Iowa Republicans To Choose Their Favorite Fearmonger
Thursday night, Republicans in Iowa will gather in various caucus locations to choose the candidate who will do the best job of scaring the fucking shit out of America.
Months ago, the most overzealous fearmonger of the group, Rudy Giuliani, pulled out of Iowa and the resulting vacuum sucked Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney into the shared role of scaring the fucking shit out of Iowa. Since then, both have proved to be equally qualified in this regard.
Additionally, with the exception of 1980 and 1988, the Iowa Caucus has correctly chosen the eventual Republican nominee. It's also worth noting that the Iowa Republicans have elevated some serious wackaloons and hoopleheads into the top three.
Pat Robertson leg-pressed his way to second in the 1988 Iowa Caucus. In 1996, Pat Buchanan narrowly missed victory by three percentage points. Three points. This demands restating: Pat Buchanan achieved second place in Iowa and, in the view of Republican caucus-goers, was only three points less qualified to be president than Senator Bob Dole. In the 2000 caucus, Iowa Republicans thought John McCain was less qualified to be president than Alan Keyes who placed third. Senator McCain placed a distant fifth.
So not only do Iowa Republicans have a flair for choosing the presumptive nominee, they also possess an uninterrupted predilection for championing crazy people who use fear to better their political chances.
It's a lot of pressure. It's a matter of life or death -- and it all comes down to Thursday night. Huckabee or Romney. Who's crazier, Iowa?
You can choose Mike Huckabee, who said to Tim Russert on Sunday:
"But remember that [the president's] most single -- critical job is that of preserving and protecting the American people."
Huckabee is clearly referring to the Presidential Oath of Office here. Of course he totally misquoted the thing with phrasing that awkwardly reminded me of "putting food on your family." The oath says nothing about protecting and preserving the people, but rather:
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."
The Constitution, it says. The president swears (or affirms) to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution. Not the people. Huckabee's stated goal, rather, is to preserve the people first and worry about the Constitution later because the evildoers will kill us otherwise. On the upside, no matter the outcome of Thursday night, this is probably the closest Huckabee will ever come to publicly reciting the actual presidential oath.
Running second to Huckabee is Mitt Romney whose ability to scare the fucking shit out of America has surged recently, especially when he told the Boston Globe:
"Our most basic civil liberty is the right to be kept alive."
The right to be kept alive, eh? Surely it's more concise than Huckabee's awkward mangling of the Founder's intentions -- and he's not misquoting the presidential oath in the process.
But Romney's talking about wiretapping here and he believes that "the right to be kept alive" is more important than the Fourth Amendment -- hell, more important than all other civil liberties combined. He's also missing the entire point of the Declaration of Independence which enumerates certain unalienable rights. "Life" is listed in there, but liberty and the pursuit of happiness are given equal weight. Sorry, Mitt.
Patrick Henry in particular had something to say about "the right to be kept alive." Ironically, a derivation of Henry's famous quote happens to be the slogan of New Hampshire: "Live Free or Die." But New Hampshire is next week.
"Our most basic civil liberty is the right to be kept alive." Do we need any further proof of how severely the Bush Republicans have bastardized the founding intentions of our nation: the intention of bravery in the face of fear -- the intention of liberty in the face of oppression?
Now, hundreds of years later, the Bush Republicans have outspokenly rewritten Patrick Henry's maxim and they're proud to live under the motto: "Give me liberty... unless it interferes with keeping me alive. Wahhh! Help!" Acquiescence and submissiveness is now somehow patriotic. As long as we keep shopping, we won't notice what's being done to the Constitution.
Deliberately scaring the American people -- political terrorism -- remains the single most effective Bush Republican strategy. It's shocking how quickly and willingly certain Republicans cave under the threat of attack, no matter how implausible the source. Torture, wiretap, and roll back their civil liberties, just so long as they aren't killed!
And the Bush Republicans fancy themselves the manly ones. That's rich.
