24-Hour Republican Party People

New Rule: Republicans changed their party before -- from the party that freed the slaves to the party that freed Scooter Libby -- and they survived. Now it's time for them to stop pretending they're still the party of Reagan and take up a new banner: The Party of Superfreaky Superfreaks.

This week, the chairman of the St. Petersburg, Florida, City Council was accused of having sex with his two adopted daughters and their nanny. And he could have been in real trouble, too, if it turned out the nanny was an illegal. But he got ahead of the story when he killed himself by sitting in the garage with the doors closed and the riding lawn mower on.

Two guesses which party he was a member of. And the first guess doesn't count.

And that's not fair. You knew he was a Republican, because even in death, he was still wasting gas.

Republicans sex scandals are getting to be like Iraqi car bombings. By the time you hear about one, there's been another. Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, Bob Allen, Vitter, Craig... It's like "Clue" only the answer is always "A Republican... in the washroom... with his cock."

The Republicans should run on that. "America: You're 230 But We'll Still Fuck You." Especially if you're a dude.

It's not really inspiring, but it's better than "Mitt Romney: He Has Hair."

Bill Maher is the host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" which airs every Friday at 11PM.

Comments

[Qbear]

The Clue reference gave me a great laugh...thanks.
The best tool to wound the RNC is humor and ridicule...because they are so ill prepared to fight back in that arena.
Match yourself, Louis Black, Jon Stewart, Hugely, Steve Colbert, Whoopi, Little Bush, South Park, SNL against paltry little Dennis where-did-my career-go Miller, and it makes Custer's Last Stand look like a fair fight.

[indypete]

Hey, they had the 1/2 hour news hour, didn't they? That was funny wasn't it? Damn... sarcasm doesn't work half as well when you can't see the eyes rolling!

Remember when Dennis was funny? I get the feeling now that h's embarrassed about his political choice but, like repubs in general, can't bring himself to admit a mistake.

[cowboyneok]

I used to think Dennis Miller was funny, as well. Now I look at him as a snarky little jerk who attached his caboose to the wrong train. His humor is getting meaner and darker as he has begun to realize he chose the wrong party and its hurting his career.

[ParacleteofKavorka]

The last funny thing Dennis Miller said was about 5 years ago. "George Bush surrounds himself with good people the way a hole surrounds itself with a donut" It's even more true today.

[mivogo]

Dennis Miller has said funny--and thoughtful--things since then. This week, when urged by Bill O'Reilly to comment on the latest Britney Spears mockfest, Miller said "I really don't want to be the last one to make a 'funny' comment about her before she kills herself. That girl is clearly in trouble and needs help."
No, I don't agree with everything Miller says, but it's good to be open to all points of view. This nation has become so polarized, its frightening.

Regarding Maher, how's this for a slogan for the Republicans in 2008: "DO AS WE SAY--NOT AS WE DO."

[dadw5boys]

You for got the Flordia Republican triple gay murder, a really bad GAY break up.
http://www.americablog.com/2007/09/untangling-latest-gop-gay-scandal.html

[JustADumbFireman]

Know how to spell "forgot"???

[cowboyneok]

Why isn't this all over the traditional media? Oh, thats right, they aren't Democrats.

[dadw5boys]

Let not all get anal retentive at once.

[animatedAlan1113]

Ok, I should never read this at work. People look at me funny when I laugh out loud. Thanks, Bill. Made my day.

[Bocababs]

Funny stuff....and who is to say what will happen out there next? It has been a field day for the MSM with their "fluff stuff" at night.

[dadw5boys]

Bill for got this one.
http://www.americablog.com/2007/09/untangling-latest-gop-gay-scandal.html

[Libsrule]

That's a good one. Hope Bill uses it this week in his show.

WHAT is it about the Thug party that makes so many of them closet gays, or closet sex freaks and HOW THE HELL do they get off proclaiming themselves to be the faith and values party with that old timey Leave It To Beaver values crap?

They really should be called the Party of Hypocrites.

That Florida one was a great story.

See ya Friday Bill. I GOT TICKETS!!!!!!

[wjh123]

All of them forget to research BLACKWATER the secert army we are funding by the billions. They need war to make money for their investors.

Blackwater is our private army and they are not required to follow our rules of engagement. Nor report how many thousands are there in Iraq and elsewhere in the world. They do not have to report how many of them have died or returned wounded. It was Blackwater boys that were hung in Falujah!

[AceInTheHole]

This is only satire folks!
I repeat.
This is only satire folks!

When one tallies up all of the miscreant behavor of these skallywags, one must assume that they have turned the Devil's Dishonor Roll into a cottage industry for Neocons and Rethugs. I don't think there is much room on it for anyone else. :)

I know they are into monopolizing things but gee whiz, it looks like they are trying to monopolize sin too! :)

I don't envy the Necons and Rethugs, when they discover that word has it that Satan has plans to put Edi Amin in charge as second in command and the Rethugs/Neocons will have to deal with him and his anti- everything white, or close to white, maniac and sadistic adventures into ethnic de-cleansing. As his Eternal Revenge Cabinet of every, anti white, anti semite, anti slave trader, anti slave owner, and anti negro lynching rednecks, Eternal Revenge Cabinet that consist of about 70 million formerly captive slaves who were pushed off ships on the way to America and before they had a chance to find the Lord. And a unknown number of miscreant formerly tortured or killed Arabs, that has ever lived and died, and other European miscreants who will go unamed at this time. They all hold serious grudges and will be watching and assisting Edi as he Edi does his Edi Amin thing, But even they will be amazed and spellbound and in absolute horror, while watching Edi enthusiastically work his miscreant voodoo while shouting out his black magic icantations, such as the one that may have inspired and provoked Mike Tyson to bite off Holyfields ear. Remember that this only satire folks.

Word has it that Edi can't hardly wait for the Rethug/Neocons to arrive after Armegeddon, so he can start un-nurturing his new neighbors in his inimitable Edi Amin way forever. This is only satire folks. So just muse it for what it is, satire.