09/02/2010 01:12 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The Republican Party Today, Part 2: The Sucker Wing

Watching some of Fox News' coverage of the Glenn Beck hosted event at the Capital Mall over the weekend I caught about the umpteenth clip of one of his fans pointing out that they were there to support the Constitution. And, oh yes, that the President does not believe in it. Disagreement for many, perhaps most of these people adds up to a consistent conclusion: We are True Americans, and liberals, the "hate America crowd," are knowingly and deliberately working to destroy it (as Mr. Beck loves to say, "liberalism is a cancer." Eradicate it!). It's a conundrum so resoundingly stupid that my emotions get a bit carried away. "No lady," I want to scream at that inscrutable screen, "it's YOU who do not support the Constitution. It's you and the millions of useful idiots like you who have made it possible that America will be destroyed."

The Kleptomaniac Wing of the Republican Party came that close to dong just that three years ago, and these people are the very enablers who may permit them to finish the job. They love to think of themselves as such Patriots; the liberals, on the other hand, are traitors. Naturally liberals want to refrain from reflecting back such silliness, so they typically end up defending their own patriotism. But the truth is nearly as simple as the minds of these followers: They are not patriots at all; this particular mass of American humanity is selfish, narcissistic, and extremely fearful of losing what little they have. Or what they think they have. They've already had a fair amount taken from them by the very oil, banking, and armament execs that encourage and support them politically. And who will be thrilled to knock them back to the streets and perhaps, if all goes well, debtors' prison; it's just business after all. These victims hand their parasites the means by which they engorge themselves; in return they get to think of themselves as "patriots." It's fun to dress up in Red, White and Blue; you feel good about yourself.

Imagine how in an America of the Koch brothers making and Grover Norquist's highest ideals we have no minimum wage, no child labor laws, no public education, no social security, no regulation of business, no environmental protection. And just imagine what we will all retain because of it: Liberty! Shout that principle to the rooftops; do it effectively and you will rake in millions of dollars in donations or revenue from the very patrons who so enjoy doling out those dollops of Liberty. This is not the American liberty that I know and value, in which the individual's free will is taken as a given. It certainly is not the liberty from which we have gradually constructed the public structures that exist to protect and further the integrity of that natural diversity, not to mention the broad economic interest of the middle class. What these folks grasp as "constitutional" is feudalism, a wholly other sort of social contract.

It's the Sucker Wing of the Republican Party that will always make sure the true American elite maintains some sort of perch. During the 1930s the Kleptomaniac Wing flopped when it came to seizing the public sector because Roosevelt and the Democrats succeeded in convincing most of the Sucker Wing that they really would be suckers if they voted against their own personal interests. They succeeded at this in good part because they "welcomed the hatred" of the kleptomaniacs. The black comedy we see playing out today suggests that the kleptomaniacs have improved their techniques and sharpened their investments. Liberals, by contrast, are mostly unwilling to even try to separate the marks from their predators; many of them, too many, appear to long for their piece of the action.

Add the two wings together, kleptomaniacs and suckers. We now have an impressively virulent incarnation of a major party. It yearns to swallow the county whole and purify it. All I see coming out of the other end of this is one enormous turd. And it stinks.