Bill Maher

Bill Maher

Posted: September 6, 2007 10:04 AM

Let Bush Be Reagan

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New Rule: For the next 18 months, let Bush be Reagan. A completely dissociative personality who lets the real work of the nation go on elsewhere, while he sits behind his desk and hums. I don't think the problem is that Bush lives in a bubble. I say make the bubble thicker. Use the armor we can't get to the troops. For example, on this whole "bomb Iran" thing. Let's not, and just tell him we did.

Who's going to tell him the truth? Rove? Gonzales? Rummy? Scooter? Harriet Miers? It's like a haunted house. The douchebag cupboard is bare.

According to the Times of London, the Air Force has drawn up plans for massive strikes against 1,200 targets in Iran. The plan doesn't just call for eliminating Iran's nuclear program, but for taking out its entire military in one blow. Can Bush destroy another country's whole army? Why not? He did it to ours.

We'll get Condi to slip him a note. "Mr. President, Iran is free!" And he'll scribble some garbled bullshit on it, like "let freedom Purple Rain" and that will be that.

Mission Accomplished. Oh, and the astronauts you sent to Mars just called. They said to say "hi."

He'll never know. According to a classified report on White House crowd management, protesters are not only kept out of Bush's sight at rallies, they must be kept where he can't see them from his car. Frat boys are recruited to chant "USA! USA!" over hecklers. Bush has also been told that your approval rating is like your golf score, and the asshole with the lowest one wins.

He won't even mind. The only way they got him to Iraq this week was by promising he was going to Australia. It's like getting the dog in the car for his shots.

I'm telling you, we can totally get away with this Iran thing. It's not like he's one of those presidents who reads the paper.

Bill Maher is the host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" which airs every Friday at 11PM.

 
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Maybe Bush will appoint that girl Miss Teen USA contestant from SC to an advisory position.
We won't be able to hurt anyone then because most of us won't have maps and therefor can't find anybody to bomb.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 09:07 AM on 09/07/2007

As long as you take away the hotline or hook it up to a fake Norad I say go for it. It scares me (that makes Bush my terrorist) that he still has 500 days to destroy the rest of the world like he has destroyed America.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:58 AM on 09/07/2007
- coloneblog I'm a Fan of coloneblog 4 fans permalink

Put him in a bubble; a thicker bubble? I was thinking a front line position in Sadr City, or better yet, jail; Guantanamo. The international courts should immediately file charges against him and Cheney for crimes against humanity. That would effectively tie-up those 2 nutheads for the next 16 months and beyond.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:58 AM on 09/07/2007

Hey, the Shrub's been giving us a very bad Reagan imitation from Day One.

Haven't noticed? Well, it's not like he has any talent. At all. Except for screwing up.

What we really need is a bit of sleight-of-hand so he appoints competent people as aides instead of more give-us-the-businessmen. Or maybe hypnosis would work.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:58 AM on 09/07/2007
- SadieYates I'm a Fan of SadieYates 3 fans permalink

ok...let's just take back the authority to wage war, bring the troops home and tell him we are still "kicking ass in Iraq". then when we lock his sorry ass away for the rest of his miserable life-we will tell him he is on a solitary spiritual journey because of all his wise decisions on behalf of the American and Iraqi people.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:56 AM on 09/07/2007
- badtimes I'm a Fan of badtimes 11 fans permalink

TOO FUNNY!
Thanks for starting my day with a laugh.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:48 AM on 09/07/2007

I think the Iran situation is not a laughing matter. They pose a REAL threat unlike other countries!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:48 AM on 09/07/2007

Hey Bill, as usual you're right on the money. It sounds a lot like the "yes-men" who were telling Adolf Hitler in his bunker during the last days of the war (II) in Europe, "We're winning, we're winning.". Of course he still wanted to kill off the entire German population because they were ungrateful.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:38 AM on 09/07/2007
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Bill you are the greatest!

How can one serious about the truth comment on one of you're blogs?

All one is left with is to laugh and cry and learn at the same time. The only different thing is: how much laugh mixed with how much cry? The learning is always fresh and abundant! Thanks Bill we really need to hear from you!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:30 AM on 09/07/2007
- Dansden I'm a Fan of Dansden 11 fans permalink

So quickly we forget....

