Barack Obama Insults Dog, Jumps Shark

Reasonable people may differ as to when exactly the bloom came off the rose for Barack Obama. Of course, hopes fulfilled inevitably bring anti-climax, so it's possible that much of the general public is now predisposed to find fault even where none exists. But surely few of his supporters, and I count myself among them, will deny that there has been much to deplore about Mr. Obama's post-election conduct.

For some, the most dispiriting event was the unwelcome reappearance of the Clintonistas, returning through the revolving door that separates the public and private sectors for a last hurrah, a stale Hollywood plot line instead of the "Change from Beyond-the-Beltway" we were promised.

For others, Obama jumped the shark when he continued to send solicitous e-mail (still signed "Barack"), raising money almost as if by reflex, weeks after the election. (Allow me a quick "reply all." Barack, if I may call you that, people don't really want to be on a first name basis with their president even if they say they do. Being a young president does not mean you have to behave like a childish one.)

But, for me, the honeymoon ended when Barack Obama insulted my dog on national television.

The "Kimball Corollary" to "O'Neill's Law," which states that "All politics are local," is that "All politics is personal." (I prefer to regard "politics" as singular rather than plural - let the debate begin.) Last week, during an interview with Barbara Walters (another deplorable move), President-Elect Obama made cruel fun of my dog, gratuitously and without any sort of provocation. That's when the sad fact I have somehow known all along really hit home: the Barack Obama who will sit in the Oval Office is not and cannot be the same man who ran for that office.

The exchange in question took place as Ms. Walters attempted to sell the First Couple on her own preferred breed, a Havanese.

Obama: "Cha Cha?"

Barbara: "It's short for Cha Cha Cha."
O: "What is a Havanese?"
B: "It's like a little terrier and they're non-allergenic and they're the sweetest dogs.."
O: [Face suddenly changes.] "It's like a little yappy dog?"
Michelle: "Don't criticize."
O: "It, like, sits in your lap and things?"
M: "It's a cute dog."
O: "It sounds kinda like a girly dog."
M: "We're girls. We have a houseful of girls."
O [with hand gestures]: "We're going to have a big rambunctious dog, of some sort."

Like Barbara Walters (which is something we are going to have to come to terms with at a later time), my wife and I have a Havanese. Manuel has all the classic dog virtues: he is loyal and affectionate, brave and (somewhat) obedient, and, if anyone tried to take him away from me, they'd have to pry him from my cold, dead hands.

The creation myths of the Havanese breed are various. As their name suggests, they are Cuban, but whether they came there first as the playthings of Spanish aristocrats or to bring joy to the laboring masses as circus dogs is debated. Some say they made landfall in the New World having crossed as shipboard sentinels watching for men overboard, a legacy that would make them unusually beloved among the non-swimming sailors of the day. Our dog still gives the alarm when anyone in our neighborhood dives into a pool or when, at the beach, anyone in his quarter-mile patrol zone is foolish enough to brave the waves.

By immemorial custom, the First Family must be dog owners just as they must be churchgoers and sportsfans. For Barack Obama to promise his daughters a new puppy if he were elected was a no-brainer, like promising them their own airplane or a new house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Once Wolf Blitzer called it on Election Night, the Obama family was getting a dog whether the kids wanted one or not.

The semiotics of dog ownership, for presidents and paupers alike, are equally well established. By saying that he wanted a "big, rambunctious dog," Obama was trying to don the mantle of the "guy's guy." Big rambunctious dogs, through their genetic link to working and hunting breeds, establish one's bona fides with the masses. Those toy breeds who don't have to work for living probably belong to people who don't either - or so the conventional wisdom would have it.

Of course, big, rambunctious dogs also imply that the owner is not gay which is important for Obama as he considers a politically radioactive repeal of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rules which stuck like flypaper to Bill Clinton during his first year in office. For what it's worth, Barack Obama has risen very high in American life without, as far as I can tell, anyone suggesting he's gay. I really think ghettoizing an entire species of dog is unnecessary overcompensation in that regard.

(By the way, the days of swishy interior decorators with a Teacup Maltese under their arm seem to me to have gone with the wind. Check out the Big Dog Run in Washington Square Park if you don't believe me.)

To give Michelle Obama credit, she attempted to give her husband some cover by suggesting that a "girly dog" would be entirely appropriate for "a houseful of girls." It was a nice try, but clearly Mr. Obama meant "girly" in the pejorative sense, not as an adjective denoting "nice for girls," but rather to suggest a dog that lives in conflict with its own manly nature or the manly nature of dogs in general.

The focus group that sits inside Barack Obama's head has mostly served him well. It has enabled him to take terrifying political risks with that icy cool that we all love and fear. But in this case, his inner focus group has steered him wrong. Making distinctions about dogs based on breed is nothing less than a form of canine racism and exactly the sort of thing many of us had hoped we were leaving behind on Nov. 3. Is a Newfoundland who tongue kisses his male owner and hides under the bed during a thunderstorm any less girly than a Chihuahua who barks at trucks and has the guts to try to mate with a throw pillow more than twice his size?

