Spitzer's Trysts: Stop Over-Thinking This

I'm going to throw the remote through the TV if one more news twink says something on the order of "When we come back, we'll look into what drives a successful man like Eliot Spitzer to risk it all..."

Oh yes, let's convene a panel of experts for that. Let me help you: because he wants to get his nut off! Stop with all the analysis! It never ends, I hear all these people talking about how powerful people think they can get away with anything, so it's a thrill, or that it's for this psychological reason or this one -- please, he wanted to CUM WITH SOMEONE! Stop overthinking this: people need sex, and married people generally aren't getting it. Studies show (OK, I'm making that up, but it's true nonetheless) that people married 20 years only have sex on Valentine's Day, their anniversary, and their birthdays. You can hate me as the messenger, but it's true -- how can anyone be expected to still want to score with someone you've been having sex with for a score? Mr. Spitzer simply wanted what humans desire, to feel that sensational sensation when you're hot for someone, to touch and hug and bump and grind -- this is really not that complicated! If you're ascribing more to it than that, it's probably really more about your own fear that your spouse wants to do the same thing.

Or is doing it. Married people are often starved for sex, touch, affection, not to mention the kinky stuff that wifey definitely won't do. So if you find yourself at such a place in life -- and this is most certainly wives as well -- where you're dieing like this, you can do one of three things: get divorced, cheat, or continue to live a life with little or no passion, sex, etc. It's easy to point fingers, but how about some recognition that society's rules are so at odds with human nature that there are actually no good options for an Eliot Spitzer, and the ZILLIONS OF PEOPLE JUST LIKE HIM, many of who are tut-tut-ing today. I guess a guy is a hero who sticks it out and leads a life of quiet desperation. I'm not so sure it's heroic to make him.

Comments

[LangstonA]

Alot of the comments on this blog are not acknowledging that men who cheat on women are cowards. And I say this as a cowardly woman myself. The job I'm doing right now I am doing to pay my bills, not because I love it. I am AFRAID to drop what I'm doing now, start at the bottom, lose everything, just to pursue what I really love. Men show this kind of cowardice all the time. If men wish to have sexual access to a variety of women, they pursue that wish. But to follow the Spitzer model of doing illegal and dishonest things to pursue that desire is cowardly. If Spitzer wanted sexual access to a variety of women why didn't he . . . A) Convert to Islam or Mormonism and marry a variety of women B) Follow the Donald Trump model of serial marriage in which you drop your wife when she ages or you become tired of her and you get another, younger, more sexually appealing wife. C) Follow the Warren Beatty model of pursuing a career in the entertainment industry so that sexually available women flock to you in droves, then stay a bachelor until you've had your fill. D) The Willie Brown model in which you separate from, but do not divorce your wife, and you have one mistress after the other. E) And this is the most important model -Follow the Magic Johnson model in which you flat out tell your fiancee that you will have sex with other women while you"re on the road playing basketball but she and the children you create in the marriage will always have priority. None of these models involve breaking the law. None of these models involve continually lying to your spouse. None of these models involve hypocrisy. If Spitzer"s dream was to stick his penis in a million vaginas before his dieing day he should have followed that dream, even if it meant never marrying and ending up alone and childless when he was aged. He was a coward to follow the conventional get-married-and-have-kids just because it was the expected thing for him to do. I say the Magic Johnson model is the most important because no one Spitzer's age was unaware of the Magic Johnson/HIV story. Cookie and Magic Johnson had an understanding about Magic having sex with other women but Magic still violated his marriage by not using a condom consistently and he got HIV because of if. With that story out there, the fact that Spitzer was attempting to pay a premium to have sex with professional sex workers (Goddess bless them) without a condom makes him not only a coward but a selfish pig.

[Pam4Waters]

This just in Bill Haher joins Dr. Laura Schlessinger in blaming Spitzer's wife for his affair. Hay Billie, you know a fair amount about politics and nothing about personal relationships, as exemplified by you complete lack of any. So stick to politics, would ya.

