New Rule: No Shame in Being the Sorry Party

New Rule: If Mitt Romney, Karl Rove and Sarah Palin all think America has never done anything wrong, we must be doing something wrong. Look at them: an empty suit, an empty heart and an empty head. It looks like the news team on Good Morning Hell. And what they've been competing about lately is who would not apologize the most. America is infallible, and apologies are horrible things that must never, ever be given. Except by me when I make a joke about the Pope. "We're perfect -- deal with it," is their new handshake. But I say, what's wrong with America occasionally saying, "I'm sorry"? Because these are the three sorriest white people I've ever seen.

If in your eyes America can do no wrong, you should really look into Lasik surgery. There's the rational, mature assessment of our country: that it's a great nation -- especially if you like fried foods -- but it also has its faults. And then there's the Republican view: that it's perfect and pure in every way and it's always right all the time, just like Leviticus and Ronald Reagan.

If the founders were alive today, Republicans would be giving them shit because the Preamble to the Constitution says, "In order to form a more perfect union? Hello, it's already perfect! Why are you suggesting American apologetics, Ben Franklin?"

One of the things that makes Republicans furious about our current president is their idea that Obama is always apologizing for America's biggest mistakes. Unlike President Bush. Who was one of America's biggest mistakes.

In his first week as president, Obama did an interview with Arab TV in which he said, "We sometimes make mistakes. We have not been perfect." Thought crime! And then he went to Cairo and violated one of those absolute eternal rules the Right Wing is always making up out of thin air: "The president must never apologize on foreign soil. Lest our allies begin to doubt that we're assholes. "

But what did Obama actually say to make Karl Rove's head explode and the popcorn fly out? Cover your children's ears: When he was asked if he believed in American exceptionalism, he said he did, the same way "the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks in Greek exceptionalism." Yes, our so-called president actually said people in other countries might like their countries better. I was so shocked I nearly dropped the Bible I was using to help me masturbate into my gun.

In her farewell speech -- if only -- Sarah Palin kept telling us "how she's wired." Now I'm not a doctor, or an electrician -- but this is faulty wiring, this worldview that, in her words, "we should never apologize for our country." Really? Never? Not for slavery? Or Japanese internment camps, or if we tortured the wrong guy at Guantanamo? The Indians? Nothing, Sarah? "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"? Shouldn't John McCain apologize for... you?

When did intractability become a virtue? Mitt Romney's new book is called No Apology: The Case For American Greatness. You can find it at Borders, in the "Suck-Up" section. It's such a perfect title, combining paranoia with arrogance: "No one has yet asked me to apologize but, if someone ever does, fuck them."

Conservatives think apologizing is a sign of weakness. It's what liberal pussies do, when they're not busy driving electric cars and feeling empathy. When in fact it's the weak and the scared who are too insecure to apologize. Apologies are actually a sign of strength. That's why six-year-olds hate them.

In Rwanda, after a genocide that killed a million people, they set up special courts where people stood up and said, "Hey, sorry I macheted your entire family. My bad." And believe it or not, in most cases, that was enough. That's the power of an apology. A recent study reveals that doctors who are willing to apologize to patients for their mistakes are sued for malpractice about half as much as doctors who aren't willing to apologize.

Apologies can do great things, and they can enable great things. And if you still don't believe me, I have three words for you: make-up sex.

Bill Maher is the host of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, Fridays at 10:00 p.m. Eastern Time on HBO. Guests on this week's program include Jay Leno, Chuck Todd, Rep. Jan Schakowsky, Sam Harris and Jeremy Scahill.

Follow Bill Maher on Twitter: www.twitter.com/billmaher

Comments

[DianaMB]

WELL SAID! I am a big fan of apologies and hope of getting them. (not sure if that makes me co-dependent) I say "New Rule" all the time now thanks to you. We could never live without you. Keep it up! Diana

[igodess]

I love this man, watching this show is a part of my weekly "me" time.

As a mother, and someone who grew up in America but refused to raise her child there, I wonder where these sentiments came from to begin with? When I was a child, an american child, I was taught that when you do wrong you say Im sorry. When I was a teen, an american teen, I was taught that when you make a mistake you must make amends. Now I've never been an American adult, so I wonder at what point does the shift occur? At what point does an Im sorry, an I was wrong, a let me try to do better next time be removed from the vernacular or appear as a sign of weakness?

Listening, compromise and humility are staple characteristics of great leaders...I dont think its a coincidence that those who think America ought not to be sorry for anything, lead no more.

[MinnieC]

No wife, no children, just smoke will follow...Thank You Bill Maher!

[skatoolaki]

Beautifully said - as usual, you hit the nail right on the head, Bill. America is a great nation but it is run by human beings and we are not infallible. We make mistakes, we have made mistakes (the Japanese internment camps being a perfect example) and we will make mistakes in the future. We're great, yes, but we are a country of "humans" and our decisions are not always right or perfect. Believing in absolute perfection borders on arrogant derangement.

