World War III Is Going To Be Hilarious

Your president giggled and grinned while discussing World War III today.

"But this -- we got a leader in Iran who has announced that he wants to destroy Israel. So I've told people that if you're interested in avoiding [grinning] World War III [end grinning], it seems like you [begin giggling] ought to be interested in preventing them from have the knowledge [end giggling] necessary to make a nuclear weapon."

Hahahaha! Yeah! Zinger! That's funny shit. For the record, here's his expression while saying the words "World War Three":

To the rest of the known world, however, World War III a scary thing. It's just below abortion and above rape on the list of the all time unfunniest topics.

Let's break it down.

1. Iran doesn't have a nuclear weapon, and if they ever developed one, they'd be smart enough to know (despite how we caricaturize Ahmadinejad) that using it would invite their own destruction a thousand times over. Thus, there is no Iranian nuclear threat.

2. Yet the administration is drawing up plans to illegally and preemptively attack anyway, based on the lie that Iran is a nuclear threat.

3. Congress, despite the president's 24-percent approval rating, won't stop the White House because of, 1) The Fear, and 2) because Congress has allowed the president and vice president to seize unprecedented power which almost entirely circumvents Article I of the Constitution (among other things).

4. Meanwhile, if we do attack, it appears as if Pooty-Poot might bring Russia in on the Iranian side.

5. And there you go. Knee slapping boners all around. Milk just came out of my nose.

They're marketing Iran with more psychotic voracity than Michelle Malkin attacking an injured baby -- and no one can stop them.

As near as I can tell, there doesn't appear to be a governing body or citizen group who can stop them from carrying this out. Congress won't and, honestly, they can't. Last night's Frontline episode, "Cheney's Law," underscored what we've all been worried about: Congress has been rendered ineffectual against the current power madness of the executive.

For example, has Congress clamped down on the president's rampant use of torture? Sure. (Torture is number five on the unfunny syllabus.) The Republican controlled Congress did this, but the president rendered the law pointless with a signing statement.

Ah yes. Torture. Not to digress too far into this thing, but you know how the president can look us in the eye and say, "we don't torture," as he did in today's press conference? He can say this with impunity because the administration has authored its own definition of torture which is so narrow that anything else -- anything you and I would consider to be torture -- isn't.

If it don't cause organ failure, it ain't torture, Stretchy McStretch-o-rama-funny-pants. In a sense, the president isn't lying when he says "we don't torture." It depends on what your definition of torture is.

This excuse, of course, is the same excuse future enemies will use when they torture... us.

Republican cowards who demand security at the expense of liberty/honor/law have facilitated the Bush executive branch with extraordinary power. Now we're trapped in the shadow of the White House's unprecedented strength, and there doesn't appear to be any conceivable way to stop these people. If Cheney wrangles the military hardware to attack Iran, the air strikes will commence with lightning zealotry. Bet on it. Congress can try to stop him, but they don't have the power any more. According to the Bush administration, Article II is Article II and the Commander in Chief rules.

It's as simple as that. Just try telling him he's wrong on this. You could be the most conservative wingnut ever and you'd lose that debate -- not for a lack of rational arguments either.

Is it any wonder why we occasionally succumb to outrage fatigue: that deflated, windless sense of numbing futility we feel when confronted with the illogical and the absurd? We've only begun to dig into the upper strata of lawlessness this regime has perpetrated over the last seven years. And now, in this desperate dying twilight of their existence -- now that they're gravely unpopular and on their way out the door -- reckless and without anything to lose -- why shouldn't they do all the crazy shit they've talked about? Bomb Tehran? Yeah, that'll be awesome and hilarious. More war means more war powers. If you thought the administration's war powers were crazy huge, just imagine their World War powers. Score!

The president always says that history will vindicate him. 15 months from now, he'll be done. Pretending to be a cowboy down there -- raising melanomas in the harsh Crawford sunshine, laughing at the third hilarious war he started all by himself.

Once he's done, by his twisted reasoning, it's someone else's problem. By "someone else" he naturally means "everyone else."

Just like so many powerful men, he appears to be able to switch off his conscience (if one exists in the first place). It's the same switch that allows him to say "we don't torture," or to smirk and laugh while discussing Iraq casualties and World War III. "Everyone else" won't include him because he'll always be safe. He'll always have Crawford and the twins; his fake accent and his delusional view of history; his nicknames and his eh-eh-eh laugh.

The rest of us -- unless we can find a way to stop this Iran drumbeat -- won't be laughing so much.

Comments

[Garvagh]

An attack on Iran would be even more stupid than the invasion of Iraq. I agree the smirking George W. Bush, joking about WWIII, is classic and indeed frightening.

[Mick7777]

Actually, attacking Iran is a brilliant move on their part. Not that I agree with it, but with oil-bearing nations facing peak oil and the possible collapse of the dollar if Iran, Venezuela and Iraq choose to sell oil for Euros, Yuans, or any other currency (as they have threatened), we are headed for a financial meltdown. It is the only way, according to the neocons, that we can preserve all of the oil for ourselves and prevent financial disaster. Bush's use of the word "nuclear weapons" is simply a metaphor for Iran, China and Russia putting us into an economic tailspin. Look up the Iranian Oil Bourse. Biggest threat to the U.S. dollar and it opened up this past June. WWIII is coming, it has to. They have us strung up by the balls. All China has to say is no more dollars and we're sunk. If we own all the oil, they can't touch us. It's a shame it has to be this way, but as Sally Fields recently said "And, let’s face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no god damn wars in the first place”. Well done neocons. Well done. What will you destroy next?

