New Rule...anyone must understand that sometimes a joke is a joke and not a plot to offend either of the two political party's lunatics.
Hey Lunatics! Laugh. Sometimes its all thats required. And... sometimes you have to stand up and do something other than type on a computer or bowl.
I used to think I was a lunatic liberal, way out there and proud of it. Until a couple of Real Time shows ago when Bill got up and kicked some real lunatics off his show. WOW, he got up! And did something! Took a stand! Bill got up, wouldn't let them steal his show!
Then he got a bunch of SHIT from the real lunatic left that think the way to keep other lunatics from stealing your stuff is to sit in your seat and be nice. Be tolerant. Free speech...Let the lunatics steal your show if thats what they want. Hey its a free country...steal away. That isn't being a liberal, its being a wimp.
The right wing lunatics stole your country, your freedom, your rights, your dignity, your safety, your money and your sense of humor while you sat on your sofa, typing angry posts to Bill for defending and protecting what was his. Nitwits.
For you out there that gave Bill shit for getting up and defending his show-learn how not to be a wimp. Please. The reason why we can't get our country back from right wing is because they are bullies and left wing are wimps. (Guess which group can be found in bowling class).
Bill, bowling, as a gym class, is so stupid its funny. It asks the very least from those that may be leading our country someday, the very people that may need to wage a war or solve global warming-glad they built some character in bowling class. Looking forward to watching you not let anyone steal your stuff again Friday night.
New Rule: Pin Heads
New Rule: If bowling passes for high school athletics, then maybe it is time for a draft.
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Bill,
Please after today, you have to list Lou Dobbs as a pinhead. To know what I am talking about, someone must be familiar with New York State politics and the dysfunctional asshole that is Joe Bruno. I agree for the most part with Govenor Spitzer's plan to, with proper identification, allow illegal immigrants to drive, with amendments that will be added to date. For those who would argue, go read the REAL plan. It is better now that there will be separate licenses for voting and such, anyhow, the point is, I used to think Dobbs was an upstanding person, an honest journalist, who would present sides in a fair and unbiased way, I was wrong. Joe Bruno is currently under investigation, with well cause, by the governors office. To invite someone who openly despises the Govenor for trying to do what Bruno does not want done, have an open and functioning Albany, just to get a buddy to help him in his rant, shows that to me, Lou is not the ethical person I thought he was, you would NEVER get a clear and unbiased account of ANYTHING to do with Governor Spitzer from Bruno...and Dobbs knows this...he just didn't care. I also beleive Dobbs is ranting about this issue like a rabid odg, as he is a Republican, and the time is near when they will start banning together to dis the Democrats, to make sure this upcoming election is also close enought for them to steal, like the last two. Anyhow, sorry if a bit out of context, but to allow Joe Bruno a forum on ANYTHING, him being the log jam king of legislature that he is, is a travesty and Lou Dobbs should hang his head.
I have his book, I may use it for tp.
To add to my own post, what people probably don't realize, is that under Govenor Spitzer's plan, a person has to present one of a few certain documents, that would be accepted as legal reason to be in this country, a passport being one of them. A migrant farm worker is not going to be able to go up to a DMV window with nothing but his hoe in his hand, and get a license. If someone obtains one of these documents "illegally", that is the federal governments oversite, which is precisely what the Governor means when he said, it is not his problem if they can't do theirs. Anyone who thinks that if a person bent on destruction, will be stopped because they don't have a NY license, be it from obtaining a gun, gaining entrance to an airport,or any other type of thing with a possible negative outcome, is naive as they come. To me, it is really a non-issue because it would have zero impact on anything of importance, terroists will always find a way to terroize, and the last time I looked, I couldn't think of any Mexican terroists to date.People have to start reading between the lines, or listen to Bill, to find out the REAL facts, then make sound judgements on those facts. Governor Spitzer wants to get NY great again, we need to help him get that petrified piece of wood Bruno out, then we can grow. I for one, am on his side.
I'm all for a draft. Maybe the public would wake up and demand an end to the war and the impeachment of the criminals bush and cheney.
How about Bowling for Columbine? Shouldn't that be a bullet-point in the draft discussion?
Bowling is a very complex sport. The reason most people make fun of bowling is because they don"t understand the game and because they don"t, could never successfully compete with those who do know the intricate parts of the game!
Oil patterns, complicated, and in some cases very complicated bowl drillings and a host of other facets go into making this a game only for those who are well acquainted with these and many other aspects related to the game itself.
