"The Yes Kid" Obama vs "The Old Warrior" McCain

05/25/2011 12:25 pm ET

In the yesterday's contest in Wisconsin, the "Yes We Can Kid" Obama won his hotly contested bout with "Smarty Pants" Clinton by 625,000 votes against her 452,000 votes. The "Old Warrior" McCain only won 224,000 votes against "The Squirrel Eating Minister" Huckabee's 151,000.

Even before the "Old Warrior" and the "Yes Kid" climbed into the ring, the "Yes Kid" outdistanced McCain in a purple state by more than 400,000 votes portending a Democratic win there in the general election this fall.

Suited up in a stripped red, white, and blue cape, the battle-scarred "Old Warrior" struggled into the ring tonight as the presumptive GOP presidential nominee, flashing a weird frozen smile while uttering ominous warnings "that Americans shouldn't be deceived by an eloquent but empty call for change..." Code: The "Yes Kid" is an empty suit.

Polite applause by a couple hundred middle-aged and older country clubbers and a few young rich adults who have no immediate plans to fight in any war but chatting on their i-Phones and snapping photographs they will send to their pals sitting on Wall Street or still guzzling beer at private coastal colleges.

The slim, energetic "Yes Kid" - fresh from his recent bout that buried the "inevitable" Democratic challenger and still showing the bloody cuts and bruises of that year-long campaign - entered the ring with the "Old Warrior" to a wildly cheering multi-racial and youthful crowd of 19,000.

The "Old Warrior" threw down his second slug of the night - reading it on teleprompter - with the monotone warning that the fans shouldn't risk the "confused leadership of an inexperienced candidate" but instead, choose the experienced leader. Code: Vote for me, the "Yes Kid" is too risky.

The "Yes Kid" wasn't shaking in his tennis shoes and without notes or teleprompter, shot back with:

"John McCain is a "genuine American hero," then added, "but when he embraces George Bush's failed economic policies, when he says that he is willing to send our troops into another 100 years of war in Iraq, then he represents the policies of yesterday, and we want to be the party of tomorrow." Ouch

Round One: The "Yes Kid" wins.

The "Old Warrior" stumbled back to his feet and landed the same attack plan that didn't work for the last challenger against The Kid, "I'm not the youngest. But I am the most experienced."


The "Yes Kid" was still bouncing around the ring, waiting for another round while giving his crowd a 45-minute spin around the world with new policies and promises for change while the "Old Warrior" retreated to the corner for a much needed rest. He looked tired.

Round Two: The "Yes Kid" wins.

The bout will continue but ringside, the pundits were all in agreement:

The "Yes Kid" looks like a winner.

At age 71, the "Old Warrior" just doesn't have the juice, the rhetorical talent, or the intellectual moves to last in a 10-round match against the 46 year old "Yes Kid," who inspires rather than fear mongers and offers change rather than another 4 years of the same policies of the current political champ sitting in the White House.