George Bush: Pardon All The Turkeys

New Rule: The president can't pardon just one or two turkeys this Thanksgiving. He's got to let them all go.

It's probably too much to expect from the man who wanted "no child left behind," then vetoed health care for kids. But think of the upside. Freeing the turkeys might help the president's credibility when he says things like, "We don't torture."

Take a look at this video, shot just last month at a typical American turkey slaughterhouse, and this one, shot undercover last year at a Butterball slaughterhouse by investigators from PETA, and you'll see that my use of the word is no exaggeration. Butterball employees, taking a page out of the Abu Ghraib handbook, laughed while they kicked, punched, stomped, and even sexually assaulted turkeys.

These people should be arrested. They would be if the turkeys were dogs or cats. Too bad our animal protection laws make about as much sense as fighting a war against a country that doesn't have an army. Even though 98 percent of the land animals Americans eat are turkeys and chickens, the federal Humane Methods of Slaughter Act specifically excludes birds from protection. I'm not kidding.

The Butterball plant in the video slaughters about 50,000 turkeys every day. Fifty million turkey corpses will go into American ovens this Thanksgiving. More than 9 billion turkeys and chickens are killed in the U.S. each year. But not one of them is guaranteed a painless death, as documented in this video that was narrated by my fellow animal-lover and HuffPo Blogger, Alec Baldwin. The Senate can find time to vote to condemn an advertisement, but not to add birds to humane slaughter laws.

So in the face of this surreal situation, in which, once again we can't put our faith in the president, I ask you to do what I'm going to do and pardon a turkey this Thanksgiving. It's not hard. Just eat something else (ideas here and here). Not someone else, because it doesn't seem fair to spare a turkey and roast a hunk of pig or cow instead. If we can bow our heads in gratitude for our families, our friends and our big screen TVs, and then carve into a creature who lived a miserable life and died a horrible death, then our ethics are about as sensible as Britney's parenting skills.

Former Vice President Al Gore should be the first to take the meat-free Thanksgiving pledge. Since raising animals for food generates more greenhouse gases than all the cars and trucks in the world combined, is it too much ask Mr. Gore to stop gazing at his Oscar and his Nobel Prize long enough to read the United Nations report that calls the meat industry "one of the top two or three most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to global"?

For those of you who believe that the war is just and that global warming is a figment of the elite liberal media's imagination, here's the straight poop:

* Turkeys and other animals raised for food produce 130 times as much excrement as the entire U.S. human population -- all without the benefit of waste treatment systems. Sewage spills, waste-filled waterways and underground aquifer contaminated with e coli are the meat industry's gift to Americans this holiday season.
* Turkey meat has just as much cholesterol as the pieces of cow and pig called "red meat." Eating meat is linked to heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, some cancers, and diabetes.

So do the right thing. Instead of stuffing a turkey this year, stuff the tradition of turkey for Thanksgiving right where it belongs -- in history's trash can.

Comments

[msahmad99]

Dear Bill,
I love your show and I can't wait for your return! It was my good laugh of the week.
The way animals are treated is the most disgusting thing about humans. I don't even believe animals are that inhumane to each other. Yes animals kill each other for food...sometimes in not the best manner say hyennas...but they really don't have many options on how they kill their prey items. But what I have to ask is what is our excuse??? If humans are so smart and the highest in intelligence then why can't we figure out a way to more humanely "execute" the animals the we consume?? I have never been a big meat eater and I decided to go vegetarian this past summer after watching a series of videos from Peta...I was horrified what happens in these slaughter houses! I think the "Meet your Meat" was by far the most disgusting! If U need a reason 2 go Veg watch that and U will never touch it again..unless UR one of the people who work in such a disgusting place. The part that really upsets me is when people say that they are just dumb animals...that's what God put them on Earth for! Whatever! I know from fact that is so far from the truth...many animals r smarter than a 3-4 year old child. Do we do this to mentally challenged people in the world? Animals feel pain,fear,loneliness and most of the emotions that we humans have. But because it's just a farm animal or any other animal it doesn't matter...will I say it does! People need to stop what we are doing and really look at the big picture...there has got to be better solutions to this animal factory farms and slaughter methods. If you do purchase meat..please buy organic, if that's out of your range at least buy from a grass fed small farm where the animals aren't tortured.

