'The Surge Is Working!' Isn't Working

Throughout the land of pundits, you can hear the sound faintly but it's clear. It goes, "Things are looking better in Iraaaaaaaq. The surge is woooorrrrking..." That other noise you hear -- that faint rhythmic clomping sound -- that's the sound of goose-stepping from Michelle Malkin's I Am Actor James Woods cult. They're marching around to 7-Eleven stores demanding the clerks take their oath. If the clerks refuse to say "I Am Actor James Woods' Nipple" or whatever, Malkin personally tortures them.

Many pundits and White House apologists have come right out and said it (about the surge working, not the "I Am Actor James Woods' Colon" pledge -- I hope). Fox News Channel's John Gibson took a break from encouraging white supremacy to say it. The Washington Post's Robert Kagan said it. Bill Kristol said it, too. Then again, everything Kristol has ever said about Iraq -- EVER -- has been total horseshit.

We all know about Senator McCain's completely debunked observations this past week. As Crooks & Liars noted, he even walked the streets of Baghdad on Sunday whilst flanked by more firepower than the goddamn Death Star. Though Newsweek later reported:

"Less then 30 minutes after McCain wrapped up, a barrage of half a dozen mortars peppered the boundaries of the Green Zone, where the senators held their press conference."

But it's working, damn your eyes! Flip through the prime time talking head shows this week and you'll hear it. You don't really need to actively watch to hear it, either. In fact, I encourage you to avert your eyes anyway, especially if Hannity has a member of the administration on his show. His hair and eyes get this sparkly-twinkly teen-girl-on-prom-night glow that shines brightly enough to burn your retinas. Wear a welding mask or maybe do something more constructive and leave the TV sound on in the background. You will absolutely hear at least one or two pundits allude to the idea that the escalation surge is working. And that's the plan. It's the well-worn modern Republican media strategy: you don't need to win every debate, you just need to create enough doubt (reasonable or otherwise) in the minds of the people and you've won the argument.

It's not working this time, at least by way of the poll numbers. The American people aren't getting the message, according to Gallup.

"A new USA Today/Gallup poll finds nearly two in three Americans believing the current escalation of U.S. troops in Baghdad 'has not made much difference or has actually made the situation there worse.'

A full 60-percent of Americans want the troops home by 2008, according to the same poll. The congressional Democrats understand this, but the president and the dwindling few who agree with him are simply too self-deluded to know that we're only wasting American and Iraqi lives, resources and money, and we'll continue to do so until the president leaves office. We're looking at another two years (or more) of blood and death because a small faction of cultists are putting the president's ego over reasonable strategy in the region.

I can hardly think of anything else that's more brazenly homicidal than encouraging the deliberate killing of more soldiers and civilians just so President George W. Bush can leave office without having to change his mind. It's like Rove grabbing a small animal and saying, "You know, I went through the trouble of capturing this small animal, I might as well rip its head off. No turning back now, yo! Whee!"

And we're not winning -- nor will we ever defeat the insurgency in Iraq using military forces. Seriously, it's bordering on psychotic to believe that President Bush, a man who couldn't describe the difference between Shi'ites and Sunnis before the war, could somehow be the first commander-in-chief in the history of warfare to overcome a guerrilla insurgency without a 10-to-1 advantage and nearly four years after losing the initiative on the battlefield.

No matter what degree of doubt the White House sprinkles into the water supply, the numbers don't lie. March sadly posted the highest number of civilian deaths in Iraq this year: 1,808. By this or any other measure, it's not working. No military effort will ever work in Iraq. Ever.

But I suppose if enough people are eventually led to believe that we're winning, then we won. Reality is perception. So why can't we just say we've won now? I think I can go along with that. We won! Wow, it's actually kind of fun to lie to yourself. I can see why it's so popular with Bush, Cheney, Malkin, Gibson, Kristol and Senator McCain.