McCain's Economic Plan: Blurt Out Random Crap

There are several reasons why Senator Obama is enjoying a double-digit lead in the "honest and trustworthy" category (47 percent to 36 percent according the new ABC News/Washington Post poll). First, Senator Obama doesn't, you know, lie to the American people every damn day. Second, Senator Obama didn't vote with the dishonest, corrupt Bush administration 90 percent of the time.

But one of the main reasons why the nation appears to be lining up against Senator McCain's insanely obvious lack of integrity could be because his very serious and mavericky campaign strategy can be described in four simple words:

Blurt Out Random Crap.

"Crap," in this context, is defined as everything from lies to weasel-words to inexplicably weird nonsense. And it seems like Senator McCain does this a lot. So much so that we can only conclude that it's intentional.

The goal: Get McCain on record saying something no matter how ridiculous. This way, he can hit the stump later and boast that he said something with regards to scary stuff in the news. I said something [that didn't make any sense and was probably a lie] and Senator Obama didn't say anything [also a lie]! My friends! And whenever he's accused of routinely blurting out random crap, Senator McCain trucks out the old punishment theorem: If Senator Obama had only agreed to the town halls, I wouldn't be selling-out the last shreds of my honor or integrity just to get elected. Can't you see? Senator Obama turned me into a hack, dammit!

First thing that pops into his head. Is it truthful? Doesn't matter. Sex education for kindergarteners, for instance. "Palin sold her jet on eBay," for instance. Does it even make sense or is it just a bunch of words strung together to form a sentence? Who cares. "President Putin of Germany," for instance. "Delivering bottled hot water to dehydrated babies," for instance.

I'll admit that the latter category is more fun to document. However, the lying is especially infuriating -- and maybe that's the idea -- piss off the liberals. But it can't be helping with independents and undecideds who are discovering quite rapidly that the mythology of "John McCain" doesn't match the real-life John McCain. The Real McCain is rapidly coming into focus for those in the middle. McRage. McLiar. McPanderer. McIncompetent. McBush. And the Obama campaign only needs to tweak these frames. After all, the McCain campaign is doing all of the heavy lifting by itself.

And as we witnessed with the Zapatero episode, as soon as Senator McCain blurts out random crap, his staff scrambles onto the stage with pronouncements and excuses so as to make it seem as if McCain meant to say what he said -- a routine which only serves to compound the farcical nature of it all.

So it comes as no surprise that the McCain-Palin strategy on the economic crisis is to -- that's right! -- blurt out random crap.

All along and without regard to the actual status of the economy, Senator McCain has blurted out the well-known talking point "the fundamentals of the economy are strong." Why? Because that's the Bush Republican position. Those exact words. And shortly after President Paulson announced his bailout plan when it appeared as if we were on the verge of a complete meltdown, Senator McCain, in the most Pavlovian sense, couldn't help himself and -- WHOOPS! -- he said it again. Why? Because that's what he always says about the economy.

When he was immediately and appropriately called out for being a doof, he blurted out that everyone in the world misunderstood him. The "fundamentals," he claimed, meant "the workers." In other words, American workers are strong. What the hell does that have to do with the status of the economy? Does it mean the workforce can lift heavy things -- like factory equipment that's being shipped to China? How does one quantify worker "strength" as an economic indicator? Even if a crazy economist somewhere includes the morale of the workforce as a fundamental of the economy, the McCain campaign clearly overlooked the reality that we've lost 1.75 million jobs this year and unemployment spiked to 6.1 percent two days after Sarah Palin's overrated acceptance speech. Not strong, McCain. Bad! But, then again, he really didn't mean "the workers" in the first place anyway.

When this failed, he blurted out something about averting the impending economic meltdown by convening a government commission, ostensibly to study the urgent crisis and perhaps issue a recommendation sometime in the future. Decisive!

When that didn't work, he called for the firing of the head of the SEC, Chris Cox, even though Phil Gramm, the author of McCain's economic plan (pre-crisis), is also responsible for the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act of 1999 -- a piece of legislation which, along with Reaganomics and Alan Greenspan's love of all things bubble-shaped, is directly responsible for this present mess. Phil Gramm. A man who said that the economic crisis is mostly a figment of our whiny imagination. A man who could be our next Treasury Secretary and steward of the economy. Hire him, but fire the other guy. Because that'll somehow help. Oh, Magoo.

It's worth noting that while that idea was failing, Senator McCain inexplicably called for the firing of the head of the Federal Elections Commission, Donald F. McGahn II. Poor McGahn II. Minding his own business, and suddenly McCain's on television calling him out for screwing the economic pooch.

When that failed, Senator McCain rolled out one of his most egregious lies to date, claiming that Senator Obama, of all people, has been directly responsible for the crisis. Why? Because the former CEO of Fannie Mae, Franklin Raines, once talked on the phone with someone associated with the Obama campaign. Like 16 months ago. And that somehow makes Raines a close economic advisor. Never mind that Rick Davis, McCain's campaign manager, was on the Freddie Mac payroll as recently as a couple of weeks ago.

