From The Makers of The Global Struggle Against Extremism

08/10/2005 05:42 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

In addition to (not so) secretly endorsing torture, the Pentagon announced Wednesday that it's also endorsing the most awkwardly named event in the history of commemorative events: the America Supports You Freedom Walk.

The September 11, 2005 event will commemorate the fourth anniversary of 9/11, culminating in a free concert by country musician Clint Black. In fact, the walk begins at the Pentagon and ends at the concert.

Back to the name. At first glance, "America Supports You Freedom Walk" looked like a typo which was intended to read: "America Supports Your Freedom Walk". Well of course America supports my freedom. In fact, it's no stretch to say that America is single-handedly responsible for my current socio-political "freedom" status. Whether America supports my silly bowl-legged freedom walk is another story, but I try not to perform my freedom walk in public anyway.

However, upon further investigation, the title is as it reads in the Pentagon's press release. America Supports You Freedom Walk. Even more awkward. America supports me freedom? Excellent. Written by the same wordsmiths who gave us "The Global Struggle Against Extremism".

For usage in a sentence, here's Clint Black:

"I am proud and honored to be part of the America Supports You Freedom Walk to honor the victims of 9/11 and to support our men and women in uniform," Black said.

But perhaps Clint Black isn't enough incentive to abandon your plans to privately and respectfully mourn and commemorate the day. So, like a really bad radio station, the Pentagon has included... Free prizes.

According to the Freedom Walk Web site, the first 1,000 people to arrive will receive an official America Supports You campaign lapel pin.

Score! Rumor has it that the first 10 marchers for you freedom will get a chance to enter the Rummy-Tron glass booth filled with $1000 in "free cash". Sadly, there's been no confirmation of donkey basketball, and in case of "thunderboomers" no rain location has been announced.

The victims of 9/11 don't need Clint Black and free prize give-aways. The soldiers in Iraq definitely don't need Clint Black (unless he's performing within walking distance of, say, Fallujah). They need armor. They need equipment to survive. They need fair treatment by their government. They need to come home now.

(Footnote: It might appear as if "America Supports You" is a well-meaning grassroots organization. At the bottom of the site, you'll be surprised to read: " is an official U.S. Department of Defense website.")