I live near a college campus, and I love it. I live so close in fact, that my residential street actually ends up being a parking lot for the university. Every day cars jockey for position at my curb and students race off to class. It's one downside to living at this location, but I knew that before I moved here so fair enough.
Another downside that I didn't really give much thought is the amount of trash those college students just toss at my curb. Coffee cups, fast food bags, literally hundreds of cigarette butts a month, beer bottles. Whatever debris that can be found inside a car has ended up on my lawn. My personal favorites were the purple panties and an animal skull drinking a Lone Star. I pick up the trash almost every day. I just can't leave it there, although many of the other homeowners on my street don't seem to have any trouble ignoring it. I think that's odd. The neighbor two doors down has had a sideview mirror on his curb for a few weeks now.
Last week, I found a love note. Or what I would classify as a love note even though it was written on a large, yellow Post-it. I read it 4 or 5 times and something stuck with me about it.
So here we have a guy writing a sweet note to his girl. Somehow, it ended up on my grass. It had been folded twice and signed with a smiley face. How does this happen? How did this guy's intimate thoughts wind up blowing in the wind, so to speak?
Logically, because I'd like to think I am built that way, I decided there were only a few ways the note gets separated from the girl.
1. She loses the note on accident. This could happen a thousand ways, but I'd say losing this on accident would be careless. A note like this is worth it's weight in gold. Careless with the note=careless with matters of the heart.
2. She throws it away. Maybe it gets thrown away the day it's received because she doesn't feel the same way. Or, perhaps it gets thrown away after a breakup. If that's the case, then I'm thinking keeping it is too painful or that the breakup was bad. Not sure it matters.
3. I can't think of another way this note ends up on my curb that isn't stupid or far fetched.
To the girl:
Never throw away a love letter. You won't get as many as you think you will. No matter how your relationships end, and most of them will end, they make you who you are today. Burying them too deep will make you repeat the same mistakes over and over, or choose the wrong man again and again. Find a cute little box. Put any and all sweet notes you get inside. Read them once a year. Pick a day, New Year's Day let's say, and remind yourself of some things. Don't get too nostalgic. That's the present's worse enemy. Nostalgia makes what is old better than it was. But read them with growth in mind. Evolve. Things happen for a reason and sometimes the reason is you messed up. Sometimes you are selfish. Sometimes you don't consider people. Sometimes, it's not your fault so much.
To the guy:
Dude. This is a lame note. First, you wrote it on a post-it note. If you are going to tell someone how you feel to this level, you need to slow down and think it through a little. Scrawling a few lines out on a paper scrap on your way out the door is a missed opportunity. There are some things you get to say for the first time only once and you need to make them count.
More importantly, your musings are general, mostly cliches: "You're the best thing that ever happened to me," "I can't imagine not having you by my side," "You mean more to me than anyone else in the whole world", "I am truly blessed because of you." These statements mean everything, and yet they mean nothing. These are the kind of phrases that are thrown around, dropped, recycled when needed, and put back in line. They are the love note's version of vanilla ice cream. They are unsatisfying. They are also too much, possibly overwhelming. A love salvo.
Brother, you have to do better. Find something about your life together that is special and, most importantly, unique to your girl. Something that will bring a smile to her face in 20 years whether she is with you or not.
"This morning, I watched you blow dry your hair. Like most mornings, your hair dryer woke me up, but I didn't mind. I rubbed my eyes awake and watched you. You may think I watched you because you blow dry your hair naked, which is a huge bonus, but that's not why I watched you. It was at first, I must admit. You are breathtaking.
I like WHY you blow dry your hair naked. I like that you don't want the hot air to get you sweaty. I like how you don't want to be hot when you put your clothes on for the day. I like that you have a system when you blow dry your hair. You tilt way to your left first and let your hair hang straight down. You run your hand through your hair first, then you use that rather ratty brush of yours. Then more hand swipes. Next, there is something you do with the top your head, but I can't really describe it. It looks like you're picking stars out of the sky. Next is a rather violent head shake and a tremendous swing of your hips to the left side. This is my absolute favorite part. Sometimes, I wake up too late to see this and it's disappointing. I want you to know that I wouldn't mind seeing this until your hair is gray. I'm not sure you feel the same way, but I hope you do. Have a great day, babe."
Do not go all in with the kind of phrases you wrote. They come off as too powerful. Save some ammo for later, and especially don't use those types of lines all at once...on a post-it. Being honest with your feelings is all well and good. By all means be honest. But don't be careless with throwing them around, being overwhelming, or looking desperate. You have to pick your moments and make them count. You have to do better, Mr. Post-it Note Lover.
I'll never know what the real story was behind this lost love note. I don't know the outcome of the relationship, but I am curious. I doesn't seem all that long ago that I was the age of the young people that pass by my house on their way to college classes. I had a college girlfriend and yes, I was in love with her. Or rather, I was as in love with her as I could have been at the time; that's the truth that I didn't know then. I laugh about it now when I think what's happened between now and my first post-it note love letter.
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