[LGrace]

Mr. Maher,

Heartfelt thanks for using your position as a public figure to speak out about what you rightly call "surreal" and "torture."

I'm still dumbfounded by the double standards people can have--being horrified and outspoken about torture (of people), animal abuse (dogs), and environmental abuses and then thinking nothing of supporting cruel farming practices. People, every time you spend money, you vote. Vote for humane farming practices.

[Tulipp56]

My daughter showed me this tape narrated By Mr Baldwin, just before she became a vegetarian. I do eat meat, but much less than I did, hopefully that will help some, at least if we all cut our meat consumption down by say half. There should ALWAYS be humane ways to kill meat animals so they feel NO pain, and of couse there could be, but the government and the meat industry would not put them in place I am sure because it would cost more. I love you Bill, you have a great heart, and I miss you IMMENSELY because of this fucking writers strike, you certainly don't need them but I guess you are showing support, to me, it is like any union job, they give too little, but want too much. the writers of the network shows should get a demotion not a raise.I NEVER watch prime time normal tv, it totally sucks!
Anyhow, love you Bill, come back to us soon, keep on keeping on, as my other main man Ali g, would say, Respek.

[pamholt]

You're my hero Bill!

Now if we could just get you to really get behind our most peaceful, compassionate, honest and smart Presidential candidate: Dennis Kucinich, of course!

~STRENGTH THROUGH PEACE!~

He would be a President that everyone could aspire to be like. He truly lives right, as we all should!

[RnldJnsn]

Thank you Bill...a lonely voice of reason speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves. Human exploitation of animals is the holocaust of all holocausts; practically and karmically it has certainly condemned the human race to oblivion. And the meek will inherit the earth (or something). As Frank Zappa said, hydrogen is not the most common element in the universe, stupidity is.

[MrSpock]

Bill - You know we love you and miss your show. However, I have to take issue with you on two items:

1. Why did you pick on Al Gore in your Thanksgiving/Turkey post? It seems patently unfair. Is he responsible for all the ills in the world? I doubt it.

2. Why did you pick on Joe Wilson on your show for wearing a leather jacket? Just because you claim to be a champion of animal rights, doesn't give you license to insult your guests. And of all people, Joe Wilson!

Those were low blows and you don't need to do that. It is OK to be righteous, it's not OK to be self righteous.

Still friends? I know, we would. Just kidding you.

[webx]

I think what subject matter is being totally avoided here is how corporations literally took over the small farms and have not only dominated but monopolized every market conceivable. Whether it be hogs, chickens or turkeys, there was a time that a farmer could make a living selling 100-500 herd and somewhat keep our system in check by raising their "product" safely and within strict breeding and feeding guidelines.

Supply and demand was actually regulated via those methods. There also used to be a time that when a stamp of approval from the FDA meant everything in the world. Now that same stamp has about as much validity, reputation and honor behind it as a Ford Pinto hood emblem.

Consumers wanted cheaper prices and of course, placed higher demand on the markets. Corporations felt they could make a better living cutting out the middle man and do it themselves for even greater profit.

What used to be natural raising and breeding of livestock on an old country farm, became a mechanized assembly line of the torture you describe by the corporations.

The whole argument can be nut shelled in comparison to the same principle complaints of Walmart. People complain all of our jobs are going overseas to China and that we have this HUGE trade deficit. Workers are paid jack shi* and forced to work free overtime, but yet some of those same people cannot pass up the temptation of making multiple trips to the local Walmart just in case the happy bouncing smiley face hammered a couple dollars off that Cozy Chair with the vibration and headset option while they were sleeping.

To conclude this rambling, if there is somebody to blame in all of this, it is the American consumer. We would not have even a portion of this taking place had the consumer simply left the small independent farmers handle the chore of the livestock business rather than allowing yet again, another massive multi-billion dollar corporation take over another market because we wanted to shave a buck off a pound of hamburger.

[efarmer]

Wow. Sorry I stumbled on this so late and missed the dialog. I don't have time to read the entire seven pages of comments, but here's my two cents.

