Let Bush Be Reagan

New Rule: For the next 18 months, let Bush be Reagan. A completely dissociative personality who lets the real work of the nation go on elsewhere, while he sits behind his desk and hums. I don't think the problem is that Bush lives in a bubble. I say make the bubble thicker. Use the armor we can't get to the troops. For example, on this whole "bomb Iran" thing. Let's not, and just tell him we did.

Who's going to tell him the truth? Rove? Gonzales? Rummy? Scooter? Harriet Miers? It's like a haunted house. The douchebag cupboard is bare.

According to the Times of London, the Air Force has drawn up plans for massive strikes against 1,200 targets in Iran. The plan doesn't just call for eliminating Iran's nuclear program, but for taking out its entire military in one blow. Can Bush destroy another country's whole army? Why not? He did it to ours.

We'll get Condi to slip him a note. "Mr. President, Iran is free!" And he'll scribble some garbled bullshit on it, like "let freedom Purple Rain" and that will be that.

Mission Accomplished. Oh, and the astronauts you sent to Mars just called. They said to say "hi."

He'll never know. According to a classified report on White House crowd management, protesters are not only kept out of Bush's sight at rallies, they must be kept where he can't see them from his car. Frat boys are recruited to chant "USA! USA!" over hecklers. Bush has also been told that your approval rating is like your golf score, and the asshole with the lowest one wins.

He won't even mind. The only way they got him to Iraq this week was by promising he was going to Australia. It's like getting the dog in the car for his shots.

I'm telling you, we can totally get away with this Iran thing. It's not like he's one of those presidents who reads the paper.

Bill Maher is the host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" which airs every Friday at 11PM.

Comments

[divadarya]

01:57 PM on 09/10/2007

Funny if not so damn true....
The average red-state American seemed to like Bush because, just like him, they might have mistaken "Australia­" for Austria in a public speech to word leaders,to­o. I mean OPEC, APAC, what's the difference­?
Just like Marion Berry proved anyone can be Mayor of D.C., Bush proves that any moron can be President.

[IMPRISONBUSH]

10:04 PM on 09/09/2007

EVERY ONE IS LOOKING FOR " REAGAN " FOR WHAT:

HE TOOK THE " AIR CONTROLLER­S UNION AND BROK IT UP STARTING A TREND FOR OTHER FIRM TO GEY RIDE OF UNIONS AND CUT PAYS.

REAGAN: PUT THE RUSSIANS IN THE POOR HOUSE WITH GIS MILITARY SPENDING AND WE ALMOST FELL IN TO.

REAGAN: STARTED THE ( BLACK WATER ), SOLD DRUGS TO AMERICAN SCHOOL CHELDREN FOR GUNS FOREBALS.
STOOD TRAIL ( REALY SLEEPING ST THE TRAIL ) AS OLIE NORTH WAS CONVICED FOR SELLING DRUGS FOR GUNS THEN TOOK A JOB WITH FOX " WHATS THE LIE TODAY "
REMEMBER " THE NEW WORLD ORDER " IT COULD BE IN PLACE NOW GET A MEXICAN OR CANADA PASSPORT NOW THE U.S.A MAY BE A THING OF THE PAST.?

[IzaakSzerman]

07:51 PM on 09/09/2007

Any kind of joking about this M*therf*ck­er Bush is annoying me.

Joking about him is granting him way too much standing!

This insult to all decency should be taken to an asbestos cloud for deep breathing exercises. AND THAT'S NO JOKE!

[clarenceswinney]

06:16 PM on 09/09/2007

Who would want to repeat this record of Reagan
Too long to publish here
google search
clarence swinney
+ Reagan Firsts
+ reagan scandals
+ reagan vs clinton

[racetoinfinity]

04:16 PM on 09/09/2007

Bush is still the sock puppet, and Cheney the puppeteer 7 years later - that much is basically the same.

[lkf]

04:10 PM on 09/09/2007

if they do bomb iran and thus starting another war ---could they suspend elections?

[prochange]

03:57 PM on 09/09/2007

I personally would prefer if the American people would come out of the bubble.
First, everybody waved their little flags and followed every move of the shrub in awe.

Now, finally people start to wake up and at least write in blogs against Bush & Co.
However, the problem is not Bush. The problem is the system, the American public who voted for him twice and is not out in the streets by the millions to protest everything­, what is going on.

I tried the protest thing every time Bush is in town. I can only confirm that Bush never sees the protesters­. We were designated a small, blocked off area where we were allowed to walk in circles under the watchful eye of many police and FBI men. The area was right in front of the hotel Bush was having a fundraiser­. However, his motorcade drove through some back streets and delivered him to a service entrance of the hotel. We never got to even see the Limousine.

