World War III Is Going To Be Hilarious

Your president giggled and grinned while discussing World War III today.

"But this -- we got a leader in Iran who has announced that he wants to destroy Israel. So I've told people that if you're interested in avoiding [grinning] World War III [end grinning], it seems like you [begin giggling] ought to be interested in preventing them from have the knowledge [end giggling] necessary to make a nuclear weapon."

Hahahaha! Yeah! Zinger! That's funny shit. For the record, here's his expression while saying the words "World War Three":

To the rest of the known world, however, World War III a scary thing. It's just below abortion and above rape on the list of the all time unfunniest topics.

Let's break it down.

1. Iran doesn't have a nuclear weapon, and if they ever developed one, they'd be smart enough to know (despite how we caricaturize Ahmadinejad) that using it would invite their own destruction a thousand times over. Thus, there is no Iranian nuclear threat.

2. Yet the administration is drawing up plans to illegally and preemptively attack anyway, based on the lie that Iran is a nuclear threat.

3. Congress, despite the president's 24-percent approval rating, won't stop the White House because of, 1) The Fear, and 2) because Congress has allowed the president and vice president to seize unprecedented power which almost entirely circumvents Article I of the Constitution (among other things).

4. Meanwhile, if we do attack, it appears as if Pooty-Poot might bring Russia in on the Iranian side.

5. And there you go. Knee slapping boners all around. Milk just came out of my nose.

They're marketing Iran with more psychotic voracity than Michelle Malkin attacking an injured baby -- and no one can stop them.

As near as I can tell, there doesn't appear to be a governing body or citizen group who can stop them from carrying this out. Congress won't and, honestly, they can't. Last night's Frontline episode, "Cheney's Law," underscored what we've all been worried about: Congress has been rendered ineffectual against the current power madness of the executive.

For example, has Congress clamped down on the president's rampant use of torture? Sure. (Torture is number five on the unfunny syllabus.) The Republican controlled Congress did this, but the president rendered the law pointless with a signing statement.

Ah yes. Torture. Not to digress too far into this thing, but you know how the president can look us in the eye and say, "we don't torture," as he did in today's press conference? He can say this with impunity because the administration has authored its own definition of torture which is so narrow that anything else -- anything you and I would consider to be torture -- isn't.

If it don't cause organ failure, it ain't torture, Stretchy McStretch-o-rama-funny-pants. In a sense, the president isn't lying when he says "we don't torture." It depends on what your definition of torture is.

This excuse, of course, is the same excuse future enemies will use when they torture... us.

Republican cowards who demand security at the expense of liberty/honor/law have facilitated the Bush executive branch with extraordinary power. Now we're trapped in the shadow of the White House's unprecedented strength, and there doesn't appear to be any conceivable way to stop these people. If Cheney wrangles the military hardware to attack Iran, the air strikes will commence with lightning zealotry. Bet on it. Congress can try to stop him, but they don't have the power any more. According to the Bush administration, Article II is Article II and the Commander in Chief rules.

It's as simple as that. Just try telling him he's wrong on this. You could be the most conservative wingnut ever and you'd lose that debate -- not for a lack of rational arguments either.

Is it any wonder why we occasionally succumb to outrage fatigue: that deflated, windless sense of numbing futility we feel when confronted with the illogical and the absurd? We've only begun to dig into the upper strata of lawlessness this regime has perpetrated over the last seven years. And now, in this desperate dying twilight of their existence -- now that they're gravely unpopular and on their way out the door -- reckless and without anything to lose -- why shouldn't they do all the crazy shit they've talked about? Bomb Tehran? Yeah, that'll be awesome and hilarious. More war means more war powers. If you thought the administration's war powers were crazy huge, just imagine their World War powers. Score!

The president always says that history will vindicate him. 15 months from now, he'll be done. Pretending to be a cowboy down there -- raising melanomas in the harsh Crawford sunshine, laughing at the third hilarious war he started all by himself.

Once he's done, by his twisted reasoning, it's someone else's problem. By "someone else" he naturally means "everyone else."

Just like so many powerful men, he appears to be able to switch off his conscience (if one exists in the first place). It's the same switch that allows him to say "we don't torture," or to smirk and laugh while discussing Iraq casualties and World War III. "Everyone else" won't include him because he'll always be safe. He'll always have Crawford and the twins; his fake accent and his delusional view of history; his nicknames and his eh-eh-eh laugh.

