The Democrats Could Learn A Lot From Larry Craig's Balls

As we all know, Senator Larry Craig is an anti-gay, right-wing zealot and fantastically gifted hypocrite who was arrested while allegedly attempting to solicit gay sex in an airport men's room; he was booked on charges and nationally disgraced.

Despite all of that, Senator Craig has brazenly defied his party and has returned to the senate to help filibuster and obstruct every important piece of legislation the Democrats introduce.

Meanwhile, the Democrats, who we specifically elected to end the occupation of Iraq and, to a lesser extent, check the power of the president, allowed the Republicans to filibuster, 1) an amendment that would've restored habeas corpus, one of our most cherished constitutional rights; and 2) an amendment that would've supported the troops by giving them more family time between tours.

Prior to this embarrassing week of events on the Hill, the Democratic majority has acquiesced on war funding and have fallen over themselves backpedaling as fast as their trembling legs could carry them in the face of everything President Loser and the Republicans have farted in their general direction.

It's clear that the Democrats could learn a lot from Senator Craig's comparatively mighty balls.

(And I hasten to note that there is a dozen or so senate Democrats -- Senators Webb, Dodd, Leahy, Feingold, etc... -- who are most definitely not indicative of their party's recent castrata status.)

Unlike the era prior to the 2006 midterms, suddenly 51 votes -- or 56 votes -- aren't good enough. Somehow, the Democrats have allowed the White House and GOP to obstruct so vigorously that attaining 60 senate votes is the only way to bring a piece of legislation to a vote in the first place. 60 votes, plus or minus a Lieberman. But other than in the blogosphere, we're not hearing protests of obstructionism. We're not hearing vocal demands all across the media spectrum for an up-or-down-vote. Instead we get the idling hum of Senator Reid's voice and a distraction from MoveOn, bless them.

And the president, in his special needs press conference* this week, continued to bully the Democrats as if he's still performing his Vincent Chase from Entourage strut in that flight suit (one of the early indications of the president's move towards, as Keith Olbermann called it Thursday night, a military junta) waving his giant stuffed cod piece with more vigor than Britney's saddlebags at the VMAs.

There is no reason whatsoever why the Democrats need to even acknowledge the existence of the president and his childish disciples in Congress. "Who's that talking? Cornyn? 'The hell's a Cornyn?" After all, the American people want everything the Democrats say they stand for: a rapid end to the war, a restoration of the Constitution, universal health care, clean energy, less outsourcing, and all the rest.

So why, given the choice, do the Democrats, at the expense of their voters, continue to flinch when confronted by the unpopular and widely disgraced Republican Party?

It's because they're locked into bad habits established prior to the invasion and occupation of Iraq. I call it the Dreaded Lieberman-Gephardt-Stockholm Syndrome.

They somehow continue to believe that if they fall too far to the left -- if they take too bold of a fuck you posture -- Karl Rove and Roger Ailes will cold cock them with a rubber bullet -- a massive legal (and illegal) propaganda campaign labeling them as "with the terrorists" or "too French" or whatever lowest common denominator bullshit they yank from their white asses in order to jazz up their ignoramus base.

Restore habeas rights? With the terrorists! Give the troops more time off? The Democrats hate the troops!

This week, for instance, the Democrats should've carpet bombed the media with quotes including the phrase "obstructionist Republicans". The big ticket amendments this week should've been unofficially nicknamed "The Military Families Amendment" or the "Save The Constitution Amendment".

This way, they could saturate the media with quotes like, "Why is Senator McCain against saving the Constitution?" or, "Why is Republican Senator Lieberman against military families?" For fuck's sake, I at least hope the DNC is saving some of the floor debate video for next year. An entire campaign's worth of TV buys could be produced from yesterday's White House and senate floor performances.

But instead of a bold and aggressive Democratic Party empowered by the support of legions of Americans as well as a disgraced and unpopular GOP, we get this bungled and botched week of wet-bread politics. I know we're not supposed to eat our own, but screw that. The Democrats embarrassed, disappointed and pissed me off this week. Have I made myself clear on that yet?

And if that wasn't bad enough, on the campaign front, we have a Democratic presidential frontrunner who released a health care plan this week that's nothing more than a veiled GOP health care plan -- with an extra step or two between your tax dollars and gigantically profitable insurance companies. I'm sure if you asked a policy staffer (in private) why the plan is so fucking awful, they might admit to something like, This is a plan that will actually pass (because of lobbyist support and more bipartisan votes).

It's a plan that smacks of lobbyists and preemptively bipartisan cooperation, when, in fact, Americans are starved for something a thousand times more courageous.

