Killing Iranian Civilians Isn't Hilarious, Senator McCain

Senator McCain has famously said, "Only a fool or a fraud talks tough or romantically about war."

How, then, should we describe a clearly unbalanced presidential candidate who jokes about killing innocent civilians as part of a larger war-mongering foreign policy? "A fool or a fraud" barely cracks the surface. There are a few other f-words that might suffice, but in lieu of those, might I suggest "unhinged maniac" or "tasteless hack" or "creepy, twitchy, psychotic hoople without any internal monologue who shouldn't be allowed within a hundred square miles of the nuclear launch codes"?

Yesterday, Senator McCain was asked about an AP story in which it was revealed that during the Bush years there has been a significant increase in American exports -- including cigarettes -- to Iran. First, Senator McExperience admitted that he hadn't heard about this news story. That's bad. But not bad enough for the corporate media to wet-nap the barbeque sauce off their fingers so as to successfully pen a news item about it. But it doesn't matter because Senator McShecky followed his ignorance with this reaction to the cigarettes exports:

"Maybe that's a way of killing them."

Then the uncomfortable, jittery, bottled-rage laughter and, "That was a joke!"

I sincerely hope so. I hope the Iranian government gets the correct tone-of-voice in the translation, especially if what Senator Jackie McJokeman and his neocon wack pack are saying about Iran's impending nuclear arsenal is true. I can only imagine how the Cheney-ish warhawks would react if Ahmedinejad cracked a similarly unfunny zinger about killing our citizens -- or the citizens of Israel.

But it wasn't just a joke about killing Iranian citizens -- a people who thirst for American-style democracy; a people who held spontaneous candlelight vigils in Tehran following September 11; and, most importantly, a people who have little or nothing to do with Iran's alleged nuclear weapons program. It wasn't just that. It was also a joke about, of all things, lung cancer. And not just regular, horrible lung cancer, but weaponized lung cancer. Which, as we all know, is always funny, especially in the larger context of a wisecrack about murdering civilians.

And that's the problem. If he doesn't have the judgment to discern between appropriate, tasteful jokes and indiscriminate, Tourette's outbursts then why should anyone trust him to be the commander-in-chief of the world's most powerful military?

No-one should. Because, if nothing else, this episode goes a long way towards underscoring that the presumptive Republican nominee has lost his shpadoinkel.

He's finally proved himself to be a crackpot who has somehow bought off the very serious corporate media with his awesome recipe for dry-rub in exchange for wide-berth latitude -- so much so that too many of his otherwise self-destructive remarks are simply laughed off. Oh look -- HOO-HOO! -- Pappy is going on and on about Iran again. Pass the cole slaw, Stretch. It's a remarkable level of ambivalence considering how the corporate media has been excoriated for its narcolepsy during the lead-up to the invasion of Iraq.

Meanwhile, Senator Obama's various remarks, as witnessed during the recent frenzy about the senator's Iraq policy, are parsed, masticated and purple-nurpled by everyone with a very serious haircut. I can only imagine the breathless, hyperkinetic why-oh-why-oh-why reactions from the commentariat had Senator Obama -- or worse, Reverend Wright -- said such a thing about Iran, especially on a day when we've learned that Iran has successfully tested long-rage missiles. But naturally, the Democratic candidate is always the experimental group and never the control group.

Even still, the question being presently discussed on the cable news shows is, Which candidate is better suited to confront the issue of Iran? Is it the candidate who has pledged aggressive diplomacy? Of course not. Aggressive diplomacy never works -- too girlish and effete... except during the Cuban Missile Crisis and the entire American-Soviet Cold War when aggressive diplomacy worked and when a shooting war would have escalated into Armageddon. Nope, the presidential candidate who the pundit-bots have canonized as the man best suited to balance upon the razor's edge between war and peace happens to be the fidgety lunatic suffering from involuntary giggle fits and who just last night joked about killing Iranian civilians with, of all things, weaponized cancer. Very serious! And people allow this crazy person to operate a propane grill?