The rest of us -- unless we can find a way to stop this Iran drumbeat -- won't be laughing so much.

Comments

[pa104inf]

Henry,
You are making the same mistakes which led to World War II. I have read a translated version of Mien Kempf will I was still in High School and he was very clear as to what he intended to do to the Jews and the rest of the world. From what I understand, Ahmadinejad's statements are even more radical when his speeches are translated from his native tongue. He intends to make the rest of the world into ISLAMIC countries under Sharia law and destroy Israel and the Jews. His statements are sad when you think about Jews and there relationship with ISLAM in the past, you will realize that ISLAM protected the Jews from the Christians during middle-ages.

[Hope42]

Ahmadinejad did NOT say he wanted to destroy Israel. This lie is being perpetuated over and over again. He said that the area should be ONE STATE with Israel and Palestine being one big country and exist as a democracy. He was saying Israel should not exist as a STATE with boundaries.
He had no intention whatsoever of DESTROYING Israel; he said he wanted the state of Israel to not exist as a political entity.
That is NOT the same as bombing or waging war against Israel.
Israel is the warmongering state that totally destroyed the infrastructure of one of its neighbors (Lebanon) on a flimsy reason.
So let's start telling the truth here instead of spreading lies...leave the lies to Fox.

[Donald Wolberg]

You are either wearing an aluminum foil hat with too much aluminum, or you simply have not read what the loonies in Iran have said.

[NicoleAnonymous]

Actually you are correct. We didn't have a bad relationship with Muslims until after Israel was created and especially the occupation.

The fact is that Catholics have been more anti-semitic throughout history (they think we killed you-know-who) but people forget that and think Islam has always been hostile to our people.

[pinkerman2]

Nicole, I think you have a tiny little bias problem. Fairly obvious. A dose of real compassion might help you.

[Annette]

True. Jewish people had it much worse under the catholics in Europe for 500 years than they did under the Muslims.

[dolphy]

Can you please explain how the muslims will be able to control the world. OH...YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT THE MUSLIMS CAN'T EVEN CONTROL THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

[laissezleswontonsbrulez]

"Caliphate" seems to have become on of the scare words of those who beat the drum for a Global War on Islam.

No rational student of history sees this as more then a febrile Neocon fantasy, but the Neocons tell us we should all be quaking in our boots before this impending word conquest. "Caliphate gonna get your Momma" is the message, endlessly repeated with their best pretend fear and rage.

Step back a bit and look at who is actually doing the world conquest bit and it is clearly the US that has been the leading player at invading and occupying other countries, while pretending to be the aggrieved victim.

[nickyboy1]

Dolphy, this is SO TRUE. We are talking about people who are of small divided countries, do not get along with each other and are relatively defenseless against being attacked or attacking. It is RIDICULOUS to think Islamic countries have a prayer of controlling the world. Where does this come from? Well, of course we know neoCONS would like us to believe this fear... but why would any thinking person believe it?

[JGray]

"Q Mr. President, following up on Vladimir Putin for a moment. He said recently that next year when he has to step down, according to the constitution, as President, he may become Prime Minister, in effect keeping power and dashing any hopes for a genuine democratic transition there. Senator McCain --

THE PRESIDENT: I've been planning that myself. (Laughter.)"

Oh my god, what a jokester, I'm dying here. What we don't realize or talk about is that he is not joking.

[NotMyPrez]

we can only hope that the system works, and he sits on the curb of 1600 Penn. Ave on 1-21-09 with his bags packed waiting for the black SUV to put him out to pasture in Crawford.

[nickyboy1]

I know JGray, this is scarily true. He is a monster.

