The Weird Contradictions of the Tea Bag Revolution

Throughout history, there have been more than a few unfortunate and ill-conceived branding and marketing ideas to have been thrust into public view. I'm not just talking about minor infractions like the recent Cocaine energy drink or that children's candy with the hard plastic "prizes" suitable for choking buried inside. I'm talking about serious failures. Probably the most famous example of an epic fail product was the diet pill known simply as "Ayds," circa 1982. The slogan: "Why take diet pills when you can enjoy Ayds?" I'm not making that up.

In the past several years, this caliber of epic fail has also appeared at various political protests. There's the infamous mullet-headed pro-war demonstrator holding a sign reading: "GET A BRAIN! MORANS." And just a couple of weeks ago, there was this display of fail by a protester from the far-right blog Free Republic:

As the sign demonstrates, the funniest and most contradictory aspect of the recent far-right revolution is, hands down, the tea bag thing. But it's not just about the double entendre aspect of "tea bagging." A lot of it has to do with the idea that far-right conservatives are emulating the Boston Tea Party.

Let's recap. It began with the on-air rant from the floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange by the Coward Rick Santelli -- "coward" because he's apparently too afraid to go on The Daily Show and, instead, Jim Cramer went on and took a beating for something that Santelli basically started. Nevertheless, according to one of the official tea bag websites, Santelli is credited as the patron saint of the movement.

And unless I'm mistaken, the basic idea of the tea bag revolution is to protest against government bailouts and in favor of tax cuts for the wealthiest five percent of Americans. Ultimately, the tea baggers (can I call them that?) appear to be against allowing the Bush's tax cuts to expire. Strangely, they also appear to be against President Obama signing into law the largest middle class tax cut in history. They're also against helping middle and working class "losers" keep their homes. (By the way, your neighbor's mortgage is your problem. Just watch your property values plummet as soon as there's just one foreclosure on your block.)

This series of Obama policies, they say, portends tyranny in America. Of course none of the policies of the Bush administration were considered tyrannical by many of the current tea bag leaders. You know the list of Bush trespasses. The illegal searches and seizures, the illegal electronic eavesdropping and torturing. The suspension of habeas corpus, the record deficits, the doubling of the national debt and so on. None of that was tyrannical. But allowing the tax cuts for the wealthiest five percent to expire is absolutely the vanguard of totalitarianism.

So the organizers of the movement have picked up on Santelli's tea party reference and are rebelling against higher taxes for the rich and corporations by purchasing thousands of tea bags and dumping them into various waterways.

To sum up: higher '90s-era tax rates for the wealthy and corporations? Tyrannical. Tax cuts for the middle class? Also tyrannical. Therefore, emulate the Boston Tea Party as a means of underscoring these positions.

Here's the problem.

The Boston Tea Party was ultimately precipitated by a massive corporate tax cut.

In 1773, the only major multinational corporation at the time, the British East India Company, was teetering on the verge of bankruptcy. According to that obviously liberal organization, the Boston Tea Party Historical Society, one solution was to bail out the corporation by offering it a government loan. But instead, at the urging of the East India Company's powerful lobbyists and supported by King George III, Parliament passed the Tea Act which almost entirely eliminated the duty -- the tax -- on British tea exported by the East India Company to the American colonies. How do we know this? Well, the actual subtitle of the Tea Act, for one:

An act to allow a drawback of the duties of customs on the exportation of tea to any of his Majesty's colonies or plantations in America; to increase the deposit on bohea tea to be sold at the East India Company's sales; and to empower the commissioners of the treasury to grant licences to the East India Company to export tea duty-free.

The rationale was that lower taxes meant lower prices, which meant the East India Company would sell a lot more tea. Your basic free market precursor to Reaganomics and supply-side economics in action. In other words, the British government's solution to the East India Company's financial crisis was, in effect, a tax cut. A big one. Exactly the same economic solution that's been pushed by congressional Republicans and the tea bag revolutionaries 236 years later.

The tax cut was viewed by colonial patriots as another example of British tyranny against smaller merchants whose business would be severely undercut. Consequently, political activists and, most famously, the Sons of Liberty, organized a boycott against the East India Company's tea. And later that year, when the Dartmouth, Beaver and Eleanor were docked in Boston harbor, the Sons carried out their famous protest.

So. Whoops.

It turns out that that the tea baggers, led in part by Michelle Malkin, Glenn Reynolds and the Coward Rick Santelli, are politically more in line with the tax policies of King George than the views of the Sons of Liberty and the colonial patriots. The tax baggers emulating a protest against a corporate tax cut -- but, oddly, in support of tax cuts for the rich and corporations. Furthermore, King George was against a corporate bailout loan. And so are the tea baggers. And I don't think it'd be a stretch to suggest that many of the tea baggers are recipients of the president's middle class tax cut.

