I have this habit of asking people what they do for a living. More often than not, they either hate their jobs or maybe they're just bored. I then ask them, "Let's say I could wave a magic wand and give you the perfect job, career or profession. What would you do?" What's interesting is that their secret gig usually isn't crazy, out of reach or unrealistic. The accountant doesn't want to play next to Kobe Bryant. The middle-aged lawyer has no eyes to be an astronaut. It's more like they want to be writing a novel, painting, or be hosting a radio talk show. So, when I ask them, "What's stopping you?" it all begins. I don't want to use the word "excuse" -- that makes it sounds like they're lazy. That's hardly the case. More than likely they're afraid. And that's what this post is about -- seeing if we can figure out what's stopping us from doing and getting what we want. I always wondered what it would be like for these people at the end of their lives, looking back perhaps disappointed, maybe even angry that they didn't take a chance.
I knew this guy who was a doctor. He hated it. He did it because his father insisted that he go to medical school. His real dream was to play music. He wanted to be known as "The Rock Doc."
A good friend of mine owns a famous restaurant. His place is loaded with celebrities. He wants out. He'd rather be a yoga instructor and a business coach or better yet a combination of both. Yet the velvet cage of power, money and prestige holds him back.
Another physician I know pines to leave his reasonably successful New York City practice and write novels in Vermont.
A singer is trapped in the body of a network television producer. The list goes on.
For decades, my wife, Susan Yager, had a successful career in the home furnishings direct marketing industry. She was really quite good at it, but she was losing interest. Her real passion in life was food. So, she decided to get a Master's in Food Studies. I asked her what she wanted to do with this new degree. She said she honestly didn't know. She just wanted to learn about food. In the course of her studies, she discovered she could write. I mean really write, really well. She has a book that's about to be released called The Hundred Year Diet. America's Voracious Appetite for Losing Weight. Is she making a ton of money at it? Not yet, but she loves it. Getting up in the morning and sitting in front of her laptop is something she looks forward to.
If you're one of the fortunate ones who enjoys what you're doing, be grateful. But if you're not, what's stopping you?
What stops us is more about fear than money. I'm not saying that you have to hand in your resignation as a software designer; clearly you have to pay the bills. My wife continued working while she was in graduate school. But you still can write at night or paint early in the morning. You can start your own Internet talk radio show on the weekends. You may even find out that you are really good at your dream job and discover that you can make a living doing something that you love. Or you may learn the opposite--you really don't enjoy the work nearly as much as you thought you would. And that's fine, too.
So, what about you? What prevents you from doing what you want to do? Or perhaps you have crossed the line and now work at something you used to just dream about. Leave me your comments; so we can all learn something about this together.
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Thanks for your wonderful comments.
I, too spent a lot of time in the media. The truth is and I'm sure you know this, media as we know it is rapidly changing. My adivise to you is take charge of your life and your career before change is forced upon you.
Our lives go by rapidly, too. Imagine yourself as an old person toward the end of your life wondering how your time on earth could have been even more satisfying and meaningful (and maybe more lucrative) if you had followed your dream.
I'm not suggesting quiting your job immediatly but couldn't you go to school while you are still working?
Best of luck to you,
Bob
It's beyond "fear" - it's common sense not to destroy yourself (and your family).
It is a true luxury to be able to ponder beyond "subsistence."
That said, those who have that luxury should take advantage of it.
I agree with you that financial, social and familly considerations are not unimportant. But your life and what you want and need to do is important, too.
I wonder if there is a way for you to pursue what you want while keeping those practical considerationis in mind, too?
Bob
I'm a big believer in optimism in opportunity (think it, do it). However, sticking with an opportunity you "don't mind" seems to be reason enough to not pursue a real passion. Fear of community disapproval, hesitation in the unknown and most of all, financial uncertainty seem to be the primary drivers behind the stagnated pursuit of one's dream job.
I think we need more examples of entrepreneurs who have taken the leap-of-faith...something to show that there is benefit in risk. I always hear, "do it while you're young" when really I think your wife's patience to pursue was probably one of the main reasons she's so happy with her new endeavor. Interesting situation at the least...
Once you realize you can do it, the next step is a bit more daunting. You have to commit to it. YOu have to move from "Gee, I wish I could...." to "I am doing this!"
What's stopping me? Me!