Only In America: The Anna Nicole Smith Story

03/01/2006 09:33 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

OK, I admit, I change my mind - every once in a while.

And I sure have changed my mind about Anna Nicole Smith.

At first, I thought she was just a tramp: showing her boobs to a horny old man, luring him into bed, beguiling him into marriage, and then slinking her way into his bank account.

In other words, I thought she was a tramp - and a gold-digger. Who didn't deserve a dime of J. Howard Marshall's fortune.

But I've changed my mind. Yes, I still think she's a tramp and a gold-digger. But a tramp and a gold-digger who deserves every penny she can squeeze out of the old fart.

After all, he's the guy who walked into the strip club. More than once.

He's the guy who paid for the lap dance. More than once.

He's the guy who dangled his millions in front of her, just like she dangled her ta-ta's in front of him.

And he's the guy who told her he loved her, asked her to marry him, and promised to take care of her.

So, once he croaked, why didn't she deserve to get every dime he promised? Under the law, as I understand it, she did.

And, above the law, it sure wasn't a lot of fun to crawl into bed with the old coot.

So what if Marshall's son doesn't agree? If his old man was foolish enough to give the family fortune away to a stripper, that's his problem.

Besides, he's already in his 70's, anyway. Time to get his own bimbo. Does Anna Nicole have a sister?

Anna Nicole Smith - you go, girl!