Which leads us to Senator McCain blurting out that no-one on his staff is associated in any way with Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae.

What's next, McCain campaign? A Mogwai ate a sandwich after midnight; morphed into a Gremlin; then caused the economic crisis? Or will it be Marty McFly's sports almanac screwing up the space-time continuum? Or will it be Reverend Wright putting a curse on the banks? Whatever is next is bound to be crazier than what's already been said.

And now -- wait. What's this? As I wrap this up, it's being reported that Senator McCain wants to delay the debates so he can focus on the economic crisis. Oh, and now he wants to suspend campaigning. If what we've seen from the senator so far is him "focusing" on the economy -- what the hell is he like when he's multitasking? What's next, McCain? Suspending the election?

So what will a McCain administration economic policy look like? From the lack of foresight and leadership we've witnessed so far, we can assume that McCain might choose a new economic policy totally at random, depending on how saucy he feels from minute to minute. "I'll have a muffin with my Egg Beaters, and replace Bernanke with that hooplehead who weedwacks the knoll." Two minutes later... "Hey Phil, we don't need the Nasdaq anymore. Kill it." Two minutes later... "My God! What have I done! Quickly -- nationalize the paintball industry! Go!"

One thing is for sure. Expecting a workable solution to this economic meltdown from a man as knee-jerk, dishonest and incomprehensible as John McCain would be an exercise in national self-destruction. He doesn't have anything real to say, and what he does say, he can't sell. He simply can't do the gig. A vote for McCain-Palin is absolutely a vote for the end of America as we know it.

Bob Cesca's Goddamn Awesome Blog! Go!

Comments

[redpepper]

Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac need to fall flat on their faces. They are not needed. MC Cain knows what to do with the economy Obama does not. Obama has not the slightest clue what to do with the economy. His plan would cause more disruption and a bigger mess. McCain knows what is needed. The American public is not stupid. They know the medi is bias and they know that all the TV stations are slaanted in their reporting. So, guess what. McCain is the right man for the job. And, McCain will win in Novembe, Thank God for that.

[mirandawilde]

"McCain knows what to do with the economy."
Yeah, because McCain said it, so it must be true. Interesting that so many economists don't agree with McCain on that point.

McCain also says that he knows how to get Osama- if he does, why is he holding on to that information? Isn't that aiding a terrorist?

[PT6]

McCain spent his time talking about the TAIL of the BEAST!
Obama spent his time talking about the BODY of the BEAST!

Examples (just a FEW):

$18 Billion in Earmarks -versus- $300 Billion in tax cuts for the RICH!
War stories -versus- the TRUTH about IRAQ and that we must GET OUT!
The Surge -versus- Why DID WE GO INTO IRAQ IN 2003 WITHOUT CAUSE!
Military Strategy/Tactics -versus- Troops in Afghanistan to fight the REAL TERRORISTS!
Phoney health care credits and offsetting taxes -versus- Real Health Coverage

[darker]

I am sorry to say, but McCain spends TOO MUCH TIME GRANDSTANDING and being a drama queen.
Now McCainhas a "Gambling Problem" PLUS his Campaign Has Massive Ties To Gambling Industry?

That does not sound good to me.
We CAN'T AFFORD any more REPUBLICAN BIG SPENDERS.

McCain has been too shifty to convince me he's that reliable. Not.
There's too many doubts or what goes on with McCain behind the scenes.

I'd rather vote for common sense, reliability, responsibility. And THAT'S NOT McCain.

[FMA]

I am so disgusted by Rick Davis and the McCain campaign. Who do they think they are?

Subpoenas? No, we don't have to follow them. We're special.
Palin addressing the American public? We'll get around to it...you know, if there is time.
Deregulation? Yeah, that's a great idea. But only if you are like us, and receive $15,000 a month from different firms.

From whence does this ego come? And why are we allowing it? Where are our expectations?

[jefflz]

McCain was unable make eye contact with Obama which makes him look weak and cowardly. He seemed edgy and uncomfortable throughout. Obama became relaxed and in charge. McCain has been having a tough time zeroing in on a clear message. In part this is because he has changed his message so often - he often reverses position and parrots what Obama says. Earmarks - are his one-trick pony for the economy - he had nothing else to offer except a continuation of disastrous Bush policies. McCain"s failed theatrical ploy of canceling the debate, his failure to dominate Obama on foreign policy and failure to separate himself from the last eight years of the Bush nightmare proved McCain"s undoing. It was frustrating to watch Obama act deferential toward McCain and I have been pleasantly suprised to read in several places that this tactic was deliberate and appreciated by uncommitted voters. Perhaps he is confident enough in his base that he allows us to temporarily writhe in agony while he captures the critical swing votes. Most polls show a wide margin of approval by these voters after the debate. Obama has clearly emerged as the winner.

