01/31/2006 09:59 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

BSOTU: Advanced Energy Initiative Which Won't Work

" So tonight, I announce the Advanced Energy
Initiative - a 22-percent increase in clean-energy research at the
Department of Energy..."

Great idea, wrong administration. We won't get more hybrid cars or alternative clean-burning fuels. We'll get fun Bush/Cheney technologies like "No Spill Oil" and "Clean Filth" and "The SUV That Runs on Kittens" and something inexplicably called "The Human Animal Hybrid" -- oh wait...

"Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit ... creating human-animal hybrids."

I'm no science guy, but that sounds gross.