[goofy2]

Question: What increased demand has raised crude oil prices from the historically non-embargo high of $50.00 a barrel to over $80. Answer: None. Only Cheney/neocon sabre rattling is needed. Who benefits from these rip-off prices. Cheney's and Bush's friends and business interest partners. They don't need Iraqi or Iranian oil. They just need the threat of its being off the market to make oil they already own quadruple in price. If you don't think this is lining Cheney's pockets, you know nothing of his history.

[LarryDavid]

Bush was laughing appropriately. He was saying that it's pretty stupid NOT to pressure Iran if they could start WW III . . . the exact thing the Dems and the left are in favor with. Rolling his eyes at the Dems is more polite than being snide or vicious, though they deserve it for their irresponsible policies.

[NoContest]

http://www.smirkingchimp.com/

Damn, I hate Bush,,,,,,,,,,,,,''


~!#@

[ascreenname]

Comment to which I was responding: "Well... I think the assertion by Ahmadinejad vis-a-vis Israel has a similar mischaracterization as a declaration of war intent as opposed to what was really being communicated. Translation misfix for political intent."

In other words, you claim ImADamnNutJob's just letting off steam or engaging in malice-free rhetoric. But, in the 1930's they said the same thing about Hitler.

[Zhonni]

I belive Bush is back on snorting something! He has been fiddling with his nose alot lately.

Something seems to be frying his brain, for it seems to me, he is getting dumber by the day. How can he utter such a statement when the dollar is in a tail spin.

Bush should be removed from ofice before he causes irreversible damage to this country. The U.S is more vulnerable today than it has been in a long time. Why? A lot of outsiders own a lot of the U.S and are financing our deficits. The military is stretch too thin and this is what we get from Mr Tough guy?

[MSB]

Why are people fighting the conservative trolls on this site? We just give legitimacy to their moronic ramblings.

The truth is our country has been in decline for 60 years.

We don't live in any recognizable form of democracy today.

The ONLY question individuals should be asking themselves is what am I willing to do? Are you "American" or for true Democracy? These lunatics sell Americanism as a continuation of the insane crap they are doing. This group (money) will NEVER give up power unless there is a worse outcome than loss of money - see revolution­/incarcera­tion. I see it as either the wholesale removal of these criminals from power through the peaceful means of demonstration and election, or, we are absolutely going to have an eventual revolution. People always tell me this is ridiculous, and I say to read your history. The only difference is that this time humanity might not survive it.

If you are a parent and are not ACTIVELY opposing this administration, you are an idiot. Our kids may have no planet to play on if these bastards get there way. This is of no comfort to me, but until people are willing to oppose this government (and I don't just mean blogging), nothing is going to change. After all, in opposing these people, you are doing the right thing. Make NO MISTAKE, most of these congress critters are criminals by any standard that most of us would consider criminal. There is no equivocating justice.

[LarksNest]

Ron Paul - one of those despicable Republicans - voted against the tyranny of this unlawful war!

He opposes the federal regulation of the right of mothers to abort their unborn children because he believes only the states should make that determination through the democratic process.

Paul favors the repeal of the 16th Amendment - the instrument by which our country is being stolen by a cartel of internationalist bankers who want to enslave US all.

[Note: The Fed is owned by elitists - many of whom are not even American citizens. Their proxies are their best money clients and the dummies they purchase to serve in government. The Big Media mouthpieces are brought into line by our worship of money and entertainment... which lulls us to apathy and cowardice. They MANIPULATE and ULTIMATELY CONTROL... damn near everything!]

He opposes entangling foreign alliances driven by multi-national corporations in bed with our representatives in government.

He's against all unlawful authority usurped by this madman in the White House - which Republicans AND Democrats both allowed to let happen.

And he did NOT even vote for that despicable smiling Chimp, let alone, cheer him on!

As a former progressive big-D Democrat... the only thing I find progressive anymore is to remove our cowardly government completely from my life.

The only law Bush favors is the law of the jungle; and Hillary, Barack or Edwards - not to mention, Ghouliani, Fred-Head, McCain and Romney - would be no different, I assure you. They're all puppets, for crying out loud!

But please, do not lump the only champion of the Constitution in this race with all the other air-heads vying to succeed him. Labels are like that; because labels are like the RFID chips our corporatist government reps think are not the same as branding iron logos burned into the asses of cows.

Instead of complaining, we need to be thinking... about what individual citizens can actually do... about restoring our small-r republican liberties!

This is supposed to be a country governed by laws - not men who would gleefully abuse them.

[MSB]

LarksNest,

I would agree with you that party isn't everything but I'm no fan of Ron Paul. The war is one of the only issues he's correct on. Researching what his record is will reveal this (maybe you support his ideas - I do not.)