[bigfated]

PRESIDENT McCAIN? O! GOD HELP US!

[helen]

The double-digit lead was last week / weekend.

Obama still retains a lead and, hopefully, it will continue to build as people see what a charlatan McCain is...

[Boxxphotog]

Consider this: Eventually the mask will fall off.

Live, in true color THE REAL MCCAIN is being revealed. Anyone remember similar warnings that GWB destroys anything he touches. Warnings were ignored, folks were seduced into thinking having a beer with the "plain-speaking" guy in the WH is what America needed/wanted. The country bought it lock and stock. Now here we are...

It is my observation that there are two distinctive characteristics lending success to the RNP at securing elections. 1) Excellence in methods of Distraction; 2) WORDPLAY.

The latest word that both SP and JM have employed to manipulate minds is MAVERICK. Take a moment, examine for yourself what this word also means: (http://define.com/maverick)
According to Moby Thesaurus II by Grady Ward, 1.0:
144 Moby Thesaurus words for "maverick": Bohemian, agitator, alien, ass, aurochs, beat, beatnik, beeves, bigot, bitter-ender, bossy, bovine, brawler, breakaway, bull, bullethead, bullock, character, crackpot, crank, deviant, diehard, dissenter, dogmatist, dropout, eccentric, extremist, fanatic, far out, freak, free and easy, fringy, hardnose, heretic, heretical, hermit, heterodox, hippie, hobo, informal, insubordinate, insurgent, insurrectionary, insurrectionist, insurrecto, intransigeant, intransigent, kine, kinky, kook, last-ditcher, malcontent, meshuggenah, milcher, milker, misfit, mule, muley head, mutineer, natural, neat, nonconformist, nonjuror, nut, odd fellow, oddball, oddity, offbeat, outsider, pariah, perverse fool, pighead, positivist, purist, queer duck, queer fish, queer specimen, rebel, revolter, revolutionary, revolutionist, rioter, screwball, solitary, standpat, standpatter, steer, stickler, stirk, stot, subversive, traitor, tramp, unconformist, unconventional, unfashionable, unorthodox, way out, wisent, yearling, zealot

[olegunny]

Does Obama have a double digit lead? The polls I see are much closer with McCain leading on some of them. Let's not underestimate the opposition. I think the election is a cliff hanger.

[mma0930]

After watching the debate last evening, I was really suprized at how angry McCain is. He never looked
at Obama, just kept gritting his jaw and holding onto the podium, as if he would fall down from angry.
He attacked Obama and kept reminding me of how very old he is. Too old,I'm afraid for this office.
There's a great saying." Can' t teach an old dog new tricks" . He is not capable of rising America's vision to where we need it to go. He is stuck in some era of by gone days. His ways and rules out
outdated ........he made me see how truly stuck he is.
He could not even be a gentleman to Obama ( I think this is more telling than so many things)
Obama comes from a different place and automatically gives you the respect you deserve ....
I have to say I thought Obama did not buy into McCain's chatter of ....when I was in Pakistan
and when I was in blah blah blah......that' really all it became..........mindless chatter.
The difference is so clear, I hope others are feeling it also!
Obama/ Biden 2008!!

[STR8M8]

I couldn't resist re-posting this for all who may have missed it: [Unfortunately, someone else wrote it]

McCain is simply following the time tested political strategy that has served countless politicians, shills, admen, and used-car salesmen-

"If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance,
Baffle 'em with B***S*** !"

[Girlmec]

I tried to find it in the article above....someone let me know if it is there, and even if not, has anyone caught the fact that McCain as saying:

"North Koreans are three inches taller than South Koreans"

That doesn't sound good.

[Audrey704]

Yes I heard it....too.......Sadly enough

[rsaillant1]

That's odd. I heard the opposite.

I thought McSame referenced the fact that the North Koreans were three inches shorter
than the South Koreans...sort of a comment on the inherent repression
(depression-suppression) of the northern regime.

Certainly their leader is no candidate for the NBA.

[hypnotoad72]

And Americans are 4 inches taller too then North Koreans. Wait, what's being talked about again?

[StacyX]

I LOVE THIS THREAD. This really restores my faith in the American people (for the most part...) - I get worried listening to the "McCain is so great; Obama is a socialist" rants of the people I work with (and my mother)

I just joined here to comment, and I'm sure I will have many great things to say in the future(watching the debates and drinking wine, not entirely at my best right now)!

Thank you for being smart :)

S

[Thomei]

Enjoyed this article immensely. Now, isn't it great that the vote for POTUS is secret? Nobody knows which republicans do and do not vote for Barack Obama. LOL

[randomthinker]

McCain is simply following the time tested political strategy that has served countless politicians, shills, admen, and used-car salesmen-

"If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance,
Baffle 'em with B***S*** !"