True enough, those who want to bowl "for the fun of it" are not familiar with the game on this level, nor do they need to be. But "professional" bowling is in fact one of the most demanding of all sports, and I"m talking both mentally and physically.
Knocking down pins? What"s the difference between "knocking down pins" and "hitting a little ball with a stick" or "bouncing a rubber ball up and down a court" or "running up and down a field with a ball tucked under your arm", or "hitting a puck with a long stick"? The answer: NOTHING! And while I am on the subject, how about these "professional" race car drivers ¦ now there"s your joke!
And just a side note, a bowling ball weighs 16 pounds ¦ what does a football or basketball weigh? "Professional" bowlers lug around 8 to 12 of these 16 lb. balls each and every week on the tour!
Fact is, bowling takes just as much skill and know-how as any of these other sports and in some cases, far more! Bowling, Tennis and Billiards ¦ these take a tremendous amount of skill, and in my opinion far more than any of the traditional sports that the masses love so much!
Before you make so much fun of bowling, you might try looking into what the "professional" side of this sport entails?
The difference between hitting a ball with a stick and bowling...
Lets first compare the size of the balls. One is huge and heavy and rolls on the ground at moderately slow to moderately fast rates away from the player. The other ball is very small and light, hard and rockets through the air at speeds faster than you drive your car at the players head or other body parts.
Now lets compare the sticks. One game uses 10 short, fat heavy 'sticks', huddled together ( like a bunch of wimps)in a stationary pattern. The other uses one long lean stick, that moves about quickly and sometimes because of shear force shatters all over the field.
OK, the field...do I need to go here?
The big fat heavy ball rolls down a very narrow and controlled field and eventually hits the 10 short fat huddled wimp sticks. This happens at the leisure of the roller, who can stand there and stare at the wimp sticks for what seem to be a 1/2 hour before rolling.
The very small light hard ball rockets through a huge field at speeds faster than your car and somehow the thin long stick has to connect a spot the size of a quarter onto the speeding hard ball in also a spot the size of a quarter.
OH, it has to do it in less than 2 seconds.
Now lets compare the athletic shape required of a baseball player and a bowler...I'm done.
WOW...close call on the skill level required.
Jacee,
Thanks for TRYING to explain the differences to me between bowling and all the other sports mentioned.
After reading your comments however, I can safely state that you simply miss the point of my post altogether.
Jacee, I really don"t mean to offend you, but your post is barely readable and judging from your impractical, not to mention unrealistic views and comparisons, I would hazard a guess that it would be futile to even try to explain anything to you ... about anything!
Someone much more interested in race car driving than I am could come along and make a near-page long rant in the same fashion as you did. The primary difference between the mainstream high school sports you mention and bowling is the lack of running/cardio. As you say, it's more akin to billiards, golf, hunting, or perhaps even chess than it is to football, basketball, track, soccer, etc. Talent at bowling is much more specific and mathematical while talent at most mainstream sports has some of that, but also comes largely from a general level of physical fitness, and helps give you that level through training and practice. What Bill says about high school to college age bowlers is also very true. "Bowling", in my experience, is a drinking activity at that age. Of course, this wouldn't be true of a sanctioned high school team, but if it were entirely true it wouldn't be a joke, it'd be a fact, and Bill is a comedian. So before -you- criticize Bill so condescendingly, you might try remembering that jokes are not facts, especially his new rules jokes, facts usually aren't as funny as exaggeration. Unless they're facts about Bush.
Aside from the obvious gouge in freedom that the draft creates, it might do some good. Shake the picture of the Viet Nam draft from your head and picture this. Young Americans, proud to go all over the world doing humanitarian projects, learning life's skills and empowering the weak. Instead of over paying Halliburton to cook potatoes we teach a generation of military cooks. Instead of fudging troop numbers by overpaying Blackwater personnel, we groom and train America's next generation of terror fighters and security professionals. It would be a naional investment.
I always hear of how the volunteer army is so much more effective, but no one brings up the danger of having every serviceman be a true believer. A group of hundreds of thousands, armed to the teeth and with all the courage in the world, but don't think the emperor needs any pants. Every group needs a guy screaming "The emperor has no clothes!"
The draft seems like an issue of morale. Thats definitely going to work against you when you send young men off to kill and be killed. But imagine how much different the draft would be if we trusted our government to use our military responsibly. If they could send you home better off then they took you, it might work.
well, at least Bill and everyone within an earshot of him thought that was funny.