Not only that but the tea bag revolutionaries are being urged to buy thousands of corporate tea bags, rather than horking them from Lipton trucks -- Griffin's Wharf style. Sam Adams would be so proud. Then again, to be fair, the revolutionaries are being urged to get the proper government permits for their revolution against the, you know, government. We shouldn't expect that such law-abiding revolutionaries would seek out pilfered tag bags.

So in keeping with a long, embarrassing history of ill-conceived, contradictory or just plain self-defeating marketing ploys, the tea baggers seem to have adopted a concept that completely and utterly contradicts what they claim to stand for. Don't misunderstand me, though, they absolutely have a right to protest or do whatever the hell they want. They also have a right to be ridiculously and hilariously inconsistent. In a strange way, consider this column as helpful advice to the tea baggers. Perhaps it's time to quietly abandon the whole tea bag thing.

Unfortunately, I doubt they'll listen. Last week, with crocodile tears streaming down his punch-me face, Glenn Beck urged his viewers to: "Believe in something -- even if it's wrong. Believe in it!" Looks like they're way ahead of you, Glenn, you crazy bastard you.

BobCesca.com

Comments

[neverfm]

It is hilarious how the teabaggers, the right wingnuts, are getting their rocks off these days!

[smashleftright]

This is what really amazes me. People can't seem to get it through thier heads that if you are against what is going on with our government right now, then somehow yopu must have been a Bush supporter. This is the most narrow minded, brainwashed way of thinking you can have in my opinion. Both parties are garbage. They anwer to the same bankers, and financiers. Bush left us in a horrible position, his policies on virtually every front were frightening to say the least. Movements like the Tea Party were not started by Faux News, Or Malkin or any major media figure. People have been working diligently on these movement long before Bush left office.
The True purpose of this movement that no major media outlet wil discuss, is to abolish the Federal Reserve, which is owned by private banks that we pay to print our money. That is where most of your tax dollars go, to privat bankers. Grow up, use your head, think for yourself, and do some independent research.

[AmeriGus]

I got an email from a teabagging merchandiser who spammed TownHall, Human Events and GOP lists. The outfit is called reagan.com where national security ranks above small government, contradicting it's own message - is it then okay to add to the federal debt if it's for war?

http://www.opednews.com/articles/Want-to-Show-Your-Tea-Bag-by-Gustav-Wynn-090414-720.html

Can't wait for these tea parties so I can figure out what they mean, and I can ask why they didn't protest Bush's socialization of financial institutions, rather waited for Obama to be elected. I know I was protesting before them!

[GoldenAgeMaster]

Bob,

With all due respect, you honestly do NOT get it! The majority of people now see what direction the country is headed, and they don't like it one darn bit. The spending that's going on makes Bush seem like an amateur at spending the people's money. The spending must STOP! It must stop before our country falls into an abyss we can never climb out of. Tea Bag protestors only want what's best for this country, and right now we have a Congress (R) & (D) and president that refuses to listen to the people.

Rick Santelli did NOT start the Tea Bag thing. We have been talking and planning about this on my blog weeks before Santelli had his meltdown. Plus, if you do some research, there were quite few Tea Parties prior to Ricks rant.

This is one protest that all Americans can agree on!

[Imago]

"This is one protest that all Americans can agree on!"

...err, not me!

From the teabagparty.org (gee, i managed to type that without giggling!):

"Successful and hard working Americans are being forced to pay through the nose for the mistakes of others and for a massive new social agenda that is antithetical to America's work ethic. The party in power is no longer representing the interests of the individuals and small businesses who make this country successful."

Okay...I'll start with Bush and Obama and amateur spending.

Two words: Iraq War

Going to cost us $3 trillion, at least.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/03/07/AR2008030702846.html

Oh, I just don't know where to start! Delusions run rampant!

[annecros]

Oh come on. The whole "Blame Bush" thingy has jumped the shark. So have the juvenile jokes.
One question:

Where do you think the $11 trillion dollars (that our government has just now committed us to fund) is going to come from?

Taxpayers pay all the taxes. And it's not about Obama, or Bush.

[LBCityGirl]

Just so you know, the teabaggers do not represent the majority.

[PazPraSempre]

amateur spending? what about a war based on false pretenses that has cost a couple trillion?

[Irmanator]

Fortunately you are in the tiny minority and have very little effect on the direction of the nation.
Enjoy your tea festival! Maybe get your face painted and buy some balloons or cotton candy.

