Let Bush Be Reagan

New Rule: For the next 18 months, let Bush be Reagan. A completely dissociative personality who lets the real work of the nation go on elsewhere, while he sits behind his desk and hums. I don't think the problem is that Bush lives in a bubble. I say make the bubble thicker. Use the armor we can't get to the troops. For example, on this whole "bomb Iran" thing. Let's not, and just tell him we did.

Who's going to tell him the truth? Rove? Gonzales? Rummy? Scooter? Harriet Miers? It's like a haunted house. The douchebag cupboard is bare.

According to the Times of London, the Air Force has drawn up plans for massive strikes against 1,200 targets in Iran. The plan doesn't just call for eliminating Iran's nuclear program, but for taking out its entire military in one blow. Can Bush destroy another country's whole army? Why not? He did it to ours.

We'll get Condi to slip him a note. "Mr. President, Iran is free!" And he'll scribble some garbled bullshit on it, like "let freedom Purple Rain" and that will be that.

Mission Accomplished. Oh, and the astronauts you sent to Mars just called. They said to say "hi."

He'll never know. According to a classified report on White House crowd management, protesters are not only kept out of Bush's sight at rallies, they must be kept where he can't see them from his car. Frat boys are recruited to chant "USA! USA!" over hecklers. Bush has also been told that your approval rating is like your golf score, and the asshole with the lowest one wins.

He won't even mind. The only way they got him to Iraq this week was by promising he was going to Australia. It's like getting the dog in the car for his shots.

I'm telling you, we can totally get away with this Iran thing. It's not like he's one of those presidents who reads the paper.

Bill Maher is the host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" which airs every Friday at 11PM.

Comments

[hrhjuli]

Very funny because it was so perspicacious.

Truly the only remedy short of a frog marching Bush and Cheney to the Haig.

Juliane
Santa Fe NM

[Meah]

Is it permissible for a VP to act as a president if the president is supposedly doing his job. Is there any precedent set or law that states that the VP cannot make decisions under any circumstances about anything if the president is in good health and is a sitting president. Can an elected president abandon his responsibilities and let the VP make decisions any time he wants? I mean legally? This vice president was chosen by Bush. Cheney sort of nominated himself to Bush. He has taken a role in this country for which he was not elected. It is like having a madman in the White House and he can just do what he wants anytime he wants. How can this be? Cheney decides he wants to bomb Iran? And WHY is the Congress not screaming about these threats?
Sorry Bill. None of it is funny to me.

[Ranta]

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

H.L. Mencken (1880-1956

[PADDYWHACK]

Ranta I've never heard this before,but it beats the crap out of vague biblical prophesy.E­ven better we didn't have to wait eons for it to come true.

[Jeffin90019]

Sounds like a fine idea, Bill. We can pump FNN (Fake News Network) in the palace - er, sorry, the White House - and he can get all the good news he craves. I do fear, however, that he will invade Iraq as his parting F-you gesture to America and the world. Sadly, no one can stop him since there is no organized opposition to his reign and the GOP would rather lose the country than turn their back on Nero and support America.

[BPCentrisAmerican]

Didn't the Japanese try that with Pearl Harbor in 1941? Few people remember that the US military was seriously degraded by the Depression and a lacked visionary military leaders. The attack on Peal was designed to cripple the American navy and destroy our will to fight in one action, but only consolidated American resolve. The Japanese had been building up their own military for years, but lacked oil for it's war machine, since FDR imposed an oil inbargo on Japan in retaliation for their brutality in China.

During the FOX debates last night, Duncan Hunter declared that an attack on Iran would be comparable to the Israeli attack on the Iraqi reactor in the 80's Their is no comparison and I can't believe Hunter is that stupid. Attack Iran and we will rase the ire of 72 million, mostly pro western Muslims in a country 3 times as large as Iraq. The stupidity and arrogance of such an action boggles the mind. Many of Iran's research facilities are located under universities, Tehran has a population of 15 million people. Such an action would almost certainly go Nuclear making the US truly the most dangerous nation. The US is the only nation on earth to use the atomic bomb are we going to do it again? If Bush is truly contemplating such and action to save his legacy, than he and Cheney are lunatics and must be removed from office.

[Aanya]

Maher for President!

Evidently the smartest human alive in this entire country. This would work perfectly!

[jpshotwheels]

Bill Love your show, watch it or Tivo every Friday night, so glad you are back.

