Boy, did the news about Lachlan Murdoch hit home in a big way this week. As some of you may have heard, the eldest of the Murdoch boys recently resigned his position in the family’s far-flung business empire, stepping down last Friday as News Corp.’s chief operating officer without providing any explanation.
Obviously, there’s been a lot of speculation as to why young Lachlan did what he did. In his column today in Variety, Brian Lowry suggests it may have been because of the "towering shadow" cast by his father, Rupert Murdoch, and Lachlan’s growing inability to get out from under it. Sure sounds reasonable to me.
That’s why I feel sorry for my kids. Sure, right now I’m their can-do-no-wrong hero, the cheery, lighthearted guy with the funny back hair and the pock-marked complexion, the carefree fellow in the wrinkled t-shirt and rumpled pajama bottoms who’ll do whatever it takes to make them laugh, even if it means sticking vegetables up my nose until I have to be taken to the emergency room or doing “the robot” to the latest 50 Cent cd. Heck, I’ve even been known to slide a twenty to them under the table just after their mother has made it clear in no uncertain terms that she’s not going to give them any money for candy because it’ll ruin their dinner and rot their teeth out. Those little guys love me and it’s no surprise why.
But what happens later, when they’re older? What’s it going to be like for them to spend the rest of their lives under my “towering shadow”? For instance, when their wedding announcements get rejected by the New York Times, will it be because of something they did or because of their dad’s unfortunately timed and occasionally violent psychotic episodes? When they’re given the bum’s rush after applying for a car loan, will it be because of their shaky credit or my string of shady off-shore transactions while under an assumed identity that will keep them from jumping into whatever hydrogen- or fuel-cell-powered dream mobile I’m sure we’ll all want to be cavorting about in by then? When they get turned down for a job or rejected by a country club or drummed out of MENSA, will it be because their resumes weren’t up to snuff or rather because their potential employers, club members or fellow geniuses just don’t want to deal with the ramifications and consequences of hiring or golfing with or discussing their favorite Star Wars characters with a scion of the infamous and much maligned (unfairly, I might add) Bill Diamond?
In any case, I’m sure you feel sorry for my kids, too