Bill Maher told Wolf Blitzer this week that Senator Craig might bring the whole party down with him. I wish that were true. The truth is that Senator Craig only reinforces the reasons why the Republicans won the week and why the Democrats and, in turn, the American people lost.

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* President Bush in Thursday's press conference: "I heard somebody say, 'Where's Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas." First, huh what? Second, Mandela is still alive.
_________________
Help save John From Cincinnati here. Bill Jacks would do the same for you, ya' mope.

Comments

[Jeffin90019]

I couldn't agree more about the weaklings that comprise most of the Democrats. They couldn't find an invisible piece of toilet paper on a men's room floor if their useless lives depended upon it. That's one of the reasons I officially changed my voter registration to independent. I don't want any federal election funds based on voter registration to go to the DemoCRAPS because of me. Nancy and Harry are as impotent as they come. Nero reigns because we have no organized opposition and a GOP that would rather lose in 08 than say no to their emperor. Thanks for a great article, Bob.

[MrJoyboy]

'Nancy and Harry' sounds like a bad new sitcom on Fox.

[dawlishgal]

You should keep your registration as a Democrat, because then you can vote for people with guts, courage and values when these people mount promary challenges to the wimps who sold out to the Bushies.

Remember, it is people with the strongest convictions who vote in primaries and caucuses.

It is not too soon to be already looking for sane and reasonable people to run against Casey, Klobuchar, Webb, McCaskill and and anyone else of the other new members of the senate who have already proven how unfit they are to serve.

[dawlishgal]

sorry..."PRIMARY challenges"...

Almost every Democrat I know is willing to defect and vote for any viable third party candidate, the sooner, the better. I hope the disillusionment of those who worked the hardest for Democratic victory last November is finally beginning to get through to the turncoats who spit in our faces. Let's hope that 5 years time won't be enough for REAL Democrats to forget their treachery.

[zjr909]

I'm tempted to believe the Democrats actually imagine their persistent cave-in to anything anybody suggests is such a super-duper wiz-bang strategy that they'll win so big in '08 the whole world will stand in awe. More likely, not only will they not take back the White House, they may very well lose control of Congress also. But how would we know if they do lose Congress - that's the real question. Will Fox News let us know? Or will they even know for sure?
If only their cave-ins didn't, one by one, gradually tighten the noose around the American people's necks, we could all just sit back and have a good laugh at their shenanigans. But when they give up habeas corpus without so much as a fight one week then condemn free speech the next week, it doesn't leave much room for humor. Or for hope that sanity can return to government. Does it?

[mae692]

my 5 point plan to end the war
1. Support the Troops - give the bottom 2/3 of the military a 5% raise.
2. Support the Troops - double the size of the military
3. Support the Troops - cancel agreements with all contractors. If they're so patriotic they can enlist (see step 2).
4. Support the Troops - if we really need that many bodies in Iraq reinstitute the draft.
5. What for the mallrats to realize that "Uncle Sam wants you" means them.

Remember - Support the Troops!

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

Huzzah.

Add a point about post-injury care, and let's roll!

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

You need no better example of castrato Dems than the 50 missing nuggets on the 25 who voted to slam MoveOn.org.

[ImpeachmentNOW]

.
Reid and Pelosi proved that they are full of sh*t wimps when they renounced their constitutional duty to impeach the DickNBush criminals for their high crimes and misdemeanors.

Actions speak louder than words, and all I see is these two kissing DickNBush A**.

Best of luck to Sheehan to replace Pelosi.
.

[OckhamsElectricRazor]

Does the Democratic leadership really think they can pull off making us think that corruption, arrogance and incompetence are Republican only problems?

They can expect an anti-incumbant movement not seen since the aftermath of Watergate. Indeed the current leadership should commit now to resign their leadership positions in the next Congress in order to let new Dem blood take charge.

[lgillooly]

Once again,for the millionth time. The media is an arm of the RNC and 91 percent of talk radio is wingnut. This is the number 1 issue to be able to change the dynamics in D.C.

[HamletsMill]

I believe you are correct. It has to be brain chemistry being manipulated through these communication mediums. How can people be this dumb?

[aleco]

Bob, your writing effectively expresses our frustration with both parties. I'm more inclined, however, to agree with "lgillooly" (above) who puts most of the blame on the media. The media is controlled by corporate America and the neocons, all of whom have a vested interest in prolonging this conflict in the Middle East. I know there are some exceptions in MSM like the New York Times. I just wish more people like you could go on TV and be allowed to challenge the bullshit that comes from Bush and the Republican party. God bless Keith Olbermann and Arianna Huffington! If it weren't for them I would totally lose faith.