It is easy to put all the blame on Bush. It is much more difficult to face your own responsibi­lity in the disaster.

[anotherbozo]

03:10 PM on 09/09/2007

Beautifull­y on-target, Bill. I got squeamish when you mocked the Iraqi parliament­, our own monster, after all. But this is funny, qualm-free­!

[GDC]

12:33 PM on 09/09/2007

What scares me is how similar this election cycle is to the last one in 2004. Bill is still focusing soley on his arch-enemy Bush instead of focusing on, and scrutinizi­ng the current Democrats in the race and making sure the right candidate is chosen.

The deinition of insanity is trying something the same way over and over and expecting a different outcome.

At this point, the Democrats look like they are going allow Hillary to get the nomination and sustain the status quo. Then of course we'll hear more of the same kind of complainin­g for 4-8 years like we are now.

I have an idea. If you want to see change in how things are done, how about actually uniting behind a candidate who represents change AND is electable.

the only two candidates who match that descriptio­n are Barack Obama and maybe John Edwards. Gore would meet it if he was running and didn't change from the Gore we see today back to the Gore in 2000.

The primaries are so important. If you screw up in the primary and end up with the wrong candidate, you can't go back and fix it for four years.

And the impeachmen­t idea is laughable. Which Democrats are gonna be able to get that done? The same ones who cave to Bush's whim on every issue? That's an insult to the intelligen­ce of the readers on this site.

Before you go off on one of your rants filled those little Repuke and Faux news things that are supposed to be clever, I am NOT a Republican or a Democrat. I do not support the war. I am not a blind Bush sheep with his head in the sand.

I am not only registerin­g Democrat for the primary to vote for Brack Obama, but I am volunteeri­ng for his campaign as well.

However, if you screw up and give Hillary the nomination­, I'm out and you're on your own.

[no1noozno1cares]

10:59 AM on 09/09/2007

Please do not send him to Maine,the vacation season ended Labor Day.

[VictorLudorum]

04:07 AM on 09/09/2007

According to the Times of London, the Air Force has drawn up plans for massive strikes against 1,200 targets in Iran. The plan doesn't just call for eliminatin­g Iran's nuclear program, but for taking out its entire military in one blow. Can Bush destroy another country's whole army? Why not? He did it to ours.


THE DAY US ATTACKS A BONIFIDE KABUL PLAN COUNTRY.TH­E LEAST THAT HAPPENS IS THAT IT WILL DIVIDE THE WORLD AGAIN

[VictorLudorum]

04:04 AM on 09/09/2007

Who's going to tell him the truth? Rove? Gonzales? Rummy? Scooter? Harriet Miers? It's like a haunted house. The douchebag cupboard is bare.

[ksecus]

01:43 AM on 09/09/2007

Bush says give BinLaden a tax cut. He'll turn himself into authoritie­s, strap himself to a table and administer himself a deadly dose of drugs.
Bush says tax cuts fix everything­. Theyll even make binladen give himself the death penalty. Yep. Thats true George.

[HOORGANVISOR]

06:32 PM on 09/08/2007

By the way, there is nothing anyone can do to usher in the second coming of Christ or prevent it frm happening. Christians won't be around anyways to help Israel defeat its enemies. Only God will ultimately be able to help Israel since the Jews are God's original chosen people. We can support Israel. But we won't be fighting any of its wars. We'll eventually be in Heaven when the serious action begins.

[HOORGANVISOR]

06:29 PM on 09/08/2007

It's good to have people like Bill out there that can write anything and not be put in prison for it or an insane asylum. To compare Bush to Reagan should be considered a compliment since Reagan was one of the most under-rate­d Presidents of all time by his opponents. But I'm sure his opponents like paying less taxes and having a military that can still keep most of the bad guys from coming to America because they are fighting are people overseas. I bet Bill still thinks Clinton was a great President despite the facts that he allowed the terrorists that would murder over 3000 on 9/11 to remain in America when they should have been deported in 1999 for violation of their visas, his letting bin Laden live when he could have had him killed, and his helping China become more of a threat to the world. If an "intellige­nt" President endagers the world like Clinton did, give me more "dumb" ones like Bush who believe that America should be protected from terrorists and remain the economic powerhouse it has been for decades. I guess Bill forgot about how Clinton forced over a million people in the millitary to quit and how the numbers are coming back under Bush. But when you're into a gooid rant, why let the facts get in the way?