Maybe Bush Republicans have taken their freedom for granted; consequently, they're all too willing to hand it over when their fight-or-flight instincts are triggered by the color-coded horror stories -- the toe-monster-under-the-bed tall tales spun by their heroes President Bush and Vice President Cheney. And Thursday night, a Republican successor will be chosen to carry on the work of scaring the fucking shit out of America -- a "manly man" Bush Republican who would rather we live in perpetual fear than to defy the terrorists by vigorously preserving, protecting and defending the Constitution of the United States.
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I think I perceive a subtle hint of hate and Hate Mongering in Mr. Cesca's post. I had hoped that the relentless campaign of hate that has gone on since 2000 would come to an end when Bush was no longer a candidate.
But alas! Rather than stopping the hate campaign, the haters are simply choosing new victims for their hate and demonization.
Please let me know how the Constitution has been changed. That is something that I would be very concerned about if it was true. I can't imagine how news of those changes hasn't made the papers.
Huckabee had a particularly strong performance on Leno last night. Republicans in Iowa may pick him simply because he's the only one of their candidates who seems to be a real person. It may be that Republicans feel the same things about their presidential candidates that Democrats feel when they look at their leaders in congress: abandonded and betrayed.
I think it's doubtful that they will make their choise based on the principals that caused their demise, more likely, they will pick someone who can seem to be pulling the GOP back together again.
Huckabee's last volley on Leno was very poetic. After he endorsed Obama as the Democrat he'd most like to see win the nomination, he said that Americans are tired of "horizontal" politics: only moving left or right, but never up.
It sounds to me like Republicans are as sick of Bush, and Karl Rove as we are, which makes sense when you consider what they've done to their party.
Obama in '08
Where have you gone Bugs Bunny? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
Since all the candidates running are cartoon characters, I figure the best way to describe them is using, well, cartoon characters. Unfortunately, there’s no witty and clever Bugs in this crowd but let’s see what we've got:
Rudy "Tasmanian Devil" Giuliani: Hard to get any good quotes out of him as he’s all unintelligible sound and fury signifying nothing. But we get the general idea: Kill them all and let God sort 'em out.
Mitt "Daffy Duck" Romney: "I may be a coward, but I’m a GREEDY coward!" With his perpetual inferiority complex with being a Mor-, err duck, poor Mitt – if that’s his real name – will always be a Chris-, err, Bugs Bunny wannabe.
Mike "Elmer Fudd" Huckabee: Good, ol’ affable Elmer – not a brain in his head! "Be vewwy, vewwy quiet...I'm hunting infidel wabbits!" If God has truly sent him, then it’s truly a sign we need to apologize to God.
John "Yosemite Sam" McCain: A man who aims to shoot straight – literally! He’s going to make the world a better place one bullet at a time. "Oh, yeah? Well, I talk LOUD, and I carry a BIGGER stick! And I use it, too!"
Fred "Foghorn Leghorn" Thompson: Poor Fred is DOA, already blown out of the water. "Fortunately, I keep my feathers numbered for just such an occasion."
Welcome to your 2008 election, America! You’ve turned into one big joke.
Hello my Name is The Thinker and I am a Patriot.
We can no longer freely protest due to the risk a homeland $ecutity SS officer may put us on a list as a terrorist. This is largely due to the governments’ T.W.O.T. (The war on Terror) A good stun gun experience might bring me around to a more popular social stance. Maybe a dose of water boarding or a visit from the IRS would straighten me up! All tinfoil hat talk our government is far too civilized to violate freedoms for power or money!
America is in a TOTAL state of Fascism. Our CIA funds Middle East Patsy’s with taxpayer’s money then creates a coo to shift support and profit some silent lobbyist funded backer.
Our condition is further complicated by the talking head spin masters who further muddy the waters of denial.
Democrat or Republican its all the same. Special interest groups will do anything to protect the cash cow. Corporate backed policy will not allow politicians to work for the people. It is no accident where we are as a Nation: open borders, failing dollar, out of control wars, police state, this is the plan. Buckle up; put your helmet and cups because they are doing it again right now! This illusion of an election is a critical crossroads in American history. Will the people react? Or will Americans be passively hearded into a police state by FASCISM?
