World War III Is Going To Be Hilarious

Your president giggled and grinned while discussing World War III today.

"But this -- we got a leader in Iran who has announced that he wants to destroy Israel. So I've told people that if you're interested in avoiding [grinning] World War III [end grinning], it seems like you [begin giggling] ought to be interested in preventing them from have the knowledge [end giggling] necessary to make a nuclear weapon."

Hahahaha! Yeah! Zinger! That's funny shit. For the record, here's his expression while saying the words "World War Three":

To the rest of the known world, however, World War III a scary thing. It's just below abortion and above rape on the list of the all time unfunniest topics.

Let's break it down.

1. Iran doesn't have a nuclear weapon, and if they ever developed one, they'd be smart enough to know (despite how we caricaturize Ahmadinejad) that using it would invite their own destruction a thousand times over. Thus, there is no Iranian nuclear threat.

2. Yet the administration is drawing up plans to illegally and preemptively attack anyway, based on the lie that Iran is a nuclear threat.

3. Congress, despite the president's 24-percent approval rating, won't stop the White House because of, 1) The Fear, and 2) because Congress has allowed the president and vice president to seize unprecedented power which almost entirely circumvents Article I of the Constitution (among other things).

4. Meanwhile, if we do attack, it appears as if Pooty-Poot might bring Russia in on the Iranian side.

5. And there you go. Knee slapping boners all around. Milk just came out of my nose.

They're marketing Iran with more psychotic voracity than Michelle Malkin attacking an injured baby -- and no one can stop them.

As near as I can tell, there doesn't appear to be a governing body or citizen group who can stop them from carrying this out. Congress won't and, honestly, they can't. Last night's Frontline episode, "Cheney's Law," underscored what we've all been worried about: Congress has been rendered ineffectual against the current power madness of the executive.

For example, has Congress clamped down on the president's rampant use of torture? Sure. (Torture is number five on the unfunny syllabus.) The Republican controlled Congress did this, but the president rendered the law pointless with a signing statement.

Ah yes. Torture. Not to digress too far into this thing, but you know how the president can look us in the eye and say, "we don't torture," as he did in today's press conference? He can say this with impunity because the administration has authored its own definition of torture which is so narrow that anything else -- anything you and I would consider to be torture -- isn't.

If it don't cause organ failure, it ain't torture, Stretchy McStretch-o-rama-funny-pants. In a sense, the president isn't lying when he says "we don't torture." It depends on what your definition of torture is.

This excuse, of course, is the same excuse future enemies will use when they torture... us.

Republican cowards who demand security at the expense of liberty/honor/law have facilitated the Bush executive branch with extraordinary power. Now we're trapped in the shadow of the White House's unprecedented strength, and there doesn't appear to be any conceivable way to stop these people. If Cheney wrangles the military hardware to attack Iran, the air strikes will commence with lightning zealotry. Bet on it. Congress can try to stop him, but they don't have the power any more. According to the Bush administration, Article II is Article II and the Commander in Chief rules.

It's as simple as that. Just try telling him he's wrong on this. You could be the most conservative wingnut ever and you'd lose that debate -- not for a lack of rational arguments either.

Is it any wonder why we occasionally succumb to outrage fatigue: that deflated, windless sense of numbing futility we feel when confronted with the illogical and the absurd? We've only begun to dig into the upper strata of lawlessness this regime has perpetrated over the last seven years. And now, in this desperate dying twilight of their existence -- now that they're gravely unpopular and on their way out the door -- reckless and without anything to lose -- why shouldn't they do all the crazy shit they've talked about? Bomb Tehran? Yeah, that'll be awesome and hilarious. More war means more war powers. If you thought the administration's war powers were crazy huge, just imagine their World War powers. Score!

The president always says that history will vindicate him. 15 months from now, he'll be done. Pretending to be a cowboy down there -- raising melanomas in the harsh Crawford sunshine, laughing at the third hilarious war he started all by himself.

Once he's done, by his twisted reasoning, it's someone else's problem. By "someone else" he naturally means "everyone else."

Just like so many powerful men, he appears to be able to switch off his conscience (if one exists in the first place). It's the same switch that allows him to say "we don't torture," or to smirk and laugh while discussing Iraq casualties and World War III. "Everyone else" won't include him because he'll always be safe. He'll always have Crawford and the twins; his fake accent and his delusional view of history; his nicknames and his eh-eh-eh laugh.

The rest of us -- unless we can find a way to stop this Iran drumbeat -- won't be laughing so much.

Comments

[princessofnowt]

Right Now: the new Attorney General appointee, Mukasey, is being considered by our 'representatives'.

I just saw clips of this, on 'Democracy Now',where Mukasey says he supports the president's right to detain anyone, anywhere, specifically including American Citizens, on American soil, for an unlimited period of time, without any court able to stop him, or be appealed to.