There is plenty of land in the world that is not conducive to growing crops. On my farm I have a hill that is highly erodable. It is perfect for maintaining in a grass sod, however, and raising cows and goats on it. They only eat grass, not grain. Their excrement that Bill feels so strongly about fertilizes my vegetable plot so that I don't need synthetic inputs.

So agriculturally speaking, I find animals are an important part of the picture.

Vegans and vegetarians can suggest that I plant trees on the hill instead and get fruit and nuts. That's not a bad idea but my research has shown that manure makes a better fertility input for a garden than just straight organic matter.

I'd be glad to hear from a vegetarian or vegan what their plan is for maintaining soil fertility for their vegetables in the absence of manure. Obviously there are artificial inputs, but they feed the plant and not the soil.

Obviously I'm talking about a small integrated farm situation here. If your issue is merely with the huge concentrated animal farms, then do your research and support a small local farmer. There are lots of us around.

[SPQA]

Well, well. Aren't we a bit tired of watching Planet of the Apes reruns? Or PETA inflammatory videos? This sect continues with their saga of cold-blooded shows stunning hardened meat eaters the world over. For us, they imply, and the rest of health conscious meat eaters are the leftovers from an earlier age.
Take it easy on the rest of us. I feel proud of being at the top of the food chain. So watching a video has pushed one or two buttons on you and brought remorse to your dinner table. I don't think your post will even put a dent on what's relatively moral about a 200+ years American traditional choice of meat, of which you affected a knowledge.
Why is it that you seem to find a connection between everything you do or we do with the "senatu populoque consentientibus"?
Enjoy your meal, whatever that may be. But the next time we see you holding what might seem to be a harmless cup of coffee, I will be more than happy to redirect you to a National Geographic link about the coffee workers conditions in the country of Turks and Caicos Islands and other banana republics. To wherever the flavor of the month has been taking your favorite brand of coffee to find that exotic blend they put on your macchiato this morning.
So as for the rest of you, vegan folks, find someone better for the President to stamp a pardon on. And while cattle, turkeys, chickens, pigs and lambs won"t go down quietly in your brain (please, Dr Lecter) allow me to give you plenty of food for thought with this truth: if it makes you all feel better, the most disturbing thing about George W. Bush is that he might be the only president we Americans deserve.
And what"s peculiarly twisted about choosing turkey instead of tofu, is that it"s is a lot faster, cheaper to raise than the grain you use on your meat substitutes and requires less human exploitation, let alone, child labor. Their cries will silence your lambs at night.

[sandiego]

Bill--I pray your comments make people stop buying meat. These beautiful, conscious creatures suffer so much pain from humans. The only wish I ever have is that all animals, birds and fish are left in peace and not raised to be tortured and killed. I've been a vegetarian for 35 years and I am very healthy, thank you very much. I love you Bill Maher. Sandiego

[chocco]

Just made my last Thanksgiving turkey. I bought a tofu turkey last year though, and it sucked. Should I just make stuffing and sides next year?? Help a vegan wannabe.

[vnetuolsbm]

Personally, I became a vegan 4 1/2 years ago. (A vegetarian 5 years ago.) At first I thought that I knew everything about what was healthy and good for my body. That of course was back when I ate animals and despised vegetarians. Now, I don't eat animals and feel as though there is always more to learn. ANYBODY who comments that it is healthy somehow to even ingest a morsel of animal flesh just doesn't get the whole picture and they need more time to learn. Unfortunately, time is running out for EVERYBODY and before long it will be too late to reverse the damage we are doing to our civilization. I suggest that if this topic peaks your interest, read one of these books: Healthy At 100, The Food Revolution, Diet for a New America by John Robbins. Not that John is the only author on the subject, but he just seems to have a way with words. Visit www.earthsave.org. or www.peta.org. But I think your best bet is just to do some more research on the subject. A vegan diet is scientifically proven to be the healthiest, most advantageous for the human body, hands down. I'm sorry but do your research. As for the person who commented that someone should make the first alternative Fast-Food restaurant, well hmmm. I've already got the plans underway. Just give me some time. And when it comes to market, it will blow the other fast-food joints away. Healthy fast-food? Who would have thought? Well, me. And eventually people will come. Just will take intelligence to kick in on their part. Why vegan fast-food chains. SOMEBODY has to. Bill. Thank You.