It is ironic we allow billions/ trillions of dollars to be spent in foreign aid in the name of democracy and our election process and democracy is so biased, rigged, corrupt, and broken.
Even the French (of all people) are standing up to government that threw them overboard.
Our American Blue-Ribbon Democracy will not be changed by conventional rigged voting, letter writing, or the fascism version of the democratic process.
Prayer, guns, gold & silver, water & Food.- laugh while you can.
Bob I applaud you, especially for that opening line.
Either they don't know or they don't care. Either way, bad news.
You mean fear mongering like:
Bush is Hitler.
Global Warming is destroying the world.
These days, I just turn the channel when the words TERRORIST or ISLAMA FACIST are mentioned. It has become this new right wing vocabulary. My take?? If we elect someone again that will make the world like us again...then maybe we will begin to feel a lot safer.
"And Bush Republicans fancy themselves the manly ones"
Yeah, and for a real litmus test of who's scared shitless and who's got real courage, look to see what the reaction is when those showing the most courage are not men, but women.
Seriously, does coarse language serve any good purpose?
Some of the greatest writers I've ever read, reached far beyond that meager handful of silly words Mr. Cecas and some of the bloggers herein use repetitiously to the point of disminishing return.
One beloved, respected and widely read columnist for the Denver Post used a multitude of fun, funny, descriptive and educational words, never resorting to the what...five or six silly words...to articulate his stories.
Writing very plain, he was not interested in verbal gymnastics. He used words like "swell," as in "Even though Joe had to push his old battered truck, a lot, he still thought it was pretty swell, and kept a nice shine on it."
Yeah, like democrats run on anything but fear - fear of global warming, fear of big oil, fear of free trade...the democrats have nothing to offer but fear itself.
Remember one of the first Democratic debates that Mike Gravel attended? They were having a back and forth about how to deal with Iran. Obama and Clinton were trying to out-hawk one another at which point Obama said, "ALL options would be on the table." That's when Mike Gravel said, "THESE PEOPLE SCARE ME!!" Yes, having a pip squeak like Barack Obama ready to hurl nuclear weapons into The Middle East is really NOT the best person to be the head of the area of the planet formally known as "the FREE world".
http://static.crooksandliars.com/2008/01/surveillance-societies-map1.jpg
The Democrats are every bit as scary as the Republicans!
They went along with The U.S. Patriot Act right after 9/11 without even having read it! Then came the illegal "Shock and Awe" and occupation against Iraq which Bush admitted when asked, "What did Iraq have to do with 9/11?" and he quickly answered, "Nothing!!"
After that the Democrats tripped over themselves to go along with waterboarding and other forms of torture. They all signed on to "The Military Commissions Act" and every other rotten piece of legislation that would strip the American People of our God-given and Constitutional civil rights.
There is only one candidate I trust with my life and my vote and that is Ron Paul. He is the only candidate who I've heard denounce the Patriot Act, The Military Commissions Act, the loss of habeus corpus, torture and waterboarding, renditions, and especially he is against the seizure of Executive Powers that Bush has taken, the signing of the various unconstitutional Presidential Directives and his total miss-use of Signing Statements.
Ron Paul's speech on "Executive Powers:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7493899900883927358&loc=interstitialskip
I don't expect to see this posted. A Democrat voting for Ron Paul is probably too much for Arianna Huffington to stomach.
"But remember that [the president's] most single -- critical job is that of preserving and protecting the American people." Huckabee
Just take a look at who's gettin' the big bucks from the Mason jar industry.
Thank you MikeinMaine for the music site - Lonely Synapse in GWBs brain is good too!
As ever, love you Bob!!
del 8300
ie 7
Translation of article,any Republican I don't agree with is a fearmongering wacko. As usual you are taking Huckabee and Romney out of context. When did Mitt Romney ever say that he would suspend the Constitution or the 4th Amendment in particular? I am more scared of individuals like Hillary who apparently had no problem with obtaining 1000's of FBI files of political adversaries. What do you think of that?
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