I didn't like Reagan either, I was on employment one year and he changed the tax laws that you had to pay tax on unemployment. My tax people didn't report it although I gave them the paperwork, I got a letter 2 years later from the IRS, that I owed $2700.00 over a lousy $300.00, that SOB, cost me $2400.00. I had to beg the IRS not to take my whole paycheck and work out a plan to pay it off. I was a single parent raising one child.

Reagan also ticked me off, because the Dumb Ass wouldn't address the AIDS issue. Common sense should have told him it would get into the Blood Supply. Aids originally was a hetro-sexual disease, whether you were gay or not, it shouldn't have mattered. Reagan has alot of blood on his hands too, so no to let Bush be Reagan for the next 18 months.

[Dolphinfan65]

Yeah, I remember that too!!! Taxes on unemployme­nt....... What BS!!!

[jpshotwheels]

Your already without a job and they want to tax you on 6 months of unemployment. I think we should take every single Politician in American, put them out of job, and make them live on minimum wage. We can all sit back and watch them lose their homes, their fancy cars, struggle to feed their children, struggle to see them pay their bills. Then the middle class can sit back and watch them suffer like they have made us to suffer. We can change the rules and laws to help everyone gain the American Dream that once was. Shame on all of them.

[Knowbetter]

Sorry, but a $300 tax debt does NOT turn into $2700 in two years. Mathematically impossible. I've been in the tax business for over 20 years, and this statement is either a gross exaggeration or acomplete fabrication.

[Dolphinfan65]

I say, we just IGNORE him!!! and plan for the FUTURE, without, him. To be truthful, when Dumba leaves. The people from both partys, ain't saying much to me. And the News Media, is totally, ignoring The canidates, that are trying to SAY something. Like Kucinach, and Ron PAUL.
Great points Bill, but we need a deeper, MEDIA, to make your points stick.

[dragonswizardz]

Great idea Bill! We lived in DC during Reagan's reign as benevolent king and, believe me, the snoring was loud! As a matter of fact, we had friends who knew people in his administration and they corroborated the fact that he slept through his entire administration. So, allowing Bush to caricature Regan is a superb idea. Cheap too ~ just think of the energy costs the country will save!

[julia06]

Great post, Bill.

Always funnier than hell!!

Omg, this county needs more like you.

From your biggest Real Time fan in No Cal.

[Izadora]

Hi Bill, love you. Better than you it's only
you.
But Lewis Black will do!

PS. who said the best "perfume" come in small
bottle?

[givemycountryback]

Reagan and Bush can be the new Dumd and Dumber and that goes for their first ladies too. I heard Nancy Reagan thought someone should walk behind her carrying her purse, like the queen. and I get so sick of that phony fake smile on Lauras face. She must be on drugs to be married to that nitwit.

[Mekarri]

I wonder what it must be like to married to that toad, bush. I wish we weren't the only ones paying attention. I listen to my family, co workers and just people in general and so many of them don't have a clue as to what is going on and what's worst they don't even care. The average American doesn't even realize what dangerous position this madman is putting us in. The world is not going to let this idiot invade any country he wants to. They are trying to give the American people time to get our shit together and clean up our mess. I hope the rest of the free world know that we do not approve or condone the behavior of this idiot president and company. But regardless they are going to take action and that is what scare me. So America needs to wake up because ALL OF OUR ASSES ARE ON THE LINE. This our country and we shouldn't let this madman paint a big red target sign on it. What are we going to do? What can we do?

[Mekarri]

Bill you are like a breath of fresh air. I really enjoy you. I wish you was on every night instead of just Fridays. Bill could you have Rosie O on your show?

[dapaul]

It is not Bush who is the driving force behind attacking Iran. It is the same old group of neo-cons who wanted Bush to go after Iraq. Even if Bush was kept completely in the dark, the neo-cons like Kristol, Perle etc. would still be hatching plans to attack Iran.

[minnieszoo]

Bush was obsessed with getting even with Saddam for wanting GHWB killed.

"He tried to kill my Daddy."

All of his cronies saw profits to be made by attacking Iraq. Saddam was the carrot held before Bush and he signed off on it.

"Daddy", former head of the CIA could more than take care of himself.

[monarchmaniac]

That might actually save our country!!

[BigDan]

I see your point, Bill, but believe the angle that Bush and his men are NOT stupid, and that this is "planned chaos" and endless fake "war on terror".