Obamas Expected to Have Sex in White House, Insiders Say

In what is sure to be a controversial move, President-elect Barack Obama has indicated to his inner circle of advisors that he and his wife may have sex in the White House sometime during the four years of his first term in office.

"He's not saying they definitely will have sex," said an Obama confidante who declined to be named, "But he's not ruling it out. He's also not ruling out having sex more than once."

Although Mr. Obama himself is a regarded as something of a sex symbol, there has been surprisingly little speculation and rumor about the incoming First Couple's romantic life. Longtime observers and friends regard both Mr. and Mrs. Obama as somewhat emotionally chilly. "From what I understand, it's a bit like the Vulcan mating ritual, the Pon Far," said outgoing Democratic Party Chair Howard Dean. "Barack will feel a seasonal urge that he knows rationally and logically that he is powerless to control. He will inform Michelle and she will attempt to satisfy the urge. Their schedulers work out the precise details."

Although it was common for American presidents to have marital sex in the White House throughout the 19th Century, the practice has become increasingly rare in modern times. The last president believed to have frequent intercourse in the White House was Calvin Coolidge whose relationship with his wife, Grace, became intensely passionate following the death of their younger son from an infected blister.

The two chief executives most often associated with presidential sex in recent years, Bill Clinton and John F. Kennedy, did not have the sex they are famous for with their First Ladies. Jimmy Carter, a former president known for a tendency to overshare wrote in his memoir, Keeping Faith: Memoirs of a President, that he and his wife Rosalynn had intercourse once a year on New Year's Eve "for five minutes with the lights off" during his presidency. Mrs. Carter disputed her husband's account in her own memoir, First Lady from Plains.

With four large bedrooms, the First Family's private apartment on the second floor of the White House is designed to accommodate whatever marital configuration the President and First Lady happen to prefer, according to Rear Admiral Stephen Rochon, the Chief Usher of the Executive Mansion. "The President's bedroom and the First Lady's bedroom can be as close together or as far apart as they want," Adm. Rochon said, adding that, as with many couples, sleeping arrangements are usually decided based on who snores. As for the possibility that the Obamas might share a bedroom, Adm. Rochon said he "could not see any reason for that."

The Secret Service has already begun preparing for the possibility that the president's tight schedule might be interrupted on occasion by a brief sexual interlude. The code phrase to indicate that the president (code name "Renegade") and First Lady (code name "Renaissance") are having sex will be "discussing the Bosnian problem" as in "Renegade can't be disturbed right now. He and Renaissance are discussing the Bosnian problem." In the event that president and Mrs. Obama are, in fact, discussing the Bosnian problem and not having sex, Secret Service agents have been instructed to say that they are "reviewing the Bosnian situation." A spokesman for the Bosnian government could not be reached for comment.

Mr. Obama preferences with regard to birth control are not mentioned in either of his books, The Audacity of Hope and Dreams of my Father, though Michelle Obama has said on several occasions that she does not plan to have any more children.

Although Mr. Obama drew scant support form the Religious Right during his campaign, Fundamentalist Christians would have no objection to the president having post-marital sex in the White House according to Focus on the Family's James Dobson. "Intimate relations in the context of a different-sex marriage is just not something we have a problem with, despite what the liberal media would have you believe," he said.

The news that President Obama may soon be having sex in the White House was greeted by his supporters with decidedly mixed emotions. "I'm a little glad and a little sad," said Danielle Garcia-Robinson, a college student and Obama volunteer from Madison, Wisconsin. "I'm glad if he's happy and feeling pleasure but deep down a little part of me will always wish he were having sex with me," Ms. Garcia-Robinson said. Her boyfriend, David Nagel, echoed her sentiment. "That's how I feel, too," he said.

Comments

[phillygirl64]

bwahahahahaha!

remember in 'The West Wing'...when the Bartlets were, ahem, discussing the Bosnian situation, it was marked in the official schedule as barbecue

[cgoodie]

I thought Andy Barowitz was much funnier talking about how scary it is to hear a PE speak in complete sentences.

[mcantwell]

See what you started Billy Kimball? You're just lovin' this aren't you?

[cody58]

This is not the business of the nation. It is off limits, private and personal. The White House will be their home for the next eight years. What they do in their private quarters is their business and theirs alone!

[RobinLandseadel]

And that's why we decided to install 200 cameras in their bedrooms, to insure the security of their private quarters.

[extinguishtheGOP]

LMAO!!

Makes me wonder: Does Barrack Dirty talk? And if he does, what Kinds of words is he using, eh? lol

Also, I bet he proceeds with "deliberate haste... emphasizing both haste and deliberate"

NUFF SAID!!!

