (HGB always said men wanted two things: a great lover and a great listener). She loved my stories about encountering the then presidential nominee Bill Clinton in my apartment lobby and flirting with him and encouraged me to find a nice rich man who could take care for me. She set me up on dates, sent me to her psychiatrist when I was dating a married man and stuck by her mantra — "never fall in love with a married man" — even when I told her this one was different and he would marry me. Of course he didn't.

Using Cosmopolitan as her medium, Helen gave women the same sexual freedom men had and taught us to enjoy it and make it fun. She has been acknowledged as one of the greatest editors in the business and what she taught us about writing and editing was a gift - someone ought to check out how long her editors stayed with her out of huge love, devotion and awe. Each one of us became a Cosmo girl and I never saw a downside. Unlike sisterhood wars, Helen made us friends not competitors.

Helen changed my life as she did millions of other girls' lives. Who cares about the incidental boo boos along the way? You'll never find a Cosmo girl who hasn't learned to get what she wants using a few tricks learned between the pages of her bible.

Comments

[Sportswoman]

One more thing about HGB: She was among the first advocates for abortion rights and her movie "Sex and The Single Girl" with Steve McQueen and Natalie Wood remains a classic example of why abortion cannot be outlawed in America. She also celebrated the liberation of women in not being forced into motherhood, vis-a-vis the pill--and that equal pay for equal work was both morally and ethically correct.

[Sportswoman]

She taught us how to be strong enough to survive relationships and move on. Brown took those of us who were "Mouseburgers" like herself and be vixens trumping our innate low self-esteem. She knew some of us have/had trouble even making eye contact with a man and showed us not to be afraid.She recognized the biological differences between the sexes and yet was among the first to acknowledge homosexuality as an alternative life style for others. She was the Hugh Hefner of women without the constant entourage of wor shippers. She stayed married to the man she loved and was unafraid to share how she, a mouseburger secretary, ended up with David Brown, a successful 20th Century Fox Producer.
Whomever this person is attacking her, for god sakes. This is an old woman now who was a pioneer in heretofore the men's field of publishing. Have you no sense of decency?

[CrimeaRiver]

What's also a shame is that HGB's alleged business acumen and sexual savvy weren't translated thusly on the page. Cosmo took the women's movement two steps back for every step forward it advanced. HGB's antiquated notion of plying feminine wiles may have been all fun and games and pseudo-strategies back in her day, but she fueled sexual objectification and provided soft porn for men at the checkout line -- not exactly the uplifting message for women seeking equal footing and authentic lives. She sounds like a "great old broad" in another lifetime, far removed from the realities for the working woman over the past 40 years.

[writer10027]

The term "Cosmo girl" (to refer to a female of any age) kind of sums it up..."girl": a juvenile female.
(You never hear about the "Cosmo woman" -- it's forever "girl" and that is applicable.)

A "Cosmo girl" has a condescending attitude toward men and yet is rather pathetically dependent on men ("get" a "rich man to take care of you").

Taken seriously, it's garbage. Taken as a funny charicature of what a woman is, and scanned for the few useful tidbits about makeup & occasionally fashion, and a clever astrology write-up, it's silly froth that has a somewhat cloying aftertaste but doesn't have enough substance to cause real indigestion.

[sunny555]

Back in HGB's day, I loved Cosmo. The writing was terrific and the articles were helpful. IMO there has never been an editor for this type of magazine like her since.

After she left was replaced as editor, the magazine went completely downhill. Even if it is still raking in ad dollars, it is a piece of hyper-se xualized gar bage, and doesn't remotely resemble its former glory days.

I guess somebody needs to make a buck by rip ping HGB. I'd say they are as tra shy as her former magazine has become.

[DC]

Strange...HGB was a talented and smart woman. Yes, she was a listener as few people can be, and she keen observer.

The Cosmo girl was the one from Arkansas pressing her face against the glass looking into the Cosmo life -- or the insecure girl/woman's imagination of if.

Her magazine capitalized upon all these insecurities of sexuality, body, image, intellect, money. Vacuous set of values. This was the HGB I knew.

[fleaba]

Cosmo was on the forefront of telling women it's okay to love sex.
And how to enjoy themselves. Nothing wrong with that. Men everywhere should be cheering for HGB.

[Pippen]

You can't generalize about either gender as you have in this posting. This is 2009. Every man is different at various stages of their lives just as women are different.

There are certain generalities that make us similar by virtue of our genetic design but if you have to look hard to find what you like about the guy, you've spent 5 minutes more than any man would.

What men want and what men deserve and/or need are all very different. If women pursue what men "want" they're about to find themselves on a treadmill.

The old adages given to us by our great grand parents hold true today as they did when they were first ushered.

Court long and romantic before sharing more than hugs and kisses or you'll be sorry later. Courtship gives everyone a chance to observe their romantic focus time to see what they are like during times of stress. If you haven't seen this you don't know who your dating. period.

Most men don't give a rat whether you make a million or 100 a week, if we like you we like you. period. But if you want to attract a man who does have a problem with you making huge, then your going to inherit a problem from the start.

But lets face it, if the other person is gorgeous we give them a pass on everything short of murder.

[Snowflower]

"She loved my stories about encountering the then presidential nominee Bill Clinton in my apartment lobby and flirting with him and encouraged me to find a nice rich man who could take care for me."

Really, this came from a *mentor*? What kind of positive female role model tells a woman to find a rich man to take care of her?

I read Cosmo in high school because it seemed to be so "grown up." Then I grew up and realized that there were magazines that respected a woman's sexuality and embraced freedom without counseling her to have an affair with her boss in order to get ahead.

Hearst saved the title by axing HGB.

[Clavis]

Speaking as a male, Cosmopolitan is a national treasure. Thanks for the article.

[PennP]

Very sweet tribute. I knew an editor who'd worked for her who'd had rather different experiences, but she was also allergic to the color pink.

One thing deserves mention: The Queen of Mouseburgers made extremely savvy business decisions. She could purr about men like Mirabelle Morgan on happy pills, but in reality she was a kitten with a whip when negotiating with them, wresting then-unheard-of rights over Cosmo, and her smarts and her will made her a very rich and powerful woman. She might advise every unmarried woman to find a good man to take care of her, but in reality, HGB took care of herself. It's just a shame she failed to relinquish the Cosmo post after her perspective became unfashionable and later untenable, but it was understandable, given the nature of the woman and what she'd built.