[annecros]

I can't believe I have to offer a history lesson.
The colonies refused to pay the levies required by the Townsend Acts claiming they had no obligation to pay taxes imposed by a Parliament in which they had no representation. It's that whole "Taxation without Representation" meme that was going around at the time. Parliament retracted the taxes with the exception of a duty on tea - to demonstrate Parliament's ability and right to tax the colonies. Parliament devised a clever plan to fool the colonists into paying and acknowledging the rights of Parliament to arbitrarily tax them. They gave the struggling East India Company a monopoly on the importation of tea to America. Additionally, Parliament reduced the duty the colonies would have to pay for said tea. The Americans would now get their tea at a cheaper price than ever before. If the colonies paid the duty tax on the imported tea they would be acknowledging Parliament's right to tax them. Tea was a staple. It was assumed that the colonists would rather pay the tax than deny themselves a cup of tea.
The British (as is the case with our present political leadership) must have thought we were stupid to assume we would fall for it. We aren't.
As far as the continued practice of using sophomoric humor (repeated use of "Tea Bagging") that's a real marketing travesty that Tea Party Movement detractors will regret. Giggling and grabbing your crotch does not engender respect among thinking adults.

[nk007]

annecros

You are confused! The colonies refused to pay taxes because they were not represented in Parliament and not because their party lost election. Look, I don't like Congress wasting billions of defense, but guess what, the majority of our elected representative see defense as a major priority. The same majority of Congress and the President see the economic crisis in the same way. Your history lesson is irrelevant! I would have believed the tebagging people if they had been up in arms opposing Bush's imperial presidency. So don't try to fool us that you are motivated by lofty ideas. This whole teabagging movement is all about fulfilling Rush Limbaugh's dream of operation chaos to ensure that Obama fails. I pray and hope that the majority of Americans, who are suffering through this depression will see through all your dirty tricks to derail Obama. So far it seems that they've caught on the right wing lies as is attested by the President's approval in the polls.

[Paul Roberts]

Who in the hell is Glen Beck?

[Gtrdonenow]

Now just in style, wondering what the teleprompter will tell Obama, you know when President BO was mindlessly reading the prompter and thanking himself. President Bush actually could answer questions, President BO has proved over and over that President Giggles cannot carry on a conversation with anyone except the teleprompter. So the real deal is just ask the teleprompter, by pass President BO altogether. He can't go anywhere without the teleprompter, it is some things that some people like he prove day after day.

[Mystic01]

"President Bush actually could answer questions,"

Uh, when was he ever able to do this, using complete, articulate sentences without made-up words or destroying the English language?

[philko]

"President Bush actually could answer questions"
I agree. We all have just misunderestimated him.

[twintwine]

You do the work to prove what you are saying.

[MsYellowDog]

Those who ignore the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it...looks like the Rethugs are well on their way to doing so.

[nk007]

Did Obama use a teleprompter when he devastated McCain in the presidential debates? All you are doing is repeat ignorant statements that you heard on Fox news and Rush limbaugh's moronic rants. As your Saint Reagan used to say: "there you go again repeating nonsense" because you are incapable of thinking on your own with out the right wing talking heads.

[mdbmama]

Well, you wouldn't want the "protesters" to be TOO educated would you? That's not actually a policy they are FOR either.

[daddysboy]

I'm offended that they have to drag their children into this ridiculous crap. People all over the political map think it's OK to bring the youth out to a political protest of any kind. Not only are the kids at this protest getting a completely ass-backward history lesson, but they are also being indoctrinated into the don't-use-your-brain crowd before they even get a chance to think for themselves and have an idea of their own. Imagine what the other kids at the grade school would think if they saw a picture of their peer holding up a pro "tea bag" sign; don't tell me they won't have jokes. Let children enjoy NOT worrying about the world while they still can; there's enough worrying to go around right now.

[Tim303]

No taxation without representation! And vice versa!

[nk007]

What?

[Tim303]

"This series of Obama policies, they say, portends tyranny in America. Of course none of the policies of the Bush administration were considered tyrannical by many of the current tea bag leaders. You know the list of Bush trespasses. The illegal searches and seizures, the illegal electronic eavesdropping and torturing. The suspension of habeas corpus, the record deficits, the doubling of the national debt and so on. None of that was tyrannical. But allowing the tax cuts for the wealthiest five percent to expire is absolutely the vanguard of totalitarianism."

This is sad and true.

