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Bitchless Bride
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Bitchless Bride is a straightforward, foul-mouthed wedding planner. She has been in "the industry" for almost two decades and is tired of being nice. Tired of entitled brides getting a free pass to behave in a certain way because they are getting married. So, BB is sharing her point of view with an inside look at the bridal chaos we call a wedding.

Don't worry brideys, you will learn a tremendous amount about planning your wedding, but consider it to be free advice without the bullshit.

Entries by Bitchless Bride

Bridey, Don't Let Your Wedding Planning Become a Game of 'Monkey in the Middle'!

(0) Comments | Posted November 18, 2015 | 10:38 AM

Bridey, I gotta ask you a question... Who's in charge? Who's wearing the pants? And, I'm not talking about your relationship with your sig other. Not only is it none of my business, but I don't give a shit. (I mean... For the sake of womankind, I hope it's an...

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Why Finding the Right Venue Can Be as Difficult as Finding the Right Sig Other: 5 Ways to Overcome Venue Finding Hell

(1) Comments | Posted November 11, 2015 | 12:50 PM

Bridey, one of the most difficult parts of planning your wedding is choosing the right venue. I mean, there are so many factors to consider, and people to please that what used to be a fun experience has turned into more of a daunting task. Sorry, but true story! So,...

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10 Things I Hate About 'I Do'

(0) Comments | Posted October 28, 2015 | 12:59 PM

"Oh my God, you have the coolest job! I'm sure you could write a book about all of the stuff you see!" Since all of my non-wedding industry friends always seem to think that my job was nothing but rainbows and unicorns, I thought I would share ten...

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A Bride's Tale of a Sexless, Sh*tshow of a Marriage -- The Grey Area Between Cold Feet and Doubt

(0) Comments | Posted October 22, 2015 | 12:09 PM

Gimme my soapbox, because this girl is going to do a li'l bit of preaching today. And bridey, I'm not preaching about being a bitch while planning your wedding or the "five must-haves" for your perfect wedding day, because what I am about to share with you is much, much...

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What if Your Wedding Vendors Reviewed You, Bridey?

(12) Comments | Posted October 14, 2015 | 2:27 PM

Recently, I had the opportunity to work with a truly amazing bride. She was friendly, organized and considerate of every single person who had a hand in the wedding planning. This chick was even friendly to those who didn't have a hand in the wedding planning, but wished they did...

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It's Called Common Sense... 5 Super Obvious Tips for Wedding Guests that are Always Missed

(0) Comments | Posted July 30, 2013 | 3:31 PM

As I make my way to a wedding (that I am attending, not planning) I can't help but think about all the shit that really pisses me off about your wedding guests, bridey. Honestly, 90 percent of the people attending your wedding are shockingly stupid when it comes to proper...

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A Groom's Guide to Wedding Planning

(3) Comments | Posted June 3, 2013 | 7:45 PM

I love hearing stories about grooms that are wholeheartedly involved in the wedding planning. They attend the vendor appointments, pick out wedding colors, choose the music, taste the cake, etc. It's really nice to see such collaboration between the bride and groom. Because as we all know, a wedding is...

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10 Ways Your Mom Can Ruin Your Wedding Day

(22) Comments | Posted May 24, 2013 | 1:48 PM

I'm not a mother of the bride (MOB) hater, but even with that disclaimer, I guarantee that this article will not make me very popular amongst you moms. Actually, I'm pretty confident that after I spill these particular beans, I'm probably going to have every MOB emailing me messages stating...

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5 Ways to Beat the After Wedding Blues

(4) Comments | Posted March 23, 2013 | 2:18 PM

You can't eat, you can't sleep, you're super depressed and nothing can even come close to making you happy. No, you didn't just lose the love of your life -- you married him. So why so melancholy, bridey? Odds are you just put on a fabulous party and came home...

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Everything But The Groom

(26) Comments | Posted February 13, 2013 | 1:02 AM

I hate to admit it, but I am pro pre-engagement pinning. Just as I am pro engagement pinning. Seriously, as a wedding planner, I can't think of anything better than a prepared bride; one who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to make a decision. I love those brideys!...

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Don't Forget How to be a Friend Even While You Plan Your Wedding

(53) Comments | Posted January 4, 2013 | 1:01 AM

My best friend is having a double mastectomy tomorrow. Actually, she's CHOOSING to have a double mastectomy. And who could blame her? In September 2011, she found out that she was a BRCA-1 gene carrier, and that her chances of getting breast cancer are at about 87 percent....

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The Trouble with Some Maids of Honor

(9) Comments | Posted December 5, 2012 | 2:04 AM

Today, I find myself in a bit of a quandary... On Bitchless Bride, I try desperately to educate you, bridey, on how to be a better, more understanding and lovely bride so that you get the most out of your wedding planning experience. But, as your educator it...

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You Have What You Have. Be Thankful.

(2) Comments | Posted November 22, 2012 | 2:14 AM

Happy week of Thanksgiving brideys! Hopefully all of you are taking advantage of some time off to focus on your families, stuffing your face with some delicious turkey and pumpkin pie, and of course thinking about everything you are thankful and grateful for in your lives. For instance, I bet...

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Why I Don't Deserve My Husband

(5) Comments | Posted November 9, 2012 | 7:00 PM

I have to admit... As much as I preach about not being a bitch during your wedding planning, it's also important not to be a bitch during your marriage. And frankly, that was me this past weekend. I was a complete bitch to the only person who truly gets me,...

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5 Reasons Why I Eloped

(10) Comments | Posted October 27, 2012 | 2:40 PM

As a wedding planner, I often get asked by my brideys, "Bitchless Bride, where did YOU get married?" Like somehow, my wedding was the holy grail of weddings, and if they mimic my every move, decision and even my wedding dress, then their wedding will be a huge...

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What I Learned from a Groom's Cake

(2) Comments | Posted October 11, 2012 | 12:32 PM

I never used to care about the groom's cake. To me, it was yet another superfluous way for couples to spend money on something that I deemed somewhat pointless. That is, until three days ago when I witnessed the cutest, silliest presentation of a groom's cake that I have ever...

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Wedding Planner or Personal Assistant?

(61) Comments | Posted September 27, 2012 | 12:27 PM

Hmmm... how to say this nicely... I'm your wedding planner, not your personal assistant. There, I said it. Wow, I feel much better. Brideys, it's really important for you to be able to distinguish between the two. No, really it is. You hired me to plan your wedding, not to...

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Gimme Five Minutes, and I'll Give You Your Wedding

(17) Comments | Posted September 21, 2012 | 2:38 AM

So, I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Actually, more like wedding planning soul searching. And maybe it's because I get these ridiculous emails and phone calls from my clients about the stupid crap "keeping them up at night", like... oh I don't know... "Will there be Grey...

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Quit Your Bitchin' Bridey

(22) Comments | Posted September 13, 2012 | 12:15 PM

After an amazing weekend filled with rehearsal dinners, beautiful weddings, "morning after" brunches, everything hurts; everything aches; everything cracks. I feel like an old lady hobbling around looking for my cane. But, the worst pain? My head. And my head hurts from too much thinking, and over thinking, and even...

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The Who, What, When, Where, and Why of Toasting Etiquette

(1) Comments | Posted September 7, 2012 | 12:17 PM

"Simplicity is the glory of expression" said the great American poet, Walt Whitman and after a long, Labor Day weekend of weddings, rehearsal dinners and the "morning after" brunches, I couldn't agree more. I mean, I've been thinking about some of the fabulous toasts I felt lucky enough...

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