When asked 'how long would this unlimited power go on?' - he basicly said indefinitely.

This ain't stopping soon.

[WIpatriot]

Nope.

[Raster]

Bush spilled the beans...again! Cheney must be envisioneering a nuclear holocaust-style WW III lately. Everything says nuclear WW III is coming...sooner than you think.

The Bush Team has been working hard to restart a hotter version of the Cold War...nuclear-armed anti-missile missile network in Poland and the Czech Republic right on the Russian border.

Couple that with Gappy-tooth Condi refusing to take Putin's and the Russian military's outrage seriously...with Gappy coping a Mr. Magoo-style response.

[echoes44442002]

Bush will do for militant Islam what Jesus did for Christianity.

[Marmann]

AMEN!

[Annette]

Afraid so.

[ibsteve2u]

Well, at least we made it past our 200th anniversary.

[Annette]

Pretty short period for a country to exist. We have only been a world power for maybe 80 years. I think we will be one of the shorter lived superpowers. If I was raising children now. I think I would make sure they could speak Chinese.

[Unsui]

If you are convinced that Cheney/Bush and their crew are going to relinquish power come election time, take a look at this cheerful little video and let your imagination toy with the possibilities inherent in this bill.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=19926896

[Donald Wolberg]

Unfortunately Mr. Cesca has a poor sense of reality or the significance of an Iranian (or North Korean) bomb. The making of nuclear weapons is a tried, proven and repeatable technological excercise that depends on components and fissionable materials (it is time folks stopped using workds like "fissile" with a very different preferred meaning. There is very little science involved any more--that was all done 65 years ago and repeated many, many times by many different people in different countries.

Secondly, if Mr. Cesca and others would read the words of the Iranian "leadership," he would understand that they are not concerned about MAD based action to deter them. Thier goal, as they stated, is tow-fold. First the destruction of the Jewish state (and lots of Jews), and second, the victory of the Islamic cult over Western religions and the domination of Islam.

Thirdly, Israel cannot tolerate an Iranian bomb. The military reality, Mr. Cesca ignores, is that only three, or possibly two high yied nuclear devicies would destroy the reality of Israel. It is a miniscule country with jet fly-over times less than 5 minutes at supersonic speeds, and few population­/industria­l centers.

Fourthly, an Iranian bomb threatens U.S. and allied installations in the region and as far as Iran's new generation of missils will go--certainly 500 km now and likely 1000 in 3-5 years.

Lastly, Iran's facilities are relatively easy targets. Iran's Navy is impotent despite the British lack of resolve in the kidnapping of its soldiers, and would easily be neutralized in hours, not days. Iran's air defenses are weaker than those of Syria despite recent bad behavior by Mr. Bush's friend, Mr. Putin, as was demonstrated by Israel in the recent correct and wise destruction of the fledgling Syrian facilities.

The Iranian facilities, even those buried deeply are all vulnerable and there is a likely target list of perhas 800 or so sites, mostly surface or shallow, perhaps 50 deep, likely compiled. None is impervious to the newer technology available.

[princessofnowt]

You are missing the point. What is right or wrong to do is MOOT when it is an insane person doing whatever he wants and laughing about it.

[LoriAnn]

Exactly !!! Talk to any Psychologist out there, this dude is acting out, unfortunately, on the world stage, with world consequences!! How about some talk therapy in an exotic port of call, rendition may be prescribed!

[MWAnderson]

You take Cesca to task for his very logical views, and your own are simplistic, zionist & ultimately, warmongering.

[Wanjiru]

"Unfortunately Mr. Cesca has a poor sense of reality..."

...that depends on your definition of "reality'...


.

[Podewumun]

Thank you, Professor. You can now go back to sipping that latte in your manager's cubicle at Troll Central.

[dolphy]

Donald, did you sign PNAC or are you just drinking too much of the Koolaid? You're as delusional as any of those 24 percenters. Do you watch FAUX news 24/7 because you're repeating FAUX news talking points.

[Dave24]

Inevitably, we're screwed.

[WIpatriot]

Dick wants to bomb Iran, so I guess we're gonna do it.

[RumiSouth]

The president doesn't care what anyone thinks. He's unaffected by logic or moral argument. He laughs at war and pays no mind to the consequences of his decisions, which are invariably made out of the advice he wants to hear.

There is a word for this kind of personality: SOCIOPATH. We are being led by a sociopath!

http://www.osborneink.com

[whomung]

Bingo

[Montanamotor]

When George "Johnny Walker" Bush goes to War

A President of the United States of America simpy CANNOT make such outrageous statements in the public. At least not, as long as he was sober.

But, in fact, he didn't seem to be quite all here to me, while he spoke. Not at all.