Seeing just how fat many high school kids are, I would be willing to bet that many of them could not bowl an entire 10 frames without getting 'winded'. Unfortunately, I think that bowling would probably get many high school kids in better shape - as pathetic as that is...
Are you kidding? A lot of people aren't even SOBER when they bowl! I'm sure most of us can keep from getting winded.
Bill, Bill, you are reaching for a laugh on this one. Bowling jokes?? With all that's going on right now? I realize you're a comedian, but bowling jokes??
Jeff Lebowski would not approve.
The Dude would not approve.
In the end Bill the U.S.A. needs a standing Military of at least 500,000 men plus the reserves. 2 year servce would not hurt anyone. Every kid should do at least 2 years in the military.
and I'm sure you've put your time in too, right?
Didn't think so...
Wouldn't hurt anyone? Are you freaking nuts?
There are upwards of 50,000 young Americans, and possibly over a million Iraqis who have been hurt by the service of the military in support of this Moron we have to call president.
Why does everyone want so badly to force kids to sign up when we all know that they are being sent to die for the personal goals of the leadership of the GOP?
If my kid were to join, I'd want him to be serving his country, not the GOP.
This president sent our troops into harms way without care or concern for truth or just cause. The highest act of treason, and you think that forcing kids to sign up would harm no one?
For now, let those volunteers who so heartily support the president in his megalomania suffer the consequences of their politics.
Maybe your son or daughter, but not mine. Not now. Not until the office of the president is held accountable for their deeds.
Love ya Bill! Yeah, we've already marched backwards to the 50's and if Bush and the neo-cons get their way, we'll be in the 20's and on our way back to the Dark Ages by the time they're finished. Keep talking about the bullshit called Abstinence Only that this bunch have put in place for sex-ed. "Don't do it till your married" Yeah, right. Every one of the freaks that require this crap should have to sign a "petition" that they never had sex until THEY were married just like they require the poor teens to sign "virginity" pledges. Also, these assholes don't want girls to get abortions OR the gardisil shots.
And they don't want guys to use condoms. Hey - how about the fact that the POPE recently told pharmacists in America they should become "conscientious objectors" by refusing to fill prescritions for birth control? Objectors of what?
They are actually working on not only making abortion illegal - they want to make getting birth control illegal!! As long as people are bowling, not f-ing, everything is peachy with a cherry on top.
If a golfer is an athlete, then a bowler is an athlete. The same goes for: race car driver, jockey, and baseball designated hitter.
Golf and bowling are RECREATIONAL activities for old people and those without a sex drive.
Any dufus with two arms, two legs and a high capacity bladder can drive in a circle for 400 or 500 miles, ergo race car driving is NOT A SPORT, it's an attempt en mass to hypnotize as many rednecks at once, and by golly, it works!
Tiny men whipping large animals in a circle is for SADISTS.
But it takes an ATHLETE to hit a baseball 500 feet, unless you are Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire or any of the other chemical spills disguised as humans.
Randy
Was their ever an 'Asterisk' called for when McGuire broke the season HR record? He admitted taking andro, where as Bonds has not been found, nor has he admitted guilt yet... I wonder what the difference between these two might be....
I think you are dead right
Great NEW RULE, Bill. I must have missed something with all these off-the-wall comments.
I "pinched a loaf" this morning and it was more exciting than bowling...
...and it took more effort!
LOL....sick, but funny.
I think that bowling with hand grenades would qualify as a sport.
Its like the schools have issued a new program:
" Don't allow the students to sweat."
Its no wonder that those gym floors are so shiny- not being used at all.
It's called floor wax, hun.
Basketball floors and dance studio floors are shiny, too. They don't sweat?
Bill I'm a huge fan, but here you're just plain wrong. You want a draft because you think it will end the war quickly. Oh Really? How'd that work out with Vietnam? And furthermore, I don't recall you ever being in a uniform now that I think about it. So ok Bill if that's what you want, fine. Draft us all, we'll put on our uniforms and pick up our rifles when you do. The same goes for everyone else on here who is screaming for a draft. I'm willing to bet most (if not all) people on here who are calling for it have probably never done a day in the military in their lives, and probably have no kids either. It's real easy to call for someone else's sacrifice in a fraud of a war when you have nothing personally to worry about, isn't it?
