It's Rudy's Favorite Day In The Whole Wide World!

Oh what it must be like to be in the company of Rudy Giuliani today -- his favorite day in the whole wide world. September the 11th. It's like his (political) birthday and his (political) Christmas all rolled into one. The preceding weeks marked by Rudy's persistent begging, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Rudy's entire political career is built around this day. Without it, he surely wouldn't be running for president. That much is clear. He needs September 11th as his political life's blood, but more importantly, he needs you to remember this day in order for him to get his fix.

He's a 9/11 vampire, complete with the Gary Oldman hair line.

If Republican voters don't think of September 11th when they think of Rudy Giuliani, then he's dead -- relegated to the status of nothing more than that suspiciously liberal bug-eyed wop sandwiched uncomfortably between Spray-On Romney and Fred Thompson. The Rudy campaign wants him to be regarded as synonymous with September 11th, second in memory only to the fallen towers themselves.

But imagine being in the company of a man who, in the course of a normal day, says the words "September the 11th" more often than all the words you and I speak in a day combined. Now imagine being around that same person on September 11th. Now couple that with the fact that it's his entire world and the bringer of all things good in his political and personal future. I mean, look at the front page of his website:

The Rudy campaign site was quite literally all about September 11th. At first glance, fine. We've all taken a moment to honor the lives lost on that day and, in our own way, remember.

Yet Rudy went further by including an historical quote -- an historical quote by the famous 9/11 hero Rudy Giuliani (evidently they couldn't find any other heroes to quote from 9/11, which is weird because there were hundreds of them).

And the quote appears under a line of text which summarizes his entire campaign: "We will not forget." Actually, the full version reads, "We won't let you forget because if you do, we're fucked. So we're going to desperately pound it into your brain like we're packing sausages -- raping your memory of those events to the point of cynical meaninglessness."

No campaign in recent memory has been quite this macabre, with the sole exception of Bush/Cheney 2004 of course, and I can't imagine another campaign ever topping Rudy's for its sheer lack of all shame and dignity.

Ultimately, Rudy Giuliani doesn't have a chance in this race. However, he has yet to breach the point of no return. He can turn back now and still run on his other, um, qualifications. He has a fleeting opportunity to back off this contemptible exploitation of the bloodiest single day in recent American history.

Or he can be remembered as that Bram Stoker picture above: nothing more than a ghoulish caricature who brazenly convoluted his diaphanous reputation with the reputations of actual American heroes -- for fun and personal reward.

Comments

[americanwhocares]

I loved your insight Bob. As you said Bob, Rottin' Tootin' Rudy has a zero chance of being elected to anything, let alone the Presidency, but all the money that the jackass republicans send to him are just wasted, life is good. Cannot wait for Jan 2009 when all the "loyal bushie" are forced cockroaches vacate the government offices they have disgraced. The fumigators are going to make a lot of money during that time as they attempt to cleanse the American citizen property of the slime left behind by the republicans.

[Maschine]

therealrudy.org

the next three episodes should nail his coffin shut.

That is if the MSM has the guts to show it. Mind you HuffPo has nothing to say about it.

It's not the fundamentalists that will destroy the US, it's the SILENCE

[Maschine]

Rudy is a con artist who'll use anyone or anything to get what he wants.

Just a tip, look at how he treated his wife, and more to the point , the incredible embarrassment for his children. Some say, personal issues shouldn't be a factor, how can't it, if he's going to fck over his family for his own selfishness, you really think he's going to give a sht about you when he's elected. Come on, wake up, you can't really be conned for another 4 years...ooops.., hold on, hillary might get elected. Damn, its like teh US has no chance..his

[dabronx]

No one seems to be able to answer the question..What exactly did Mr.Rudy do that would earn him the title of "Americas Mayor"..?He got his suit dirty and made lots of money from the catastrophe. He is as much a hero as is Slyvester Stallone is the Heroic ,patriotic
champion in his "Rocky" movies.Rocky 1-2-3-4-5
etc...etc.or as much as the "Founding Fathers"
were interested in Liberation for the Native Americans..Women..Non Land owing citizens...ohh i almost forgot Slavery..!!

