Manhattan Does Drizzle: Rainy Days And Sarah Palin Make Me Cranky

12/15/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Enough of Sarah Palin; I just knew she'd never be happy staying in Alaska after having been to all those other fun states, flown in a private jet, had hair and make up done and someone else to carry her Samsonite and baby sit those kids with room service chicken fingers and ketchup. We created a media monster who'd rather be anywhere but Wasilla.

It just makes me nuts to think she's still around instead of taking English lessons to correct her bizarre sentence structure and maybe even auditing a few courses on international events - with a little hard work I'll bet she can earn a virtual degree on line with the University of Phoenix or Wasilla U.

And it doesn't help that it's a rainy day in New York and that my taxi ride cost $15 to go 20 blocks which was a huge and unhappy indulgence stuck as I was in traffic while Bush had the nerve to be here talking about the economy (as if he really knew the difference between LIBOR and Librium).

And I'm cranky because people use golf size umbrellas that poke at your eyes and congregate at sidewalk curbs so I can't see oncoming cars when I cross against the light. And I hate that people still smoke on the streets and pollute my air obviously unaware smoking can cause cancer. In my informal poll, and judging by accents, it seems most of those offenders speak in foreign tongues which makes me think we need to export some of those icky PSA pictures of mangled tongues and lungs along with re-runs of Law and Order.

And I truly am annoyed being pursued by those perfume spritzers and cosmetic harpies who rush me when I'm racing through a department store to avoid the raindrops; although I could probably use a touch up or a face lift, stop making me feel bad - my body language should speak volumes so read it please before you suggest I need moisturizer or a change in my color palette.

And watching children in strollers being pushed by nannies also bugs me; there's an obesity issue in this country and to watch these caregivers provide toddlers with bags of goldfish crackers and trail mix is part of the problem. Whatever happened to eating three meals a day at the kitchen table rather than constant snacking? And in case you're the parent of one of these children, I have yet to see one of these nannies NOT on a cell phone while pushing your off-spring.

Of course I could continue to complain about Christmas decorations and that darned tinsel that's popping up when I still have ochre colored mums in my house, but I prefer to blame everything on the rain and Sarah Palin. The rain will stop but I'm worried she won't. Her fifteen minutes of fame must be up - anyone else counting?