If you wish to make an impression on Jr. you have to make an impression on Poppa BUSH! Everything Jr. has done has been to gain some respect from Poppa BUSH because Jr. knows who REALLY holds his allowance and who has ALWAYS bailed him out of his 'bully' bravado debacles!!!!

Do not march on the White House to get the attention of a compulsive obsessive adolescent;
Do not start impeachment procedures on a mental midget;
Do not force his 'gang' to leave the neighborhood;
JUST GO TO HIS POPPA'S HOUSE AND SURROUND THE ESTATE PEACEFULLY WITH SIGNS AND PLACARDS AND BILLBOARDS THAT SAY HIS SON IS NO LONGER ALLOWED INTO OUR WHITE HOUSE! UNLESS YOU STOP JR. FROM 'PISSING' ON OUR CONSTITUTION AND CRAPPING ON OUR ECONOMY WE WILL HAVE TO EXPOSE ALL OF YOUR SECRETS TO THE WHOLE WORLD!

That should impress Poppa to take responsibility for his errant child who has terrorized our neighborhood with his 'bully bravado' and force Poppa to cut off his allowance- that will get Jrs. attention when Poppa pulls his chain and threatens his allowance.
Sometimes neighbors have to pull together and tell the 'family' that they must MOVE or face the consequences if they value their neighborhood and their sense of self-respect at all!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:21 AM on 09/07/2007
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yea, remember when Poppa had to give George a couple of bucks when the collection plate was passed around at Reagans funeral at the National Cathedral? He didn't have a buck to his name. Poppa came right to the rescue, on camera.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:53 PM on 09/08/2007
- Jess27 I'm a Fan of Jess27 2 fans permalink

The article was funny except when you said that he destroyed our Army. The Army may be stretched thin and exhausted but not destroyed by any means, sir. You shouldn't insult my brothers and sisters like that. I hate the war in Iraq and the possible war with Iran; I surely don't want to go to Iran. I hate Bush just like any patriotic American should, but you should never disrespect the people in the Army.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 08:09 AM on 09/07/2007

I just got an email from a cousin in Australia and they said quote, "Hi Richard just thought you might like to know your President thinks he is in Austria. They keep playing over the radio how he is thinking Austria for their support in Iraq. Could this guy be any more of an embarrassment to out country?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:53 AM on 09/07/2007

Reagan was suffering from Alzheimers while he was still in office- it was obvious. W is suffering from either continued alcohol abuse or alchol related dementia. His IQ is probably nothing to write home about to begin with. DICKS gang has been running the country since NIXON. Are they now black mailing the Dems in someway for them to bend at evey whim ? Are we oblivious to the reality that the man man already has his finger on the button.
I can in no way fathom why the DEMS are tapping their toes and running their left hand under the stall wall to encourage the gang.
We need another media outlet to have the balls to bring down this presidency too. This last 35 yrs has been th eexact opposite of what we had invsioned it would be in the late'60's & 70's. Why are we still fighting for equality, personal rights, the earth- these all started as small groups but became nationally known & heard groups.Do you know the name of the Pres. of NOW. How many can anyone name since their "founding Sister"?
We have been actively and effectively nullified since Nixon.But who exactly has been plying behind the curtain ?
All media should be doing the Woodward & Berstein on this administration- this is the type of 'dog fight' I want to watch. You guys have the resources now put it to work. We need the media to prove some of them remember that they are part of our american freedom, not just announcers of the agenda.
IT TOOK A NEWSPAPER TO BRING DOWN A PRESIDENCY ONCE- LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
CAVE ADSUM !!!

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:23 AM on 09/07/2007

Waiting to see if Thompson will be the next "ACTING President". Any hollow vessel will do. Isn't that what it's all about. Replacing the characters in the National Sit Com?

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:17 AM on 09/07/2007

Well, you cant have nuclear weapons sitting in some depot in tyhe middle of nowhere can you?

I was on a nuclear capable ship in the 1980's when they always said "we can never confirm or deny the presecne..."

The officer in charge of the transfer was relieved most likely, not because the weapons moved, but because we FOUND OUT that the weapons moved.....

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:13 AM on 09/07/2007
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