[LITU]

I am an old farm boy and 1/4 Anashinabeg to boot. I have raised my own meat most of my life. But I have NEVER killed one of my animals without giving thanks and doing the deed in the quickest, most compassionate way I know of. Eating meat and cruelty to animals is not correlative. These assholes in the videos deserve a piece of their own medicine.

[THP]

Amazing compilation of excuses for eating meat....they would eat me if they had the chance, etc... If you eat commercial meat you are part of the misery inflicted on animals probably as sentient as your dog and cat. No excuses! If you must continue eating meat then go to a health food store and pony up the extra cash to eat animals with more limited suffering.
It is not a big deal to stop eating meat as our family has done for 18 years and you don't need to mess with the meat substitutes, most of which are disappointing (most love beans, add a spoonful to your plate as a mini-side.) We eat humane eggs, tofu stirfry, spaghetti, mashed potatoes with onion/mushroom gravy, thick corn and potato chowder, minestrone soup, burritos, pizza, egg foo young, hash browns, pancakes and waffles, chili and cornbread, baked potatoes and vegetarian canned baked beans, cereals, trail mix, salads, lasagna, fried rice, dinner omelletes and fritattas, bean tacos, cheese enchilada's with some interesting meat subs like onions and green peppers, mannicoti, grilled cheese sandwhiches, tuna melts, cold pepper jack sandwhiches....
What you remove in meat you add back in with whole grains, spices, salsa, wider array/amount of vegetables (stop thinking of one vegetable per dinner....have asparagus and also almond green beans). Buy hummus and serve with chips at dinner time and consider that your protein. STOP worrying about protein! Tuna noodle caserole. Splurge on fish once or twice a week if that falls within your codes.
In and Out burger offers a tasty grilled cheese with grilled onions.

[mbaty]

You know, some people really need to eat meat to get all their nutrition, and high-protien diets can be very healthy if they don't get extreme, but we've got to treat our animals better. If an animal lives in misery and dies in horror, those chemicals are in that meat. Emotional states produce chemicals in our bodies and in the bodies of animals. We've got to respect the animals that provide our food, because we are what we eat. And as much as I might need to eat meat, I don't need that animal to suffer. I've noticed that even though Chicken is touted as a healthy alternative to red meat, very often it has more negative energy attached to it.

[enveg01]

First off, thank you Bill. Finally, a voice of reason and compassion.

What strikes me about these responses is that while vegetarians seem to respond thoughtfully and with facts, meat-eaters lash out and regurgitate baseless opinions and show a complete lack of respect for life.

Even though humans can eat meat, that doesn't necessarily mean that we should. We also used to keep slaves and sell women into marriages; tradition and our ability to do something are hardly justifications.

Even if you don't care about animal suffering, look at the national epidemics of obesity, heart disease and diabetes, and the massive abuses of the factory farming industry -- the undisputed number one contributor to global warming -- and ask yourself: why the hell are you still participating? Because you like the taste? How pathetic and self-centered.

And finally: even the FDA recognizes that a well-balanced vegetarian diet is completely healthy. So might I suggest we change the moniker from "meat-eaters" to "excusetarians".

[tchristin]

While I do not condone cruelty to animals, and I would like to see more oversight of the slaughter of animals for food. I can't reach the conclusion that has anything to do with being a vegetarian or that eating meat is somehow barbaric and unnatural.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the meat would eat me if it had the chance and would feel no guilt over doing so.

The fact is that eating a healthier diet, which would include less meat and more organically grown fresh vegetables and fruit is out of reach for most of the working class in this country.

Sorry Bill, I love your show and I have the utmost respect for you, but I'd rather see your very high profile locally grown, organic California rich ass self promoting human rights. Perhaps if there were better treatment of children in their formative years, there would be better treatment of animals by grown-ups.

[Orlando]

CONSUMPTION BOYCOTT NOW

We can stop the Occupation of Iraq, by reducing discretionary spending and letting it be known why.