Under no circumstances will I or will I allow my grandkids to pick up a weapon and kill on command for the pleasure of polictical will.
If I had been drafted and given a gun to kill, I would have to ask who is the danger. Would it be from someone protecting his or her family in their own country, are they the danger. I think not. It would be those that forces one or fools another to do their political bidding that are the danger. be careful of loaded guns.
But a draft does have merrit if a nation who is non responsive to its people, must do as Thomas Jefferson suggests that a government cleansing is in order, the citizens may need access to the high tech armaments to counter the influence of a carreer soldier or worse yet a Blackwater contracting for the New World Order.
Then in that case it's not called a draft...that's what we call a "revolution." And I agree with you on that. The government won't listen to the people, impeachment is "off the table," and all politicians both dems and repubs are sleeping in the same bed. A draft will not solve anything, especially with this administration, it's the worst possible thing you could do, because then that's just giving them more gasoline to throw on the fire that's already burning out of control. If this were any other president, then it might work, but not with the neocons. So what is left? Revolution brothers and sisters...revolution! Resistance to the government might be our only way out of this mess. I used to joke about it, but it doesn't sound so funny anymore. Perhaps it's time to form the United States People's Revolutionary Army...
Viva La Revolucion Americano!
Bill, forgive me for repeating myself, but I posted this on a dead thread recently. I want to correct something you said on last Friday's show. You said that the prohibition on foreign-born citizens from the presidency was an amendment to the constitution, a political statement not made by the framers of the Constitution. The Constitution says:
"No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States."
This is in Article II, Section 1 of the Constitution, as written by Madison, Hamilton, et al. It may have been political, as you said, but it was a part of the original Constitution prior to any amendments. I was disappointed in your guests, particularly in Wesley Clark, for not catching that. Kudos to Clark, though, for pointing out the dangers in allowing foreign-born citizens to attain the presidency of the United States.
Lighten up, Bill. This past week in Milwaukee a four-lane bowling alley was built in Miller Park (a domed stadium where the Brewers play) in order to host some kind of national bowling championship. It appears to be a regional or ethnic thing- or some kind of thing. Careful you don't go the way of Imus by dissing bowling!
There's also breaking news this morning that a new Secretary of Agriculture will be appointed. I guess the Senate needs to know his opinion on milkboarding...
In high school for gym we had bowling every year. It was part of the "recreation" block which included: darts, ping-pong, juggling (scarves, bean bags, then tennis balls). There was another one in there, I want to say it was horse-shoes or something similar.
We also had a line-dancing block.
I'm not kidding. Deep in the midwest. No, we didn't have de-tassling in gym.
(Each "block" lasted about 2-4 weeks and were usually organized as tournaments. Others included pickle ball, softball, volleyball, Prez Fitness, etc.)
Oh, dagnabbit I'm SO sick of these 'elitist' comments!
Most people have a mix of interests, say - going to the library and watching college football on the weekends. Or taking in a play one night balanced by going to the Gatornationals.
If someone ONLY ever does one thing: like go mudbogging, but never learns to read music - then that can lead to cultural stagnation and a 'dumbing down' process. It's important to 'mix it up.'
But here's a real question: Why do we have to pander to the lowest common denominator? Furthermore, what's WRONG with raising the bar?
If I can go to a drag race in Valdosta or a quincinera in Santa Maria, why can't some of you hit the opera - or turn off the TV and READ A BOOK?!
America is not defined by people who eat cheetos and drink beer. There are also people in America who like risotto and white wine. That does not make them elitist; it makes them DIVERSE.
Voaden your horizons, and don't be so defensive when people call you on living in your bubble.
Personally, I've always thought there was room for all of us and that it was a stupid GOP divisive tactic we fell for long ago. Divide and conquer, etc.
Yes, he's slamming bowling a bit, but his larger point IS STILL VALID.
PE is ONE DAY A WEEK. Just like with Reagan and 'catsup is a vegetable' in the 80s, the whole 'bowling is aerobic activity' is another claim made by people too lazy or disinterested in doing the right thing - and Bill is right to call them out on it, and to make an issue of it.
We should be a more physically active country. Bowling is more of a passtime than a sport; a social activity. His commentary was to imply we're a soft nation, more interested in socializing than committing.
And in that, he'd be right.
Dagnabbit? Gabby Hayes lives!!!
Posted October 30, 2007 | 05:33 PM (EST)