Couldn't it be that George Walker Bush - dubbed "Johnny Walker" by his mates, when he was young - has, as of lately, resumed regular meetings with his 'good ole friend from the South' - Mister Jim Beam?

I was told, "Johnny Walker" and "Jim Beam" were very close friends back in those days - when Dubya was conspicuous by his absence from duty at the Texas Air National Guard...

"Cheers, Jim!" "This one's to you, Johnny!"

[transendentilist]

I just remembered a brief story about a psychiatrist who wrote a book called, "Bush on the Couch." The following is a sample:

http://hnn.us/articles/7106.html

It is well worth the read.

[dirozee]

Yes! I've been reading this book; it's difficult to read for more than 15 or 20 minutes at a time because then you have to put the book down and just say, WHAT??? How did this disturbed, broken individual become the leader of the free world?

And this book was published in 2004. Events since then absolutely warrant a "Bush on the Couch, Part II".

[NicoleAnonymous]

Nobody in the world is going to attack Israel because they know it means signing their own death warrent. Isreal is not America - they don't have congressional hearings and hand wringing op-ed pieces and national debates about the ethics of going to war.

If you attack them, you die. End of story. Very simple. If Iran attacked them then about 60 million people would be killed when their country is bombed. They all know that. The President of Iran is just like Britney - he's a media whore who thrives on attention and says and does crazy things because he needs more attention.

I support Israel (don't have a choice - I have to) but I also don't think this country should be so involved in protecting them. We have enough problems here.

[mimsnpips]

Agreed NA. Israel believes in the old testament "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth". If they were still able after being attacked Israel would decimate the attacker. Of course the US with all her might would step in as well.

We should not be so involved in protecting Israel. Some if not all of the protection comes from neocon biblical views of "I will bless those who bless thee, and curse those who curse thee". Standard course for the neo's. It doesn't seem to be working though. We are cursed with this current crazy administration.

[ChiMan1]

Oh My! What can Be Done ??? Do like all good Liberals do Stick Your Heads Back in the Sand. Regards!

[NATO91]

huh?

[oshkosh2]

What few are mentioning about Iran is that they have a modest military budget by middle-east standards. Military analyst feel they have no ability to project forces beyond their borders. Their military purchases have been mainly defensive in nature.

[transendentilist]

OSH, that is a very astute point. I have been saying for awile now, that an invasion of Iran would be a hundred times harder, and bloodier. They Have a large army, and they are well equiped. They have over twice the land mass. An invasion would be insane, and lead to the deaths of millions.
Baby bush, trying to convince us that Iran has nukes, or is building them, is a farce. They may be building a bomb, but all estimates of their progress say they would not have a working bomb for another 3 to 5 years.

[birddog]

Impeachment only takes an hour (actually 15 minutes to vote); no more time should be wasted on this idiot. A promise of rendition to Syria of both nuts by any democratic candidate for pres. gets my vote and millions more.

[VitriolAndAngst]

Kucinich was saying that the Next Democratic President should choose to throw the outgoing administration in prison -- with current laws, there is nothing to it.

He didn't talk about rendering though...

For me, Kucinich or Edwards are the way to go. After the economy collapses and they PROBABLY try to cover it up with another war -- I think many people will want someone like Edwards who can use his skills to go after the corporations that profited from our downfall. Someone has to pay off this debt, and it might as well be the people who enjoyed it.

[whomung]

Boy, is that true.... War profiters have to give it all back for reparations and rebuilding

They don't get to make billions, and then keep the money ... dumping the cost of cleaning up their GLOBAL DISASTER on the middle and working class, or by cutting services to the poor

[radmul]

As I read this the congress is failing to override the Bush veto of SCHIP. If they cant stand up over a popular issue like children's health care you can be sure they wont over war.

[ErrinF]

You forgot the part wherein Bush declares martial law and remains president for life. That would complete this paranoid fantasy of an article you've got here.

[JusticiaParaTodos]

It is quite clear that the demokrats are useless against Bush. They neither have the backbone or the principles to take the fascists on!

My friends we the people of the United States need to begin considering what OUR options are!
We could all learn valuable lessons from the people of 1930's Germany! GOT REVOLUTION?

[VitriolAndAngst]

As for fantasies, I picture you in dark socks and a bathrobe, pleasuring yourself over the thought of "President Bush for life" or at least a war with Iran.

That would complete the diet plan wherein I lose my lunch.

[tandrmcdonald]

ErrinF;
You'll be smirking out of the other side of your mouth if/when the fantasy turns out to be reality.
You need to get out of the Republican bubble and see what's happening in the real world, Cupcake.
Gramma Rose

[whomung]

I don't think this is outside of possibility, given the signing statements Bush put in place...

It's happened elsewhere....

[WIpatriot]

Nothing like waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan before yelling "Duck!"