When a mistake is made, one should apologize for it. "I'm sorry" is never a sign of "weakness" because it takes a strong person to admit their faults, cop to being wrong, and apologize for their actions. It takes an even stronger person to learn and grow from said mistake(s) and try to do better the next time around.

If we never admitted to doing wrong and never tried to make up for or fix our mistakes, we would never grow as a nation or a people. I suppose that's just fine with people who live in some idealistic world of "keeping things pure - like they used to be". They believe in some past utopia of Christian-ruled, white picket fence life that never actually existed. They want things "the way they were", before secularism threatened to destroy their supposed "Christian-ruled government" (Thomas Jefferson must be spinning in his grave) and a dark-skinned, funny-named man was elected to the highest office of the nation.

[Cycadeoidea]

Hey Bill,

Awesome interviews with Jay-Z and Bill Moyers. Thank you!

[kroozer66]

You are so right on Bill--please keep up your strong voice!!! How come this country only worries about the deficit when it comes to helping the people of this nation? These two stupid wars that are costing millions a day and taking lives, this money could help fund our healthcare program. It is so sad these terrible lies are being spread about healthcare. we will be a better country if we get out of these wars and put the funds to healthcare--like other industrialized nations.

[MNinWI]

And reverse the tax credits given to the very rich!! Talk about welfare queens. I won't apologize for that remark.

[MerKat27]

Mr. Maher:
Thank you as always...this from a person who made the mistake of drinking from the 'wrong' (blacks only) drinking fountain on my first trip cross country after hs graduation & almost got killed...oh, but America is perfect!

[dwhite92]

Mr. Maher,

I totally agree with this article. America is definitely far from perfect and it does take a real human being to step up and admit it and I commend Obama for doing that on many occasions. I think that conservatives are just trying to make a last effort to save their party by mudsligging at liberals. It's sad our politics have gone away from the political aspect and just focus on who is talking about who on twitter.

[Antifascist-08]

Bill, this is one of your best! Loved it.

The whole thing about never showing "weakness" or apologizing is just a crude tactic that works if you not up against someone who knows better than you do. Its a part of what republicans adopted as their code of conduct under Gingrich and Rove. This is zero sum mentality. Perfect for the cowardly warriors of the right.

Its 1984.

[pigeonsailor]

I was enraged at what Tom Colburn said to that poor woman whose health insurance bailed on her, leaving her alone to take care of her brain-damaged husband. Enraged.

How dare he say people should rely on their neighbors and not on the government for help? What kind of world does he think we live in? (Oh, that's right: The C Street world, where people in power are God's "chosen ones.")

Why, oh why oh why oh WHY do so many American believe that the government is only here to protect us from the crazy boogeymen on the other side of the world, but not to help people in need? And why is it that so many people who believe this ARE people in some kind of need?

It's a tragedy.

Stand up for yourselves, people! Demand more from your government. And you better be loud and clear, because right now, it's the demands of the lobbyists that are being heard.

[Lee Indianer]

But they say the American Government is bad, concerning health care, and anything else that the U.S. government does concerning helping people. But they are enthusiastically for enhanced interrogation, and if we question that, we are un-American!!!

[phonyvet]

Show up at town hall health care events with a bunch of friends carrying colorful plastic waters pistols. Laugh at the gun-toting fools.

[skatoolaki]

Sadly, that might get you shot. These people are nuts; I'd be afraid to provoke them too much while they're armed.

[MNinWI]

You're right-never get in a pissing match w/ a skunk. We have to make them irrelevant by using our brains & not force.

[GROGnads]

Thank you Bill Maher, on continuing to present, and pointing out with such, the utter imbecilic diatribes from these people of whom aren't even relevant to the discussions of which they continually obfuscate and deter, with their rantings and lunacy espousals. I fully agree with you in regards to there being a need, nay, THE requirement on yet a new "Party" creation with such as "Independent Progressives" that are disassociated from either of the major ones that we currently have on this. I fully lay the blame of our societal ills on BOTH of these of which we are stuck with empowered to date, for whom their concerns were mainly to pay "lip service", in lieu of actually performing their duties as prescribed and accorded for what they had been elected for that. Perhaps, everyone could contact their elected officials to clearly state that if these don't care enough to work together on creating a solution amicable for their constituents, excluding Corporations et al, THEN they shall "recall" those unwilling to participate or contribute for thus and REPLACE them with someone who would. The first week they return and haven't announced their willingness on doing just this, starting the second week, commence legal proceedings to haul them away for "dereliction of duty" and as many other indicative or indictments for "malfeasance" that can become imaginable. Be creative and have some fun at their expense while you're at it eh?

[LittlePurpleUSA]

"I was so shocked I nearly dropped the Bible I was using to help me masturbate into my gun. "

hahahahhahahaha

[diver77]

Mr. Romney is a decent person and certainly not an empty suit. He has morals and a fine family. Shame on you socialists for your snarky and vile comments about him.

[Antifascist-08]

You're kidding, right?

He has a moral and ethical rap sheet as long as your arm.

[igodess]

Im pretty sure (ok maybe more like hoping) that that was sarcasm