My Dog, My God and Cancer

It was late in the afternoon one day last week and I was feeling weepy as I drove to the veterinary oncologist to pick up my dog after a day of tests. Fannie has had two surgeries in the past year to remove malignant melanoma from her tongue, but a new lump recently appeared.

Small dogs are supposed to live a long time, I thought to myself as I headed to the vet clinic. When I adopted her as a puppy, I expected her to live 20 years. But now she has cancer ... and she's only 10!

Tears flowed and my pity party was in full swing.

Then, about halfway to the clinic, my grieving lament was interrupted by a gentle voice: Listen to yourself! You sound like a little kid who got 10 fabulous gifts on Christmas morning ... and now you're crying because you didn't get 20?!

Huh, what? I was startled out of my wallowing. Who was this voice chiding me? Was it God? Was it some long-forgotten wisdom speaking to me from my own subconscious? I don't know who or what the voice was, but it snapped me right out of my self-pity.

Then I laughed ... at myself ... then at the rest of humanity. Isn't that the way we humans are? We're like little kids with greedy minds and hearts -- too often focusing on what we don't have, rather than appreciating everything we do have.

How could I have been so ungrateful? Fannie and I have enjoyed 10 love-filled years together: thousands of belly rubs, dozens of road trips, hundreds of sunset walks, countless laughs over doggie escapades, and many an afternoon nap spooning with her, my face buried in the soft, thick fur on the back of her neck. Ten years of wonderful experiences and beautiful memories ... such blessings!

(Photo credit: Frank Bruynbroek. Used with permission.)

Cancer doesn't make one whit of difference to Fannie. She lives each moment, each hour, each day -- happily doing what dogs do -- taking in all the scents, sights, sounds in the world around her. For a dog, every day is Christmas. But unlike her human companion, Fannie doesn't whine for more -- she just takes things as they come, happily, gratefully.

My dog is my teacher -- she reminds me to enjoy simple pleasures and to live fully today. Cancer is my teacher -- it reminds me that everything is impermanent and everyone dies. Cancer makes my life sweeter -- every belly rub is more luxurious, every sunset walk more delicious, and every snuggle more heavenly. Fannie and cancer and I live together in peace.

God is in charge ... and the world is unfolding as it should.

Fannie's Facebook Fan Page is for all who love dogs, cats, and all God's creatures: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Fannie/120450852428

 

Follow BJ Gallagher on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BJ_Gallagher

Comments

[feistywoman]

10:16 PM on 02/14/2012

Thank you for these words of wisdom. Although the issue I've been challenged with is not cancer and my dog, your words were incredibly helpful to me, and exactly what I need to hear.

[Canary503]

09:42 PM on 02/14/2012

I clicked to read this as my dog, too, is undergoing cancer treatments at the present. I have had the same thoughts as the author---that when our pets days are numbered, we are reminded that none of us has any guarantees and we need to live in the moment, extract the most joy and appreciation from everything that we receive in that moment---the breeze in our face, the vision of the blue sky, the smile or wave from a neighbor, the opportunity to help a stranger, and so on. I want my dog to enjoy each day that he has and I know that I want to enjoy each moment that I have with him.

[Eryka Kahunanui]

12:52 PM on 02/14/2012

Love this. :) I think dogs were blessed when they skipped the line handing out self-pity. They are able to live each moment as though there were none before and none that follow. They don't feel bad for themselves, they just feel. It's such a blessing. Thankfully, we're able to feel the same - we just have to get over ourselves first. That's the hardest part of being human, I think. ;-) Thank you for sharing your's and Fannie's story.