Let Bush Be Reagan
New Rule: For the next 18 months, let Bush be Reagan. A completely dissociative personality who lets the real work of the nation go on elsewhere, while he sits behind his desk and hums. I don't think the problem is that Bush lives in a bubble. I say make the bubble thicker. Use the armor we can't get to the troops. For example, on this whole "bomb Iran" thing. Let's not, and just tell him we did.
Who's going to tell him the truth? Rove? Gonzales? Rummy? Scooter? Harriet Miers? It's like a haunted house. The douchebag cupboard is bare.
According to the Times of London, the Air Force has drawn up plans for massive strikes against 1,200 targets in Iran. The plan doesn't just call for eliminating Iran's nuclear program, but for taking out its entire military in one blow. Can Bush destroy another country's whole army? Why not? He did it to ours.
We'll get Condi to slip him a note. "Mr. President, Iran is free!" And he'll scribble some garbled bullshit on it, like "let freedom Purple Rain" and that will be that.
Mission Accomplished. Oh, and the astronauts you sent to Mars just called. They said to say "hi."
He'll never know. According to a classified report on White House crowd management, protesters are not only kept out of Bush's sight at rallies, they must be kept where he can't see them from his car. Frat boys are recruited to chant "USA! USA!" over hecklers. Bush has also been told that your approval rating is like your golf score, and the asshole with the lowest one wins.
He won't even mind. The only way they got him to Iraq this week was by promising he was going to Australia. It's like getting the dog in the car for his shots.
I'm telling you, we can totally get away with this Iran thing. It's not like he's one of those presidents who reads the paper.
Bill Maher is the host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher" which airs every Friday at 11PM.
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once again bill, great commentary. Love your show, at least someone in america is having a real debate on issues.
Completely agree, Reagan was not only a lame duck for the last half of his presidency, but just lame. I think it their god's retribution, or just karma, laws of attraction swinging the cosmic pendulum of social justice back to a man who was literally worshiped like a golden calf by his delusional followers turning into vegetable before his adoring disciples on a very public stage.
The man did not know where he was, ironically like Bush. In Reagan's defense, it was medical. Sadly Bush's....
Texas Booger Sugar??? Hahahahah,
That explains it.
The only problem is, Cheney signs Bush's name for him so it doesn't matter if W. is sealed away. We've got to Kucinich Cheney first.
Wow still 18 months to go! So much for Hillary's plan to start running things by febuary 5th 2008. Thanks for the reminder Bill, it is real swell of you. Now about those eighteen months I am not sure you idea will serve Hillary well though - after these twenty questions it seems she may be submitting ten a week for awhile. Tuning out by Bush now may just keep her from the higher level strategies and thinking Bush has been keeping close for the american people (like an NFL playbook) and their defense. Bill Maher, elsewhere on your thinking >> Is America finally able to lead with just speaking softly and without a big stick?
I just do not have a positive thought about Reagan.
I live in Calif and I remember when sleeping boy let hundreds of people out of the mental health hospitals because he needed to put the money somewhere else. Those people walked around lost and unable to think.
They were robbed, raped, murdered and of course became street people.
If Reagan had of been awake and somebody had
screamed, NANCY WANTS WAR, he would have been off and running.
I feel that these two clowns, Bush and Cheney are going to take us to war with Iran.
This clown Pres won't even talk to those he
plans on bombing.
Bush and Cheney should be hung in Time Square.
I saw a bumber sticker the other day and it said
FRODO FAILED, BUSH HAS THE RING. Enough said.
I love you Bill.
You are the Perfect Man.
See you Friday night.
Judith
MAHER and NEWKIRK
2008
Bill, this is the funniest damn thing I have read in a very long time.
You still got it.
I just wish it wasn't so damn true!
"Haunted House. The douchebag cupboard is bare." Great Halloween tip.
Connsider that Reagan was an actor and so is Thompson. Despite the right's disdain of Hollywood liberals, here are two elected officials who were/are actors. Bush himself plays the role of the Texas tough guy. This is what the right wants, someone up there to act out their fantasy of the tough, no-non-sense Republican. That is why when we elect these types, we get individuals whose reality-relatedness is in question.
With regad to the Hollywood liberals, my sense is that these people have a real sensitivity---isn't that what good acting is about---to the problems facing many Americans. I don't see them trying to play out some fantasy role when they speak about the issues. They are truly concerned and outraged.
Remember, it was actors and actresses who made up a big part of the opposition to Hitler.
Laughed my ass off--especially at the part about the dog going to the vet. In the depressing aftermath of the bloodthirsty insanity on display at the GOP debate last night, I needed this. Thanks.
Bill,
Your thinking is so pre-9/11. Don't you realize freedom is not free? We fight them there so we don't have to fight them here.
The world cannot stand by and let Saddam, oops - I mean, Mahmoud acquire WMD. We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud. Besides, the Iraqi, oops - I mean, Iranian people are so unhappy that we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.
And, the Iranian insurgency is in its last throes (oops, that comes later!) But, anyway, they hate us for our freedom!
USA! USA! USA!
P.S. Did I miss anything. Of course, I did. Did I mention that I am wearing the flag on my lapel and have a "support the troops" sticker on my bumper.
Where's MinneapolisMike when you need him?? -ralph
Jack: ROFLMAO! Thanks for the good laugh!
But, if you ROFLMAO, the terrorists win!
oh jackie, you can't be serious...
I love your post. I cant get your show anymore because I live in Michigan and everything is so bad I had to drop HBO.Cant you go on something else? You are so right about Bush, but I still think the man is dangerous and should be put away somewhere. Either a prison or a mental hospital. He is so stupid. I cant believe this man has been allowed to destroy our country. He was never elected. Daddy Bush fixed both elections and I am so afraid they will try to shove Jed Jeb whatever his name is down our throat. Or worse, one of the skanky twins.
Brother Jeb functioned as a GOP governor. Functioned is the operative word.
Let's hope he doesn't base his policies on news paper articles and opinion polls.
God Bless President Reagan.
Ghod help you.
Yup,he shore could wave and smile good! And acted his way to and in the White House.
and f*cked up California good too
BILL - can you please get General Wesley Clark on Real Time?
Ditto, second that!
Third it.
Or, we could tell him it's the year 2020 and Iraq and Iran are shining democratic models, and tell him he is known far and wide as the little brain who could. Ya know how he worries about his legacy and how history will view him.
Seriously though, may God help us all. Sorry about that Bill;)
um I dunno..my dogs see right through me when I do the shot thing.
however...
Great post Bill. You continue to amaze and delight. Can't wait for friday night(as usual)!
((((BIG HUGS))))
Ahoyka : LOFL! Mine too. Even the one that had Parvo as a pup ( and she's pretty dim... But lovable. ). Unlike McFlightsuit : TOTALLY UN - lovable... Think that mutt might have had Parvo when he was a pup? Or, just dropped on his head??
More to follow. -ralph
Nah - just cocaine and lots of alcohol.
Look up dry drunk disease.
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