[ginnypoo]

We were NOT lied to.... George said before his first election that Saddam tried to kill his Daddy and he would get him. My skin crawled, I felt chills, fear. I still, to this day, can't get the sound of that out of my mind. He meant it, I knew it. None I spoke to took it serious. No one seemed to have a problem with it. I was shocked that a Presidential candidate would say that out loud, and on TV to boot. Then he was elected. I can't say I was surprised after all this is the same place we re-elected a man who couldn't hold his head still and another who said read my lips (he doesn't have descernable lips, folks)and fell for that so why not this idiot. Our President was an idiot, a national joke, a one-liner on the Tonight show. And no one cared that we all knew he was dumb as a box of rocks.......why was any of that okay with anyone? Then the massive fear took hold as the planes (helicopter w/missiles as some believe) and the cameras were switched to 'help' the media 'see' better, and it's all been crap ever since.
The way to fix it is revolution, a massive sit-in, refusal to cooperate with these people. I don't know how to do it, but turning our backs on them's too dangerous, they need to be escorted out of the building, making sure they touch or take nothing with them.
I fear that if a Dem is elected that right afterward Bush is gonna do something 'bad' before he leaves. There needs to be someone in there watching them from the election day onward until they leave.
Why aren't there psych tests to see if candidates are up to the job, like they do on Big Brother....CBS screens those applicants better than we screen our elected officials. That doesn't even make sense. Game show contestants are more rigorously screened than Presidential candidates.
THAT IS HOW THIS HAPPENED.

[princessofnowt]

Before Bush leaves? Leaves? Haven't you been paying attention?

[NotMyPrez]

Why aren't there psych tests to see if candidates are up to the job, like they do on Big Brother....

Because you DO have to be crazy to run for office these days, apparently.

[whomung]

Why aren't there psych tests to see if candidates are up to the job,

You mean like they routinely give police, fire fighters, etc?

google: DSM-IV narcissistic anti-socal

No hope, no cure

[johnnycakes]

"...a massive sit-in, refusal to cooperate with these people."
I think it's called called a General Strike...

[WIpatriot]

But, but, that's what the FRENCH do....

[luziannagirl]

This administration runs on corporate money and mass-delusional religious zeal. Jihadist bible-thumpers will all happily dance their way right through World War III if it means fulfilling apocolyptic Biblical prophesy and ensuring them a high position in Heaven, but we might can do something about the money.

Massive coordinated consumer boycott. Buy nothing.

Start hoarding supplies now.

[NATO91]

i second that emotion

[Progress08]

Farmer's markets and ramen.

[NotMyPrez]

and Oreos, and Pete's Wicked Ale, and maybe some single malt.

[mimsnpips]

Spread it around. Tell family & friends, boycott. Money talks, right dub?

[princessofnowt]

See posts below about Nov 6 all out strike- from work and all consumerism. Stay at home, don't even watch tv.

Maybe we could call it 'Hope Day'

Also- same goes for christmas presents (all holidays with presents I mean). It's gotten so that all we do is buy each other gift certificates anyway, which is just like handing money to each other through corporations. What is the point in that??

[NATO91]

We're with you on this plan!! Thanks, your highness

[nickyboy1]

And that, luziannagirl, is just what the evangelists were told - Armaggedon is here.

[horseface]

This idiot Bush is why a Fundamentalist (dry drunk) member of ANY religion or ideology should NEVER NEVER NEVER be elected to ANY office. Bush and his loony cult pals are just itchin' for Armageddon. Too bad all (12?) of us sane and healthy atheists will go extinct along with the sickos, before we can evacuate to Mars.

[gernger]

When the Republicans had the majority of both houses, they block voted for the Bush agenda, and gave up their constitutional obligations of over sight. In other words, they violated their oath of office. They continue to block vote to stop the Democrats from accomplishing anything. Impeaching the President would be impossible. The votes in the house would probably be there, but there's no way to even come close in the senate. For the President to over throw the government would be equally impossible. 75% of the people are against him, and the rest aren't ready to give up their freedoms. Also he would need the support of the miliatary. Most of the generals believe he is a lunatic, and would not support him.

[NATO91]

Folks, I know we're supposed to be nice and all that but I'd like to articulate something:

I (like most of you) have protested and protested in several countries around the world, practiced "civil disobedience" like a good boy, gotten myself arrested, all for naught, with nary a glance from the media. I've thrown money at tons of organizations, Moveon.org, Clark's Impeachment group, etc. I've worked for Kerry and Gore's campaign. I've written impassioned and civil letters to as many Government figures/offices as I can think of, an equal # of phone calls, countless petitions. I have debated/ yakkity yakked myself hoarse. Etc. Etc.

For. Six. Years. Solid. No let up.

We know vast numbers of americans have been doing the very same. And we know in our hearts that we have failed to do what needs doing; booting out this illegal / insane admin., and/or causing them to cease their illegal / insane activities. And hopefully bringing them to trial for their crimes, only the slightest sliver of which we are aware.