[Brightsong]

I loved this blog and was moved by the content here and by our friend John Stewart to write a song called "Tea Bagging" which can be enjoyed here:

http://brightsong.typepad.com/

I swear, things just get weirder and weirder in the good ole USA. I am trying to get my songblog fans to read your article before listening to my song.....if you don't know the double entendre, OR the mixed up rationale for this protest the song just isn't as funny!

thanks! Camille

[definitelyNOTmisterRIGHT]

ayds were popular in the mid 1970's. they were appetite suppresants in the guise of soft, chewy chocolates.

[TremoluxMan]

Bob, I love your writing style. Absolute genius. The 'Pubs never let the facts or correct history get in the way of a good argument.

[lisakaz2]

These ppl sure are a fake Sons of Liberty. It's surprising they don't defend corporate welfare. I suppose they do, just in another name. We need a real Sons of Liberty to stop their nonsense as well as that of pirates like AIG. Enough gaming the system!

[JulieSA]

No. We want smaller government (or at least to head it's imminent explosive growth), and free market, not corporate welfare. Large companies actually like big government in general, because they have enough money that they can use their political donations to in effect write regulations. More regulations cripple their small up and coming competitors.

After witnessing congress's behavior this week, do you think it would be good if our political class gained MORE control over your life? Republicans and Dems are both lame, but at least the Republicans don't want as much control over you as the Dems do, as a rule.

[Ghost803]

Large companies don't "want" a big government. They want a government that they can circumvent and bully. Just look at Sweden, Switzerland, Finland, Norway, Netherlands, Denmark, etc...

The corporate class there doesn't make a boat load of money and screw the rest, because there are government measures to reign in the companies and prevent the stuff that goes on around here.

What you guys need is some independent media with balls, campaign finance reform, and term limits for congress. Of course, having a intelligent citizenry would make matters much easier.

[Tribidemp]

You are so right. The Democrats want to control our lives to the point where they fly into Washington, early from vacation, to sign an emergency bill to prevent a vegetative state woman from having her living will wishes fulfilled by removing her feeding tube. Oh wait, that was the repubs. You had better check your stats before spouting such nonsense.

[24hourrifle]

wingnuts want smaller gov't...except when it comes to war.then whats best is to have gov't spend massive,irresponsible amounts of money on obsolete weapon.
gov't oughtta stay out of our lives...except when legislating a womans womb.
or deciding who is "equal enough" to get married.

hypocricy and nonsense:the foundation of the republican party.

[nk007]

"Republicans don't want as much control over you as the Dems do, as a rule"

What an idiotic statement given what the country went through in the last 8 years of Republican rule. How about the vicious attacks on Bill Clinton who inherited one of the largest budget deficit from 12 years of Republican rule and managed turn it around leaving the country with a budget surplus, which George Bush squandered. I think right wingers must think we are idiots.

[bannorhill]

Fake sons of Liberty? What did our founding fathers say on this issue?

"...when you run in debt; you give to another power over your
liberty."

Benjamin Franklin

Avoiding likewise the accumulation of debt, not only by shunning occasions of expense, but by vigorous exertions in time of peace to discharge the debts which unavoidable wars have occasioned, not ungenerously throwing upon posterity the burthen which we ourselves ought to bear.
George Washington

“I, however, place economy among the first and most important republican virtues, and public debt as the greatest of the dangers to be feared.”
and
"I am for a government rigorously frugal and simple, applying all the possible savings of the public revenue to the discharge of the national debt; and not for a multiplication of officers and salaries merely to make partisans"

"We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt."

Thomas Jefferson

“I go on the principle that a public debt is a public curse, and in a Republican Government a greater curse than any other”

James Madison

And from a later Great American

"The money powers prey upon the nation in times of peace and conspire against it in times of adversity. It is more despotic than a monarchy, more insolent than autocracy, and more selfish than bureaucracy. It denounces as public enemies, all who question it's methods or throw light upon it's crimes."

Abraham Lincoln

The new Sons of Liberty agree with the old ones.

[Tim303]

You are typically right wing in your extremist black-and-white thinking. He said, wittily.

[philko]

And, by golly, THAT'S why we need a tax cut!

[nk007]

Where were the "Sons of Liberty" when Saint Ronnie left us with the greatest debt ever? Where were the "Sons of Liberty" when George W. Bush who inherited a budget surplus turned it into a trillion debt? What about all right wing supply siders who said that federal deficit do not matter? I am just so sick of people pretending that Obama's economic policies aimed at dealing with a severe recession, and trying to prevent a catastrophic depression are some how more dangerous than squandering trillions of dollars invading and occupying a country that did us no wrong. Please spare me your sanctimony.

[Irmanator]

"discharge the debts which unavoidable wars"

What about completely avoidable unnecessary wars provoked by chicken hawk neocons? Did Ben have a pithy quote for them? I guess Ben never envisioned a mor.on like GWB being handed the reins.