On the inevitable occasion of the Huffington Post's entrée into television, it behooves me to say a few words about the business, and occasional art, of television. Because if HuffPost's getting into TV, really, how much longer before Arianna takes that over and I'm working for her full-time? Five years?...
1285 Comments | Posted October 3, 2011 | 01:00:00 (EST)
I almost cried the other night when Arianna mentioned that HuffPost was launching Huff/Post50, and did I have any thoughts about being over 50...
Any? Unfortunately, I have nothing but thoughts about being over 50.
I remember seeing Alan King in Atlantic City in the '80s (when I was a...
Posted January 28, 2011 | 17:45:02 (EST)
New Rule: With the Super Bowl only a week away, Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, for all the F-15 flyovers and flag waving, football is our most successful sport because the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the...
Posted October 22, 2010 | 19:54:29 (EST)
New Rule: Christine O'Donnell has to stop saying, "I'm you" in her campaign ads. It doesn't get truer the more you say it. Because it's not a spell. And also because a recent poll by Harvard confirms that my views are actually more aligned with America's views than are Christine's...
Posted October 15, 2010 | 18:46:57 (EST)
New Rule: If a woman rejects your first dozen advances, don't up the ante by sending her a picture of your penis. This week, we found out that Vikings quarterback Brett Favre allegedly tried to get with a young woman by sending her MySpace messages, voicemails, and notes through a...
Posted September 24, 2010 | 09:50:09 (EST)
New Rule: The next rich person who publicly complains about being vilified by the Obama administration must be publicly vilified by the Obama administration. It's so hard for one person to tell another person what constitutes being "rich", or what tax rate is "too much." But I've done some math...
Posted June 4, 2010 | 18:30:26 (EST)
New Rule: Al Gore must come out with a sequel to his movie about climate change and call it, An Inconvenient Truth 2: What the Fuck Is Wrong with You People? A bunch of depressing new surveys reveal that people in droves are starting to believe that global warming is...
Posted May 28, 2010 | 17:10:56 (EST)
New Rule: Before running for office, politicians must be informed of their rights: that "Everything you say can and will be used against you in a Google search." Now, of course, we all embellish our resumes a little. In college, I described my job of pot dealer as "regional sales...
Posted May 21, 2010 | 17:55:13 (EST)
New Rule: The Republican leadership in America must produce their birth certificates! Not because I doubt they're Americans, I just want to make sure they're not eight-years-old. I mention this because a major talking point on Fox News and hate radio these days is that, after a year and a...
Posted May 7, 2010 | 23:17:10 (EST)
New Rule: This Mother's Day, all Americans must pause and extend a special thanks to the women who maintain our homes, who take care of our kids, and who still make time for sex with Dad. I'm talking, of course, about our nannies. Lost in this whole immigration debate is...
Posted March 26, 2010 | 18:36:06 (EST)
New Rule: You can't use the statement "there will be no cooperation for the rest of the year" as a threat if there was no cooperation in the first half of the year. Here's a word the president should take out of his teleprompter: bipartisanship. People only care about that...

325 Comments | Posted December 14, 2011 | 00:00:00 (EST)