Congress is uninterested (and even if they were, powerless) in slowing these maniacs' advance. These cretins will walk, they will ALL GET AWAY WITH IT, whilst our kids try to manage the unimaginable fallout.

We can out-logic these psychopaths; their actions are indefensible by any thinking human's measure, and we have world opinion in our corner. But at this point they're able to simply ignore us, because we've allowed them to feel safe in doing so. They've broken our backs. Our techniques do not work.

Are the unimpeachable notions of "peaceful" or "civil disobedience" our sole options? It's heresy to even THINK such things, but at this point if it's going to take picking up a brick, I'll pick up that brick. And I wonder who's with me.

Recall the near cliche attributed to Ben Franklin:

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Us in a nutshell.

[WIpatriot]

Astute. But a brick won't do it.

[visionar7]

I think it has to do with oil plain and simple. PNAC always had in their plans to overthrow small governments and have many wars going at one time, to keep our miltary in readiness. Cheney, Wolfowitz, Jeb bush..and others all were members of that think tank group for structuring our foreeign relations.This is most likely the group that thought up the Bin Laden threat to create fear and give reasons to go to war blaming some ominous figure and so perpetrated 9/11 with the military industrial complex & other corporate cronies (not unlike a previous draft of a similar plan drawn up by a then administration member during Eisenhowers last term..(Operation Northwoods). However that plan didn't work as Kennedy came into office and fired the guy. Remember Eisenhower in his farewell address had said beware the military industrial complex

[zitlight73]

The only hope that the USA will remain a republic and not become a facsist empire is that those in the who serve in the military from generals and admirials on down take their sworn oath to defend the Constitution of the United States to heart and mount a coup against the deranged powers of Cheney-Bush. Under Nation Security Presidential Directive-51 quietly signed by Bush on May 9,2007 under which any national emergency even another Katrina the President can seize all political powers from the federal level down to county and city. Congress would even be less relative than it is now if that is physically possible. Have you heard any member of congress or the judicial branch let alone the lickspittle lapdogs,the mainstream media, even mention NSPD-51? Remember that $380 million dollar contract KBR got a couple years ago to turn abandon military bases into "holding facitlites"? More Americans know how many times Britney and Paris have been in re-hab than about these anti-constitutional powers seized by this madmen. And nobody in our in our congress or courts are saying "wait a minute you can't do that."

[antknee]

I just hope that everyone who posts here also voices their feelings to their political representatives.
Hasn't this disaster for the world gone on long enough?

[Podewumun]

Any shrinks on this thread?

Is there such a thing as alcohol/drug induced psychotic dementia? And if so, does it appear as though our Commando-In-Chief is suffering from it?

[whomung]

not a shrink, but google

DSM-IV narcissistic ant-social

Read the diagnostic criteria, and prognosis for treatment...

Scary

[Progress08]

All the time. Hell, I also make my voice heard to your representatives.

[NATO91]

Bet on it, friend. Do they hear us? Now that's a whole different pinata.

[Ginn]

Bob:

I have a feeling... and you let me know if I am off base about this but in my opinion it doesn't matter what Bush does or says... you would file a snarky protest.

No matter how Bush delivers the message, Iran is more cowed by this administration than our Congress and Nancy Pelosi.

[dirozee]

What in the world makes you think Iran is "cowed" by the Bush Administration? Have you seen the recent photos of Vladimir Putin meeting with Ahmadinejad? It appears that there's some real pillow talk going on there!

What does Congress and Nancy Pelosi have to do with this situation?

Both the so-called Democrat-controlled Senate/House and Ms. Speaker of the House are so ineffectual they couldn't get a permit to burn leaves passed.

In the meantime, America is faced with an ever-increasing out-of-control "presidency". These pseudo-cowboy, good ol' boys are playing "Nintendo" games with our future, our children's futures, our grandchildren's futures.

Isn't anyone out there "mad as hell"??? Do we have to wait until martial law is declared? Think about it: what would it take for this administration to suspend all elections next year based on a "national emergency". Does that really sound so far-fetched? Look at how our Constitution has been shat upon so far.

What should we do? Nov. 6th sounds like a good day!