[StineHall]

My partner and I sleep at night with the TV on (Bill Maher is our Johnny Carson) and this morning when we awoke, there was a movie playing - "Out of Africa" with Meryl Streep and Robert Redford. So here's the scene I saw as my crusty eyes opened: Meryl and Robert are toting huge rifles as they stroll through the countryside in Kenya with a native Kenyan guide or servant (in native garb, virtually naked, with a spear I think but definitely no rifle) . . . and they come upon a male lion, oblivious to them, munching on a dead water buffalo. They freeze in place, Redford says, "Back up slowly, really slowly" and they do . . . about 20 paces, Meryl turns around and there's a lioness charging right at them from the side, at full throttle . . . the native dude ducks down, and Streep and Redford both raise their rifles and slam the bolt action back then forward, engaging bullets, and Meryl fires off a shot - kills the beast dead in her tracks . . . but as they turn, they see that the male lion who was feeding has started charging from his direction, and Redford fires his rifle, kuhPOW, the lion's down, and the Kenyan meekly stands up with his little spear.

I can't help but think that the Clinton campaign isn't negotiating as we speak for the rights to air that scene as their campaign ads.

[RedBarberian]

Honest. Does this make us squares but there are some of us who still get turned on by our wives and sex in marriage can be a very satisfying, loving activity. It is in my case and has been for a couple of decades.

[ipv4]

That's awesome but unfortunatley this is not the case for many. I envy you.

[jeannedarc]

I almost always agree with Bill Maher"s positions, but I can"t go along with his explanation that Eliot Spitzer"s trysts with prostitutes reveal nothing more than a need for frequent sex. According to Maher, Spitzer is just like other married men who want something fresh and hot on the side. Probably true, except that men--especially attractive ones-- don"t need love for hire to get their rocks off: they can get it for free, without the worry of structured payments. What Spitzer really wanted was to be whisked away from his pressured, egalitarian, politically-correct world, into another time where every man"s wish is granted, every utterance praised, and the need for consensus never arises. Spitzer sought to return to the world that white American men were able to take for granted until women heeded their own testosterone and began competing with them.

[susanlno]

I'm reminded of the movie "Indecent Proposal," in which Robert Redford played a gazillionaire who offered the faithful wife of another man a million dollars (or some large number) to sleep with him. Plenty of reviews discussed the abstract sleaze factor, but one (sorry, I forgot the reviewer's name) dared to say, "Come on, who really believes Robert Redford has to pay for it?" Apparently the powerful man's appetite is not just for sex, but for reducing it to a commodity so that it will never be unavailable.

I just wish Bill Maher would give it a rest on how "all women want everything from one man, and all men want just one thing from every woman"! He makes much better points when he stops generalizing so grossly.

[funkalicious]

WE didn't over think this every guy I know uses hookers pays cash. Spitzer is the sick dumb SOB with the warped mind.

[blinddraw]

Quintessential Maher...

[blah blah blah]

Bill, perhaps its your ego that can't being stroked enough for you.

[Gilda]

I think Bill wishes he were Hugh Hefner every day of his life.
Don;t get me wrong , you're still funny and witty and politically incorrect.

[Justtellthetruth]

He engaged in an ongoing pattern of illegal behavior which forced him to hide and possibly launder his money trail, and ultimately put himself in a position in which the possibility of blackmail was EXTREMELY high. In fact so high that he immediately resigned when his behavior became known.

Any time a governer (or any other politician) puts himself in such a position (horny or not) he has already failed his post.

[researcher]

the challenge in life is to move beyond many human temptations. this can develop the soul but if you do not believe in soul development then go for it. the pull to have sex with every lovely women is real but the pull to love one more to not let that temptation rule your life is real also. your choice.

as far as sin and all that crap dont let the self righteous get you down. they just wish they could do it so they project their guilt on to the guy doing it.

when the evangels quit being war mongers and self righteous and wanting to blame the gays for every evil in the world and think they are the only path to heaven maybe i will join them but i aint holding my breath. and who did jesus have the most problems with in his time. you guessed it the religious fundamentalists.

they dont have a clue they are exactly what jesus taught his followers not to be. not a clue.

