" ...But there's a phone in the White House and it's ringing.... Who do you want answering the phone?" (Clinton campaign spot, 2/29/08)
...Really? You do? Him? Hmm. Okay, well... Okay, so wait. Wait. Let's say it's like... It's like FOUR in the morning. Okay? And your children are safe and asleep, and they've got the puppy in bed with them. Right? The puppy, and the bunny from your daughter's homeroom. Okay? Kids, puppy, bunny. And there's a knock at the White House door. It's a delivery from the Chinese place. Who do you want answering the door? You want the one who's gonna check the order, right? And make sure they didn't give you the Orange Chicken again, instead of the General Tso's. Like they did that time? Remember? You think Obama's gonna check the order? Please, he'll be so high on ganja he'll just tear into the bag without looking and you WON'T EVEN GET ANY. And then where'll you be? Hungry and alone at four in the morning, with the wrong entree and a bedroom full of animals. Rabid, angry animals.
I'm Hillary Clinton, and I approved my advisers' wishes that you be terrified by this message.
(Cross-posted from billbarol.tumblr.com)
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