[DKLA]

WRITE PELOSI AND CALL HER AT(202)225-0100. WE MUST YELL AT HER, TELL HER SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO VOID A PORTION OF OUR CONSTITUTION BY TAKING IMPEACHMENT "OFF-THE-TABLE". SHE HAS BETRAYED HER OATH OF OFFICE.
CALL HER NOW [phone], WE MUST CALL HER EVERYDAY!!!!write her too, send her tables!!

[Podewumun]

~DKLA~

Americans can Email Ms. Pelosi at:

http://www.house.gov/pelosi/contact/contact.html

Here's hoping her site crashes from the traffic.

[Redrose]

If you are not a constituent of the 8th District of California don't bother emailing
"Smiley" at the above email address. You
will have to use the email address as speaker
of the house: americanvo­ices@mail.­house.gov
but I don't think she even reads them. Call
her at 202 225 0100, if we all did that on
the same day, say like November 6th...she
might get the message on how serious we are
about Impeachment of Bush and Cheney!! We should demand it be put ON the table.

[LibbyBuck]

I am going to make a little impeachment table to send to NP - that is actually a terrific idea - think she'll keep it on her desk?

I think we should ALLL do this. Here's the table, we'll be serving impeachment pie this evening....

[NATO91]

i'll take a slice with my coffee! A la mode, if you please

[shadowwolf]

We no longer have a democracy in this country.
The imperial presidency has supplanted any vestage of true democracy that might have lingered in our minds. We are faced with idealogues who will start Armageddon before they leave office, and smile when they watch us try to unravle the mess.
Hail and farewell all freedom lovers, your summer of love has been replaced by hate and death and war. Try not to blink when that bright blast happens, that way you will not have to see what happens when we add mushroom clouds to the warming of our environment.

Remember; Better dead than Red?????????

[NicoleAnonymous]

This is the reason I try to avoid discussions about politics on the internet.

I like it when Americans claim we aren't living in a democracy here.

Of course a woman in this country can have an abortion, marry someone from another race, worship any religion she wants, have sex with anyone she wants and vote in every election.

Yeah right. We're not living in a democracy.

[MWAnderson]

Any dictator could grant you the same rights...they have nothing to do with the breakdown of democracy in this country.

Yeah right...find a civics class, take it, and then come back when you know enough to keep up.

[mgsorens]

I recall a similar situation in the Middle East. The President suspected a country of carrying on illicit weapons programs. That country refused to comply with U.N. weapons inspectors sent to insure compliance with U.N. resolutions.

So President Bill Clinton fired 37 cruise missiles into the country attacking not just suspected weapons sites, but also some of that country's government agencies.

That was pretty funny too!

[speakyourmind]

mgsorens, why don't you get with this decade and address what's being discussed here? All of you "but Clinton" crowds are just pathetic. You absolutely refuse to see what's happening right in front of the whole country's face. You just continue to ignore the egregious behavior of YOUR president (he ain't mine that's for sure) and just keep singing that tired old song "but Clinton did this or that....." After seeing the depths to which a chimp president could take this country to, I WOULD TAKE CLINTON IN OFFICE ANY DAY OVER THIS FAILED HUMAN BEING IN OFFICE NOW!!!!

[mgsorens]

I supported the military actions of Clinton in Iraq and Kosovo, so of course I would support similar action by this President.

If you objected to Clinton's actions I can respect you for having the same, or a similar, opinion now.

However, if you supported the actions by Clinton but now have a different opinion because of BDS or hyper partisanship, I am disgusted by your opinion.

[khristmaskathy]

I couldn't agree with you more and Bush is NOT MY PRESIDENT EITHER.

[MtDavid]

I can't believe my ears. It's like a nightmare. Bush says if we want to continue living in peace...
This, while we have two wars going on, one of which even he admits was started for false premises. ("Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11")
Peace is war.
And no one at the press conference calls him on his lies!

[LoriAnn]

The drum beat for the falisy is the same as it was with Iraq...almost verbatum!! I cant for the life of me understand how this could be swallowed again. All of the"info" and the "data" thats been gathered never seems to be backed by the UN or anyone else. They have to bring Israel into the mix to stir the religious base out there. Israel is "no nonsense" when it comes to military defense, I dont think they need flacid Georgie flapping his chicken wings in aid, however he has proven how little worth the American soldiers lives have and would definately sacrifice our military for his next idiotic crusade. Too much power, no intelligence, conscience or humanity..a recipe for absolute chaos and untold suffering!