And, after setting a fine example by declaring that he would adopt (or "rescue" in current parlance) a dog rather than buy one, Obama is acting irresponsibly by getting a dog much larger than is practical for people in his zip code who don't have a Rose Garden and South Lawn for it to run around on. Inevitably, one wonders who is going to clean up after the big, rambunctious dog leaves his big, rambunctious bowel movements scattered about the White House grounds? I suspect our new Commander-in-Chief will be commanding someone to do that job for him.

In the four years since he came into our lives, Manuel has watched over our baby, protected our family, comforted us in times of trouble, given us unconditional love, forgiven us our occasional negligence, entertained us, encouraged us to exercise, and provided us with a middle class tax cut. If President-Elect Obama can say all that at the end of his first term, then I'll be interested to hear his opinion about my dog. But until then, Mr. President-Elect, how about a little less time disparaging dogs because of their breed and a little more time explaining why you voted for that $700 billion bail-out that didn't work?

Thanks in advance.

Comments

[Shzron1946]

Sometimes whenyou are very tall, a small dog is intimidating (you fear you will either step on it or fall over it). You just feel more comfortable with a dog with some size to it. As a six-foot person, I found a fox terrier about the smallest I could deal with...

[chanterelle]

The Havanese are cute, but definitely for "little dog" people. The Obamas should get a pet they like, it's better for them, and better for the pet. It shouldn't have to be a political statement.

[IslandGyal]

Oh please, while I agree with the Clinton pick, the dog comment is nonsense.

[JimR]

Obama is right. You have a girly dog. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[KaitlinHanger]

Mr. Obama, It's 2008. Be a trailblazer. Climb down off the Harley and show the world that real men don't hafta own Neopolitan mastiffs like Hooch to prove the size of their...oh but I go too far. Just...well, you know...be above the traditional male centrism and tell all the other guys out there it's okay to discover your softer side.

Last winter I was walking my schnauzer when I met a retired gent walking another schnauzer in our direction. Of course, Jackson had to stop and do the happy dance, because terriers always get excited about meeting their own "people" on the trail.

I asked the man the name of his dog. He didn't answer, and I thought maybe he had a hearing problem. We talked schnauzer traits--all nose, no brain. Richer vocabularies than any other pedigree. I asked his dog's name again. My neighbor still didn't answer, but mentioned he had only recently started walking the dog when he'd retired. It was really his wife's dog. Once more, in a loud voice I reserve for the elderly and hard of hearing, I asked the dog's name. Rather sheepishly, at last, he answered me, sort of speaking into the crook of his elbow, and said: "Princess."

I admired him for not lying and telling me the dog's name was Brutus.
You can laugh at the video spoof I did, "Obama and Hooch" at the link on my blog at http://www.deadbytes.blogspot.com

[jimbeaux1961]

I've got a Harley AND a lap dog; you CAN have both.

[fourthwave]

While I totally understand the need for the Obama's to make their own decisions about what dog to have in the White House (especially considering they need a hypo-allergenic breed), I completely agree that that "girly dog" comment on Walter's show was beyond the pale. First of all, whether he was joking or not, it doesn't seem polite to make fun of someone's dog (by calling it "yappy") right in front of them on national television. Secondly, I think you've hit the nail on the head when you say that President-Elect Obama was using "girly" in a pejorative way. That rubbed me completely the wrong way. Why are little dogs automatically "girly"? Because they're little and aren't big, strong working dogs (not necessarily true anyway, since some of the terrier breeds are hunters)? And this is automatically bad? Ugh. It's not only insulting to people, like yourself, with "girly" dogs, but it's implicitly sexist--to suggest small dogs aren't good enough for a "man's man" because they're "girly."

[Ides]

Your dog really is a girly dog. So are Afghans and poodles.

Man up.

[MsEngineer]

I have three Austalian Shepherds and stock in swiffer sweepers:) Great dogs if you have a supply of Frisbees, tennis balls and a large yard. Two of the three are smarter than I am. I swear one of my previous ones could understand full sentances. Much as I love my Aussies I wouldn't recommend one for a first time dog owner because they do take a lot of time and energy.

[Freesia2]

While I admire your love of your dog, Billy - you're being a little unfair.

The dog isn't a White House accessory - the little girls have been wanting one for a long time. With the election chaos it was best for family and dog to wait. The dog isn't a prize - it's the family member they've been waiting for. The dog will have a great life. It's all good.

And I doubt it's about a "guy's guy" kind of dog. Obama expressed jokingly an important aspect of the dog they choose. They're athletic people. They are statuesque people. They'd probably be more compatible with a larger breed. Dogs are as individual as the people who adopt them. That's why shelters have counselors -it's important to find the right type of pooch for the person. (And person for the pooch.).....And don't fret over the cleaning up of the Rose Garden. If Michelle intends to have the girls clean their own rooms, I'm sure she won't hesitate to teach them to keep a little plastic bag in their pockets when they go out to play with the puppy.