[Hadok]

Yes, this is certainly some article. An erudite political discourse using Larry Craig's genitalia as a metaphor. And you utilized the "f" word no fewer them three times! Tasteful use of the word "bullshit" and references to their "white asses" puts the Pulitzer prize clearly within your grasp, Mr. Cesca. This article should be read in every high school civics class in America as an example of modern political discourse to be emulated by students everywhere!

Not.

[jackbauer0396]

"We're kicking ass in Iraq."

-Leader of the free world

[starwheel]

Maybe not. But it's a nice read on the "internets".

And it pretty much sums up how I'm feeling, too.

Maybe we should be tazed for being "annoying".

[jackbauer0396]

By the way, when attempting to use irony, it really is a GREAT idea to use the word Not at the end of your idiotic rant.

[TRichards]

The Democrats should, immediately, hire you as a political advisor. This 60-vote thing is ridiculous. MAKE the Republicans filibuster. If possible, make the President veto.

When the Republicans had a majority, we had the "nuclear option." Now, we have the "we-don't-have-enough-votes" majority being bitch slapped by the minority.

It's difficult to watch.

[jm8094]

Forget the Democratic Party (or as shrub says, "democrat party" as he pisses in their faces, again, and none rise to challenge this punk. Join a party with balls - Socialist. I did, and I urge all liberal Dems to do the same. Dump the losers.

Let's show 'em what a REAL opposition party is all about, not a bunch of fancy suit pussies. Time for the jeans and t-shirt crowd to rise up and fight for power and REAL change.

Let's kick some real ass.

[Qbear]

Speaking of Larry Criag's big balls.
I will laugh my queer a$$ off when Craig goes over to Mitch MicConnell and says,

"Who YOU callin' queer....QUEER?"

[clumberfeet]

The Democrats still believe you can win playing by the rules.

[k8k9]

Thank you for a great article. It's like a bad dream ya just can't wake up from. And it keeps getting worse. Every time bush wins another one, his head gets bigger and we (Congress actually) keep letting him win and his head keeps getting bigger. Congress has created a monster. We've been rendered impotent. We are not a country Of The People anymore. We are a country of an arrogant Sadam Hussein wanna-be leading his sheep right off the cliff. . .while they bitch about it.

[Benny59]

I have figured out Harry Reid's strategy...keep letting the Repubs have their way until Bush's head gets so large that it explodes. Only problem is that my head is about to explode from all of this and I would really like to see how it turns out. Hurry up Harry, give in some more...quick!

[Blink2X]

I think there are far more people in this country that agree with everything you say than not. it is beyond painful to watch.

You would think with the current dire state of affairs we finds ourselves in, that the Dems would shows some balls and just say STFU everytime one of the Republicans make any comment about anything at all. Why they continue afford any credibility to these clowns and worse yet cowtow to their obstructionist machinations boggles the mind.

What? Really is wrong with these people!?? This adminstration has crippled our
military, crippled our ability to protect ourselves let alone our interests here
or abroad. We have a Vice President who exercises no restraint in showing his
comtempt for anyone that might diasagree with his twisted agenda, let alone dare
to question his blatant disregard for the rule of law and our constitution.

We know who they think they are but who do we think they are that we continue to
allow them act this way with impunity. We will be embroiled in another
misadventure perpetrated by these madmen while we diddle ourselves over the
depressing non-consequential antics of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and O.J.

[HamletsMill]

Blink2X,

Thank you for this fine post. My words exactly. How can people just stand here and accept the Swift-boating of the Constitution of the United States and the common sense main street values that made the nation so successful and prosperous for the families of the people. The burn rate on our spiritual capital and sacred stewardship for decency is now accelerating beyond anything anyone could have ever envisioned. It is staggering. If our political processes do not step up to the plate as a firebreak, I forsee violent revolution. I can't stomach that and i don't want to see it. We must evoke change using our sacred system of common sense and redress. What is wrong with people that they do not see the urgent necessity for real political action to save the future of our nation? The longer there is no check on the current situation, I honestly foresee war with Iran as a real possibilty. This Administration fears no Day of Reckoning on ANYTHING they can conceive in their "we make our own reality" Corportist opium dream. There will be a Day of Reckoning. The incredible harebrained mismanagement of this completely unnecessary war is breaking our Armed Forces. When will the Congress and Senate of the United States step up to the plate like adults? When?

[RogerHWerner]

Cesca is right on in his criticism of the national Democratic Party leadership. These people are utterly amazing. If it is possible to snatch defeat from victory these bozos will figure out a way to do it. To say they need a little courage is understatement. The Democrats need to life a collective middle finger to Bush, the GOP, and the MSM. But if they do that they better have an effective strategy and sadly right now there is no strategy beyond talking tough and then capitulating.