Dem Debate Shocker: Everyone On Stage Plagiarized From Me

A close reading of the transcript from last night's CNN/Univision debate reveals that everyone on stage plagiarized from me. The proof:

Whatever happens, we're going to be fine. -- Hillary Clinton, last night
I'm fine. I'm going to be fine. Just go away. -- Me, to my wife, after stepping on a rake and whapping myself in the face with the handle, July 2002

There were rocky periods during my youth, when I made mistakes and was off course. -- Barack Obama, last night
I've made a mistake, okay? I've gone off the course. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? Jackasses. -- Me, to my golfing buddies Steve and Tito, after driving the cart off the fairway and getting us all lost in a thicket of birch trees, August 2006

Bienvenidos a Tejas. -- Panelist Jorge Ramos, last night
Bienvenidos a Tejas. Me llamo Guillermo. Donde esta la biblioteca? -- Me, in third period Spanish (Mr. Dunn), October-January 1975

We've got a lot of ground to cover. -- Moderator Campbell Brown, last night
Because we've got a lot of ground to cover today, okay? That's why. -- Me, explaining to my wife why we can't stop in Green River, UT and see the world's biggest watermelon; summer road trip 2005

Do you think it's time for a president of the United States to raise his or her hand and say, "You know what? Wait a minute. Let's think about this again. Do we really want to do this?" -- panelist John King, last night
Wait a minute. Let's think about this. Do you really want to do this? Seriously. I mean, I'm probably fine. -- Me, to my internist, toward the end of my last physical; January 2008

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Comments

[Lindy222]

11:35 PM on 02/22/2008

Hilarious! More, please.

[WomanInOrangeSweater]

02:33 PM on 02/22/2008

I'm willing to conceed that everyone on the stage plagiarized from you. But you plagiarized the lines from me. I said all that stuff at least two years earlier than you did. My shrink will vouch for me on the "rocky periods during my youth quote" I know I said that in 2001. How about a little credit here?

[sebocd]

02:01 PM on 02/22/2008

How's the weather in Waco?

[ndolomar]

01:51 PM on 02/22/2008

i think the bigger argument here is that for hillary clinton to try and hammer home a point that barack used someone else's words was overshadowed by the fact that she used john edwards' and bill clinton's words in what was supposed to be her "most authentic" and "profound" moment of the debate. it sort of tarnishes the halo she apparently thought she was wearing.

[independentrepublicrat]

01:40 PM on 02/22/2008

Funny!

Try this little jingle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H60y8mHMpmU

[HowardRoarke]

02:55 PM on 02/22/2008

You Clinton lovers...

[HowardRoarke]

01:25 PM on 02/22/2008

Pretty funny.

The problem is attitude and projection.

Obama thinks the ideas the words represent matter more than the words themselves.

Hillary thinks the words only mean something if they are original.

Problem for her is her "best moment" of the debate the humanness and sincerity of her closing remarks. According to her, that means she's insincere and inhumane.