(Oh and don't lay the bailout at his feet. Until he gets into the Oval Office he's not really in a position to take a "pooper scooper" to that particular mess. You're on a real tear today, aren't you? I'd be annoyed but you love your dog as I love mine so .....relax kind Billy. He's not even in office yet.)

[ymuttley]

He should get a Great Pyrenees,they are beautiful,great with kids,love cats,and HUGE! I have two.and they are great to have with me,I sent Obama a e-mail saying he should get a Portuguese water dog,or Airedale Terrier,these two are good because of his saying Hypoallergenic.and they are manly to.
Also Havanese are lovely to or even a troller would be nice. I could go on and on,Oh! I know A Wolf!
I had one when I lived in Fla.he was great,Can you imagine what people would say if he got a wolf! hahahahahahahhahaah.

[BassMent]

Pyrs are my favorite breed. My Bear (God rest him) was the best dog I've ever had. He was the definitive gentle giant... until he perceived a threat against my kids, and the he was a terrifying thing to behold, all 135 fluffy white lbs of him! His growl rattled the windows in the house, but he used it very sparingly. Most of the time he was in the yard with every toddler in the neighborhood climbing all over him, which he loved.

But you can't have a Pyr if your child has allergies. As Bear's groomer used to say after one of his too-infrequent trips to the doggy beauty parlor, "I'll be picking that beast's hair out of my underwear for a week."

A Wheaten Terrier would be a fantastic pick for them. Big enough that you don't have to worry about breaking it, gobs of energy and personality, and no undercoat!

[sueno]

Why dosen't anyone like "mutts"?
I have a mixed-breed, big dog that is soo cool!
He's lovable, friendly and fun.
The Obama's should "rescue" a dog and give a home to
those non "fu fu she she" dogs that are usually considered-

[Motherunit]

I love mutts. Ours was a stray we rescued from a shelter. We don't know anything about his history, but somebody trained him well. He's housebroken, doesn't chew stuff or beg at the table, walks nicely on a leash, and is all-around better behaved than my husband's seeing eye dog. Only problem so far, I was stumped for an answer today when I got him his dog license. What breed is he? Um.. he's got sortof a St Bernard face, but on more like a Golden Retriever head... there might be some Shepherd in there, I don't know. He's just Vince. He's big and furry and cute and totally lovable.

I hope then Obama family sets a good example and rescues a shelter dog. So many great dogs are needing loving homes. Let's put the puppy mills out of business!

[Freesia2]

Amen. Let's do.

I love Vince just from the description. All my dogs have been rescues. Shelters are filled with the most amazing souls. Go adopt one - anyone reading. In this economy, they're overwhelmed. Someone out there would love to be part of your family. It will mean a lot to the shelter workers as well. Their work is heartbreaking.

[rhettisha]

The choice of the Havanese could go hand in hand with his lifting of the Cuban embargo in January. President Obama and his family could be the first American family to have a spring vacation there in 50 years. While in Havana, they could have peace talks with the Castros and pick out their Havanese. By next Christimas, they will sit around enjoying their bouncing new puppy and President Obama's Nobel Prize for Peace.

[PiscesPrincess]

I have to say,,, the exchanges and ripostes of your readers are excellent. I will not venture an opinion on dogs. I had a cocker spaniel for 11 years that I never truly understood until she was gone. When purchasing or picking a dog from a shelter all people need to do some research into the traits and habits of the particular "breed" (mixed or pure) that they choose. Otherwise it can become a love/hate relationship... Whoever you choose, love it unconditionally just as the animal will love you... IF you handle it right... but always with love...(and remember, it has a cost factor in $)

[Indygal2]

Mr. Kimball:
Maybe I've lost my sense of humor. Was this article meant as tongue-and-cheek satire or are you (hopefully not) serious? Responsible dog owners pick the breeds that best suite their personalities and lifestyles. Why do all the dog lovers (and I am one) insist on telling the Obamas what breed is good for them?! Leave them alone and let them decide on a dog. No one scolded you on picking the Havenese.

[Onthepotomac]

Agreed. What dog he chooses for his girls is his business.
No one specifies what underwear you have to buy or what shampoo you have to use. Please, get out of your boredom balloon and let the Obamas pick a dog they like which they will feed, care for and live with.

[rhettisha]

We gave him 500 million dollars of our hard earned money so he could live in a house paid for by us. All of his business is our business. He asked for it.

[smag]

I suggest a rat terrier would be fitting.

[studio34]

I'm with Obama all the way. I hate those yappy lap dogs that urinate all over the house.

[kgb999]

Clearly, you haven't tried a BIG dog that urinates all over the house!!! That'd make you wish for a little yappy one quite quickly.