[iczlite]

New Rule:
If you're a politician cracking down on organized crime, DO NOT use those services provided by the organized crime you're trying to crack down....

[zuzuzpetals]

You're missing the point, Bill. It's not that he did it--it's that he did it in such a way that he could get caught.

He knew how law enforcement investigates and flags people.

Just like Clinton did it with a girl who was way WAY too young not to immediately have to go and talk about it.

That's what at issue. Not the sex, but the level of stupidity of the risk. This makes it psychologically, um, expressive.

[MarkDC]

YEs it was stupid. So what? Men can be really stupid when it comes to having a young woman look up at you with those big blue eyes and beg for your DNA. IT happens.

Doesn't mean Eliot is a nut. Means he is like a lot of men, stupid as hell sometimes when it comes to getting his nut.

Sure, the thrill of doing something illegal, of conning others, was probably part of the excitement. It was risky as hell. But the magnet pulling Elliot was the same magnet pullling a lot of men -- the amazing lure of being worshiped at the altar of your prick. Don't ever underestimate that power.

[interestedinthis]

I've been thinking I'll vote for Obama. But this is one of the most convincing arguments I've seen for electing a female president. The notion that men flip into stupidity when sexually allured is downright scary, and even moreso with the claim that that lure is almost constant. That is indeed a power not to be underestimated. We need leaders who aren't governed by their sex organs.

[pattyrenee]

As a ex wife of a rabid womanizer, I must defend myself. We had sex every day without fail.
Yes, maybe I didn't know about all the tricks of the trade because I was a virgin when I got married.
But, we had great sex as my ex told our counselor who was attempting to save our marriage. I loved sex with him. We played, we had fun, but he had a girlfriend or two, our entire marriage. I finally left when I figured out he was never going to change. It took 16 years though. I loved him more than life itself.
I still love him, 20 years later. He is still a womanizer, albeit, an older one. He married the women who finally broke us up. He told me some things she would do for him sexually that I had never heard of much less, would have done. Talk about unsafe! I left him and moved to Colorado with our son. The other woman who married him, stayed 7 months after years of trying to get him. She wrecked my marriage, for what it was worth. He married again, and still is unfaithful to her. She just enjoys the money and drinks too much. He is still in touch and sends me money and my son money. My son is so screwed up because of this. Not by women but by drugs. We are making headway now, as my son is now turning 35 and knows that his father has a huge problem. The ex was an alpha male. Ambitious, now rich, ran marathons, and circles around everyone who worked with him. But, he had to screw every woman he knew from friends wives, to my friends, when he could. Plus, every women he met because he could. Don't blame the wives of these men for their sins of unfaithfulness.
The men are the sorry souls who will never be happy except for when their dick is inside of some slut.

[lifterus]

That's an awful story. But I think there is a discernible difference between someone who hires prostitutes just to get their rocks off, and someone who has serious love affairs behind his wife's back. The latter, IMO, is far more disrespectful to the wife.

[MarkDC]

Men do almost everything to get some combination of power, prestige, and pussy. Freud had it right in the Pleasure Principle.

[Marylee]

OH MY, Girl! I so feel U. I was also attracted to an alpha male and married him.
Same, Same, Same...He's sick now and wants to come home so I can care for him. NOT!

[alwaysthere]

down from the heavens
love to inspire
and up from this world
marriage to acquire
and while the first
demands the absolute truth
im afraid the other
is far, far, far, to often

but a lier.

s.2000

[LeonFreilich]

ITCHER SPITZER

He didn't mean to pay for sex,

That wasn't part of the plan,

But though he was the governor,

He was also a genitalman.