Speaking of crazy people, President Bush's inappropriate smirking while discussing serious affairs has been an on-going yard stick with which to measure his utter lack of sanity. But I submit to you that Senator McCain is far worse. Irrespective of how awful the content of this so-called joke happened to be, the fact the he has repeatedly blurted out such ridiculousness (see also "bomb-bomb-Iran" and, well, you know, calling his wife the c-word) ought to raise serious doubt about both his mental capacity as well as his morality -- his sense of right and wrong.

Because even the most gifted comedians know where to draw the line, and when they do "go there" they do so with precision and extreme care. Not everyone is George Carlin or Bill Hicks or David Cross or Louis CK. But the notion that Senator McCain believes that he possesses not just similar comedic skills but, more importantly, similar moral latitude makes him patently unqualified to be president. After eight years of a president who laughs whilst talking about Iraq casualties, we don't need another fool, fraud or doof who's incapable of seeing the threshold between where dignity ends and crazy begins.

Bob Cesca's Goddamn Awesome Blog! Go!

Comments

[Infokronea]

Excellent observations, but are you really surprised? After all, Iran (and any and all future terrorist acts blamed on same prior to November 2008) is McCain's ticket into the White House, so why shouldn't he make a few jokes at the "enemy's" expense in classic fly-boy fashion? I mean, the party's been scheduled , the cake's been ordered, and the US terrorism data related to Iran has been altered to justify said war in much the same way as Iraq. (Worked on a report for members of the Senate on that a while back, so I'm not talking out of my fanny here.) This includes shifting terror data related to Libya to Iran and elements related to Iran. Ain't that sweet? War, the gift that keeps on giving. And they said Bush couldn't help McCain get elected...hah!!!

[deminmo]

When a large portion of the American people who say
they are conservatives, and support or follow the
Republican party, think bombing Iran is a great idea
then how do you define insanity?
I just suggest those of us who seem to be sane start
getting extra supplies of food and water, an emergency
kit and fortify basements. You can survive a nuclear
war. Maybe.

[kingcityguru]

Why are Liberals so unfunny? (or, more accurately, why are they always so self-important and serious that they have trouble finding things funny?)

Love that Carlin skit on environmentalists. Wonder if any Libs laughed.

[Huffyfan]

Thank You BOB . People like you remind us there are good decent compassionate people in America , no doubt about it . People like Bush and Mccain shame America .

[carlgt1]

why are RepugliKKKans such a-holes, and proud of it, and get away with it? If Obama mentioned something like this the media would be doing backflips (and the Repukes would say "flip flop")!

[swkidder]

Well done.
I always appreciate the overall level of wit and facility with the language that prevails on the Huffington Post.
But it's pieces like this that give you whiplash - the ones that jerk you back and forth between "laugh" and "cringe" - that do tend stand out. :-)

[patianneb]

McCain is profoundly creepy as far as I'm concerned. As for soul?
In his words ..,McCain wrote the following account of his captivity, which was published in U.S. News and World Report - May 14, 1973:
"I think it was on the fourth day [after being shot down] that two guards came in, instead of one. One of them pulled back the blanket to show the other guard my injury. I looked at my knee. It was about the size of a football. When I saw it, I said to the guard, 'O.K., get the officer' . An officer came in after a few minutes. It was the man that we came to know very well as 'The Bug.' He was a torturer, one of the worst fiends that we had to deal with. I said, 'O.K., I'll give you military information if you will take me to the hospital.'

McCain now says it was a coincidence that simultaneously his captors discovered that his father was Adm. John S. McCain Jr., commander of all U.S. forces in Europe and soon-to-be commander of all U.S. forces in the Pacific, including Vietnam. From then on, McCain received treatment not available for other U.S. prisoners of war.

My point is, the guy is what he's always been: A very lucky opportunist who long ago sold his act to the public and has now come full circle and has bought it himself.