PS: SO many women are gonna be so jealous reading this article. In fact, I am willing to bet that there are a few throwing Rahm into the mix. Barracking and Rahming their... eh... collective worlds. WOMEN ARE AWESOME! their fantasies are so much more complete than ours.

[photochick]

You are so astute -- yes, reading this article has definitly got me Barracking and Rahming. Yikes. Good government and good fantasies.... at last my time has come -- as it were.

[myangeldog1]

**GRIN**

[noseysniper]

You know the President must be attractive if people can freely talk about him having sex with his wife and no one makes puke comments or something.

[You]

One person did.

[LeftLeanWing]

It's 3:00 am and the phone rings in the White House.....

The President picks up the phone:

" What !? what !? what !? ... ( hold on a minute baby ) ..... what ? what ? what ? can it wait 10 minutes ? ah Damn ! "

[luvangelHussein330]

OMG!! OMG!! ROTFLMAO!!!

[sepiasiren]

OMG--I-Can­'t-breath-­- CRYING LAUGHING and SLAPPING the floor...

[rury]

Oops, "man" not "made"!

[rury]

How cute and funny.
I'm glad Barack is happy and whole with Michelle-but I would not object at all if he wants to call me "Sweetie," invade my personal space and Barack my world!!
The made is breathtakingly handsome, but even if he looked like the elephant man, I still would have voted for him because of his vision for the nation and the world.

[lafrance]

It will be fun to have a goodlooking first couple and a president that is so easy on the eyes.

[flackguy]

This was hilarious. I hope to discuss the Bosnian situation more often myself.

And I disagree that it's disrespectful. Why is sex such a taboo? It's part of being human!...

[bonbk]

"post marital sex"

Hilarious!!!

[kellygrrrl]

The Obamas continue to set a fine example for Americans

[SF13]

it's a rare thing :-)

[CitizenoftheRepublic]

no it's not! ; >]

[denicci1977]

ROTFLMAO !! OMG this is hilarious, thanks for the laugh....But on a serious note, I'm sure there are people who really would love to be a fly on THAT wall...not me ------other people LOL..

[bellenoir55]

Get a clue,folks--it was FUNNY!!!!!
And after all, speaking as a black woman, the Obamas HAVE to fulfill those projected fantasies white folks have about the sexual prowess of the darker races (wink)!

And we ALL know that a significant part of the vote was from women of ALL
ages and races who secretly lusted after the dashing young Illinois Senator!

Hell,WAY back before he was a candidate and had just come onto the world stage,
there was a Will And Grace" episode where Grace mentions having had a dream about Obama.
She states,with a lascivious grin on her face,that "he was Baracking my world!!"

[EqualMeansEqual]

It is pathetic to have this in the Politics section. Pathetic.

"projected fantasies white folks have" ? Bigot. How can you speak for a entire group of people?

That about as smart as saying Obama is white(and how people love to downplay it) so he HAS to fulfill fantasies of black women by not cheating on his wife, not giving her a STD or not being on the down low.

Or saying his mother went with a Asian man after his father left him because his dad failed at a stereotype, and so must Obama.

That is where this pathetic talk can lead to.

The childish juvenile talk in this article makes me think I am rare on this site in voting for Obama because I thought he was a good leader. Something but be true about him getting support from being hype.

[myangeldog1]

OMG...lighten UP! bellenoir winked after the comment, plus there's some truth to what she's saying, whether you like it or not!

[sykadelic chic]

Um.
Her comment was completely joking. Tongue-in-cheek.

And the article was joking as well. It's like an article you might find in The Onion. It's just for a laugh.

You got one of those conditions where you can't recognize obvious humour or somethin?

[Taiyo]

I think it's great! I'm sure it will keep Barack on an even keel. His relationship with Michelle is one reason why he's always so cool, calm and collected. No pent-up frustrations.

[kramer153]

This is inappropriate and disrespectful of the Office of President and the privacy of the Obamas. Not funny or cool.

[JWheels]

Is there anything about this article that made it unclear it was tounge-in-cheek?

[mom2sons]

Please, please, please........no tongues-in­-the-cheek­s! ROTFLMAO.....Wow, can you imagine getting the swirl on in the WH. YESSSSSSS!

[TRYKER]

Tongue in cheek , maybe. Finger down throat -- for sure.

Its inappropriate and disrespectful, the President-elect is not the man to write this kind of invasive low-class conjecture about.
I found it disgusting.
If we are going to have a change in the dialog in this country, showing some respect for our new President would be the place to start.

[broezekiel]

I can most definitely agree that this IS inappropriate, disrespectful, AND might I add irreverant. But that is exactly why it is cool and funny! I guess it's just my twisted mind! LOL!

[You]

Not twisted! This is the American Way! It's back!

[canucklivinginUSA]

Dude, lighten up.

[TRYKER]

AMEN.....