Just for the record I think that libertarian leanings are dumb. "The Market" is a terrible arbiter of human behavior.

Humans left to their own devices will be dominated by those willing to have no scruples. These people are not intelligent, they are self-serving and juvenile (see Karl Rove). Personally I think we should be much more socialistic in our ideals and legislate away the ability to grossly "game" the system. It may be more "wasteful" but who cares? Who said absolute efficiency is a desirable outcome? Checks and balances are not efficient but until now were desirable in our country. We need to alter the conflation of money and success. Capitalism and true democracy do NOT go together. We should heavily regulate our capitalism. Wealth is no measure of societal success. This is a lie perpetuated by the economic elite. Who are most of them helping? (With a few real exceptions.)

[bumpersticker]

Red Herring - Something that draws attention away from the central issue.

Mushroom clouds and Dictators are convenient red herrings. Bush will say and do anything to hide the central issue that they are out to control the remaining oil resources to preserve the American Way of Life. They may be right, but why do they have to make us collectively liars and deceivers who say we care about democracy and freedom?

America is the junky on the mean streets, carrying a gun and determined to score "no matter what." All junkies are liars, and Bush has personified our corrupted national spirit.

[Peabodies]

Solar-powered houses fueling electric cars would defang the oil lobby. Why were GM-engineered electric cars taken off the road and destroyed in 1995? Because ... well we now know. Same as global warming, this bunch doesn't believe in "we're in it together". Aren't we?

[oogabooga]

Bush and Cheney are basically Beevis and Butthead. Unfortunately for us, the former are running the country like Beevis and Butthead ran that fast food stand (great episode).

[FranciscoAlmeida]

Through mass-media, the honorable American people is being mind-controlled by a huge three-pronged industry, the military-f­inancial-o­il stablishment, which is behind the neo-con puppets & PNAC, and controls both Dem & Reps.
The final goals?
1- Prevent TOTAL collapse of dollar as global currency, through blocking oil from changing into euro. It'd destroy US financial house-of-cards and subsequently its economy, and make the 1929-Crash look like an innocent bruise in a picnic.
2- Prevent the raisal of HeartLand EurAsia as the new Dominant Power on earth: Joint China+Russia+India have resources, people and the will.
3- Prevent possible blackmail from natural resources owners, like 1973 Oil-Shocks, assuring access to such vital supplies, while the West fades slowly.
**********
In short words, prevent the fall of global american hegemony, refusing to accept the NEW REALITY produced by Digital Era:
World power has shifted from "weaponry" to "economy".
And, while America has debased her economic powers - outsourced industry, huge debts, collapsing dollar - she simultaneously lacks enough natural resources, dooming herself to a debacle.
Her only world class remaining asset is its military power, and she's using it to sustain hegemony, closing on to Russia's borders.
History says that no Empires in the past accepted natural decay, and never faded and fell peacefully. They all went to a final war, in a desperate grasp to hold hegemonic powers.
Appaling is the fact that now nukes are the front assets.
Francisco Almeida.
(Brazilian citizen, in Brazil).
**********
Comments welcomed: englishtau­ght@yahoo.­com.br

[deminmo]

My local talk radio news director told me the locals don't want to be bothered with national
issues. They believe their President. I had suggested more topics than the obits. And
finally this past Friday a person was on for an
hour talking about the National ID and his fight
to prevent it being inacted in the state of
Missouri. He is a Republican. Most of the people
who called in that day wanted to know more about
the subject.

You just have to keep going, keep calling any
elected person, Washington or local. Call the
local radio station, pester the editor of the
local paper. Just keep at it!

[wagonjak]

Has anyone else noticed that the Iraq Occupation seems to have disappeared from the cable news shows?...This Week At War on CNN devoted its whole hour today to the Malibu fire and last week to subjects other then the disaster in Iraq...

And whatever happened to Michael Ware? Was he kidnapped by aliens or did his bosses just not like his reports on how badly the "War" was going...

Unfortunately there's not even that much about this illegal and immoral occupation in the progressive blogosphere anymore...

I guess everyone's becoming bored with the subject...sad!

[NotWaldo]

I just hope you're wrong Bob. But, it's clear that the "Commander-Guy" is getting dumber and scarier everyday. I'm counting the days before that grinning fool goes back where he came from. Then we can assess the damage done to this great nation and hopefully recover from it. The world needs it. Let's elect someone intelligent in 2008.

[HOORGANVISOR]

Actually, one of the best Prime ministers ever elected in the Middle East was Israel's prime minister during the six-day war. Golda was tough and we fundamentalists fully supported her. At least I did. Don't worry about the world being blown up by nuclear weapons. God will nto let that happen. There will eventually be 1000 years of peace and the world has to exist for that to happen.

[webweaver]

The pre-millenialists think that the nukes will bring the rapture. Hence, the glee on King George's face when he thinks about WWIII.

Further, if God were going to stop nuclear war... then he would have stopped nuclear weapons.

No, we are on our own on this one. So... what will you to do eliminate nuclear weapons? I know what I am doing. Working every day to abolish nukes.