[TheLar]

Well done, Bob! Have you been on YouTube lately? :)

McCain Sings "Bomb Iran" Lead Vocals! McCain McKaraoke!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3phka5_fsWU

McCain Bomb Iran War Joke Remix
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UesH_pA-crc

[TRYKER]

The man is simply a crackpot, he's doddering and unhinged .
He doesn't take himself seriously, he really doesn't think he has a chance of winning this election so he can't bother to police his own mouth. He couldn't if he tried, thats kinda the point...he's a loose canon.
He hasn't said anything worthwhile in 20 years and doesn't intend to now. Its just another crap game, he doesn't care if he loses, he wasn't doing anything anyway.
He's just humoring his party and the party is humoring him in return.
They're just wasting our time.

[TRYKER]

Woo, you have that right, sir.

[slaxx]

well...i honestly thought the same thing when i read the article, but of course a pres. candidate shouldn't say that outloud. too bad mccain thinks he's funny.

unfortunately the iranian people are in a similar position as us; their at the mercy of a wackjob administration that doesn't reflect their interests or act on their behalf. they also have a theocratic president who tries to impose religious rule on the many westernized people there (e.g. ahmedinejad instituted a new crack-down on people who didn't follow islamic law, to the dismay of many women there). did you know that the iranian people donated more money to hurricane katrina relief efforts than any other nation?

and who cares if we sell stuff to them, as long as its not arms? at least somebody's buying our crap.

[jackwaddington]

This was not a joke on the part of McCain until he caught his own words. I suspect that as a kid he was the school bully. Do we need another bully boy in the white house?

[Awakenedcitizen]

yup, like Bush was the sadist, blowing up small animals with fire crackers. Even Dr. Phil would warn us to avoid these folks.

[ceti]

When a presidential candidate jokes about killing your citizens, when the daughter of the vice-president calls for attacks, when politicians say an attack in unavoidable, when $400 million are spent carrying out terrorist attacks on your country, when your enemy rehearses an attack, when the most powerful military occupies countries to left and right of you even when the greatest navy sits by your coast, when daily the drum beat of war grows louder, what can you do?

It is frankly amazing how anyone could think of Iran as a threat when its people are living under the shadow of annihilation by a bunch of war-crazed barbarians who have already wrecked whole countries in the region. And to think the Iranian people and not just its leaders are proud enough to face this fear head on.

[legalninja]

To joke about killing ANYONE is disgusting. Get a grip John McCain. Actually, no - keep spewing the nonsense and make Obama's job in November even easier. Repugnicans is right.

[calibpatriot]

I don't believe that a McCain Administration would be any improvement to the Bush Administration. The very fact that after two terms of the disasterous Bush administration the Repugnants would select a virtual George W Bush as their candidate shows how morally and intellectually bankrupt the GOP has become. Abe Lincoln must be turning in his grave.

[AbrahamSadegh]

I am more concerned about John McCain becoming President than I have been concerned about the one who has been one during the past few years - one of the darkest period in our history.

We kill a couple of so called "terrorists" here and there and then make millions of enemies needlessly by irresponsible comments about other innocent human beings who happened to be living elsewhere one this planet - our only Home so far in this incredible Universe.

We need to get over this monumental arrogance of believing that we are superior to the rest of humanity and that we have the right to say and do to others what we ourselves would not tolerate for a second.

[mari2JJ]

No, as a matter of fact, they both take equal honors in the stupid arean. bush seems perfectly comfortable with the "collateral" damage in Iraq, and now the huge debt we are in due to Iraq. McCain who used to dissent the Bus policies in the most vocal ways is now "sucking it up" to the Bush neo-con cabal just to get elected. McCain has no morel rudder. You do not need very many analyzing skills to know this as a fact. Elect Obama and be done with this foolishness. Democrats can all try to get Obama to move their way but in the end, we will elect someone with a moral code who is not into strutting and killing people with the drop of a hat. Organize any movement against Obama at our peril.