For example, what if everyone stopped going to McDonalds and made it known that it was because of the Occupation?
McDonald"s sales go to $0 overnight with 13,000 US stores going dark within 3 months of no sales. This would have reverberations on local businesses, insurance companies and mortgage companies all the way to Wall Street. However, instead of targeting a specific business, target your personal spending.

Eliminate your unnecessary spending for-- Movies, $4.00 coffees, newspapers, magazines, non-essential items, vacations, new cars, electronics, hotels, entertainment, restaurants, etc. Create a goal of cutting $100/week from your budget and telling people why.

If you must spend, avoid corporate stores. If you are able to buy something from a small vendor do it. If you are able to do without, don"t buy it. Find hobbies other than consuming.

If everyone reduced their spending in all areas, until our troops were brought HOME (not re-deployed within the Middle East) the economic impact would put enormous pressure onto the banking-mortgage-insurance system to stop the war.

Your benefit
Take the money which you will save and use it to pay off credit cards, mortgages, existing car loans, college loans or to build a nest egg. If 10% of the population (30,000,000) could stop spending $100.00 a week and put it towards existing debt without acquiring more, it would take $3,000,000,000.00 A WEEK off of the banker"s books.

Be a patriot and quit consuming in order to bring our troops home from this illegal occupation NOW. If we all do it we can make a change in this world. The power rests with you, share this idea. CONSERVE.

[brando]

Thanks for this. Simply horrifying. Horrifying.

[zizyphus]

Birds are as loving, intelligent and wise as many people. I know. I have raised birds from eggs. The same goes for all "food animals". We insult their intelligence in order to kill them and eat them.

I am not sure when the light came on for me, about other animals and not eating them, but I can't remember the last time I ate an an animal. My cholesterol is low and I rarely get ill.

While it is true that humans evolved eating meat, it was not in the mass quantities that people consume today. Meat and its filth and decay are linked to many cancers. We are still evolving, and part of our future is to become less reliant on animal proteins.

By using meat as the centerpiece of every meal, people deprive themselves of the plant phytochemicals that promote health that are found in fresh herbs and vegetables.

Sadly, vegetarianism still seems like some far-out religion to people, I think, rather than the path to a sustainable future.

In fact, vegetarianism appears to be the most radical and positive thing we can do to reshape and restore our environment.

[USMC1980]

Maybe someone should just take these d-bags out and beat the "stuffing" out of them...see how much fun they think it is then.

[Hugo de Balsac]

i recall seeing a b-movie science fiction film when i was a young buck titled "Day of the Animals" where through some fluke of nature, animals begin to hunt down people and kill them off one by one, like in a "Friday the 13th" scenario. sure, it was hokey and implausible, but i LOVED this movie! and it's the kind of future i wish for if PETA gets all of it's wishes met and turns all of us into tofu grubbing soulless waifs, and the first people to get mauled are the very advocates who pushed so long and hard to make it so.

[RevMetheus]

So how much of its revenue does PETA spend on sheltering or feeding humans? If, as 90% of the posters on here like to say "We're all animals," then PETA should be lobbying for the ethical treatment of all humans, too, and not just animals. Does PETA consider itself NOT for the ethical treatment of humans? How about all the animal lovers who wanted to string Vick (the football guy) up? Are they willing to act on their convictions and string up the banks, or the government, or the corporations that so un-ethically treat us human animals? Or how about pushing for more welfare or more social programs?

Just once I'd like to see an animal activist group step forward for ALL animals, and not just the fuzzy, cute ones.

Yeah, I was appalled by the videos. Cruel, unjust societies create cruel, unjust workers. Who is surprised?

[mamacat]

Thank you Bill. Not just for this excellent blog, but for your whole spiel. Sometimes I don't agree with you, but you are still educational as well as entertaining.

[tallil2long]

I've killed quite a few deer and squirrel in my time (and goats, and snakes, and chickens, and even a couple of dogs), and haven't felt guilty in the least. Every single one of those animals would have been killed anyway: by the disease that follows the overpopulation accompanying lack of predators, or by the predators as soon as the animal was too old to evade its fate any longer. The means by which I killed them was less cruel by far than anything they'd have gotten in the wild.

The willful cruelty of the people in the video, though: that is disgusting. In my experience, a man who won't treat animals properly won't treat people properly either.