(Marty Fleck is a self-help guru, the author of the international bestseller Where Can I Stow My Baggage? and the syndicated column "Baggage Handling." He is also the pseudonymous protagonist of Bill Scheft's new novel Everything Hurts. He has generously agreed to answer questions from readers of the Huffington Post.)
Dear Marty Fleck,
Why did President Obama cruelly snap at that CNN reporter when asked why it took him two days to express his outrage over the AIG bonuses? Is that presidential?
Kevin Benchley (Cincinnati, Ohio)
Dear "Kevin Benchley,"
First of all, I am not a mentalist, I am a self-help guru. That said, I've put quotes around your name because I don't believe your name is Kevin Benchley. I believe your name is Ed Henry. Ed Henry from CNN. So, why did President Obama snap at you? Is that what you want to know? Ed? The line, I believe was "I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak." Okay, you're right, Ed. It was a little toothy. It was hardly cruel. But, and this is key, are you listening? It was not meant for you. It was meant for someone else.
If you have my international best-selling book Where Can I Stow My Baggage? please turn to Chapter Two, "Does My Baggage Have the Proper Identification?" If you don't, fire up Amazon and order it next-day delivery. Go ahead. I'll wait....
(the next day)
Okay, now turn to page 15. Middle of the second paragraph. Family is blood, but in-laws are that vague yellowy liquid that slithers out after the blood. Give the man a break. He's been in the White House 65 days, living with his mother-in-law. It's a wonder he didn't begin every answer at the press conference with, "Look, I know my wife could've done better...."
So again, this was not meant for you, Kevin. I mean Ed. This is not your baggage. Leave it curbside.
And remember: In-laws are just like everybody else, except moreso.
Loading comments… 