[jules233]

Bush and Rudy must both view 9/11 as one big gift that keeps on giving. That tragedy has allowed both of them to remain on stage far longer than might otherwise have been possible. Their incessant litany of "post-9/11 world", "war on terror", "Islamo-fascists", etc., masks their complete lack of understanding of any issue other than never-ending war (in which they, of course, play the part of the spectator). From what I've read about Giuliani's proposed foreign policy, he aims to be an even bigger bully to the world than the inept loser we are stuck with now, and for some reason, nobody confronts him on it. Again, more pandering for "Aegri Somnia"(a sick man's dreams).

[BJG]

This post was so bloody awesome I'm going to send it out as my holiday greeting card
to ALL my friends and family for every single holiday in existence until this no good lying sonofabitch bastard is finally gone. Boy did you nail him, the only thing you left out was
his performance on Meet The Press that following Sunday which personified all you stated. Name ONE thing he did that any other mayor wouldn't have done or better yet, far better than this bastard did? How he continue's to exploit these poor families is truly despicable.

[bushdoescrack]

excellent column, you nailed rudy as the fake he is, don't cry rudy, your mascarra will run.

[magen]

Let Rudy be President of 9/11 since he loves it sooooo much.

Don't let him be President of the US.

[walktothesea]

Bob... I love you. LOVE YOU.

Why is it that people don't see The Dread Crossdresser Guilliani for the scumbag he is? The only problem with him is that he is going to make Fred look like a reasonable alternative if picked out of the lineup of losers the GOP is putting up.

[RobertaWa]

I do believe that we were all desperate for leadership on that day. Our president was nowhere to be found.

We took whatever we could get and Rudy was it.

Whoever he is now is not the same person we saw that day. A leader is someone you can look up to and feel confidence in. As far as I can tell that was Rudy's 15 minutes.

Now we need to find someone who can do what he did that day for at least 4 years.

[Grizelda]

I am sick and tired of Ghouliani glorifying himself over the burned and bloody bodies of those who died on September 11. He uses the gruesome deaths of people better than he as a photo op and camouflage for his absymally bad judgment.

Bernie Kerik, anyone?

[zendem1]

Why doesn't Rudy just tattoo "9/11" onto his forehead. That way we all get the message and he doesn't have to mention it again.

[JumpyPants]

BRILLIANT!

As usual, Bob. Freaking brilliant.

[shanghaiduck]

Giuliani earned his brand name as "America"s Mayor„¢" simply by being the guy who was mayor. It could have been anyone. If the attacks had been directed at the local animal shelter, Thomas Frieden would have rocketed to stardom as "America"s Dogcatcher."

And the mess he made was the NY equivalent of Iraq: greed, ego, bad planning, and incompetence turning a disaster into an irredeemable clusterfuck that will take generations to recover from. At least he was just another victim, rather than the aggressor, I suppose.

Despite his name being forever associated with the day of the disaster itself, his name is not associated at all with any efforts to actually help the victims, their families, or the emergency responders. Or even "his city" Why not?

Because he DOESN'T GIVE A CRAP.

All he cares about is his own lust for power and personal gain.

Google "Giuliani profit 9/11" and get about half a million responses detailing his quest for pelf and the resulting anger about it.

Google "Giuliani help victims 9/11" and get about half a million responses -- detailing his quest for pelf and the resulting anger about it.

He's a Poster for Republican Dead Soul Syndrome. A Giuliani presidency is a worst-case scenario for a post-Bush America. The last thing we need right now is another sociopathic Republican ghoul looking to suck America dry so he can stuff his pockets and run.

Geez, Republicans. Your obsession with little weasels is a SICKNESS.

[givemycountryback]

I can't stand the man. Reminds me of the house elf in Harry Potter. On that day, he was doing his job which I guess was to run around covered in dust in front of the camera. I don't like his morals either. He moves his bimbo into the same house where his wife is living. That takes balls. And that kerik guy who was always with him, isn't he mafia? If the repugs put this guy up, it shows they have no morals either, which we already knew. I thnk Mayor Nagin in NO did a better job in his crises considering the admin just sat back and watched people starve and drown. That man must have PTSD after that experience. I admired his spunk through the whole redeal.