Bob Franken

Bob Franken

Posted December 20, 2008 | 03:28 PM (EST)

Algergone

digg Share this on Facebook Huffpost - stumble reddit del.ico.us RSS

If only Horatio Alger had been around today instead of the 19th century, so he could write new stories about how hard work is all it takes to make your fortune. He would have so much material.

Actually the updated saga would begin in a late 20th century setting for a character who was living the American Dream. Perhaps he would have landed his first job, right out of college, with Time-Warner, just in time for all the excitement of the merger with AOL. We could have marveled with him at the geniuses who came up with that idea. Not only that, but there were seemingly endless other exciting employment prospects what with so many high-tech companies which were growing wildly.

But our hero decided on the Enron Corporation. Where else could he watch creative entrepreneurs in action? The only better place might be one of those huge accounting firms who always made sure things stayed on the straight and narrow.

By now, it was time to put down roots. Nothing marks stability like buying a home. After all, the value of real estate always increases. He did wonder how it was he was able to borrow so much, for such a big house, on his still-small salary. But who was he to question? Let the good times roll. And if things got tough, he could always moonlight in his hometown as a telephone customer service rep. That had become such a growth industry here in the US of A.

There was no question he would soon be worth more. Look at how the stock markets and all the equities put a lie to the law of gravity. There was nothing to worry about. Government regulators were always there to make sure things were on the up and up. Making money was as sure a thing as, say, General Motors... "Like a Rock."

After awhile he became such an investment expert that he moved on to the world of high finance. The money was so good at Lehman Brothers that he couldn't resist. He worked in the Hedge Fund Department, dealing in "can't miss" Derivatives. He came upon this remarkable fund where he could stash most of his personal wealth. The portfolio was run by this brilliant guy named Bernie Madoff. He had an astoundingly track record and so many really really rich people who put their trust in the guy. They had to know what they were doing. Madoff had an uncanny ability to bring in consistent returns, no matter how the market was doing. And again, hadn't the SEC investigated at one point and given Bernie Madoff a clean bill of health? What could go wrong?

Our guy was living large. Even when a few piddly things didn't quite work out, he never lost his sense of optimism, his belief in the system that had made our country so great. Did I mention, by the way, his name was Paul E. Anna? He still has that same cheery outlook. He believes his future is bright. After all, he still has his 401k.

If only Horatio Alger had been around today instead of the 19th century, so he could write new stories about how hard work is all it takes to make your fortune. He would have so much material. Actua...
If only Horatio Alger had been around today instead of the 19th century, so he could write new stories about how hard work is all it takes to make your fortune. He would have so much material. Actua...
 
Comments
4
Pending Comments
0
iPhone App Promo

Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to

View Comments:

I know exactly what the writer means. 11 years in high finance watching all of the above unfold. I truly believe this is an epoch, and though sad, this is necessary. I left before it all blew up, totally worn down by the bullsh1t, but know there are plenty more dark secrets to come out. We need to think more seriously about the type of society we want to have and always be watchful of those who seek to bend the rules. Either way, the gig is up, and things have to change.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 12:06 PM on 12/22/2008

Nobody cares how hard you work. What you produce is what counts.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 11:19 AM on 12/22/2008

This is so depressing. I haven't even dared to look at my TSP. I'm a federal employee, civilian. I am just glad that I have my little old 1926 house that I can give to my daughters, I think I can pay it off in six years. So in that I am lucky. I was woo'd and charmed by several friends trying to unload their houses three or four years back tempting me with their prettier houses, and all I said to them was, "How can I pay the property tax on that? " I currently live in the home I've been in since 1990. To roll over at the inflated price, I would be on the streets. So Merry Christmas to all, and if you have a little home, stay in it. Right now in California, the Allstate Insurance guys are dropping mountain residents left and right. They are criminals. The homes that were lost in all these fires were in the cities, not in the mouuntains. But they are dropping us, to pay for the big expensive houses that were lost by the East Winds in town. So more good folk will lose their homes due to not having mortgage insurance, even though they've paid faithfully for 20 years or more. What a third world country we live in.

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 07:34 AM on 12/22/2008
photo

Then again, some realize just what they really do have.

They are the lucky ones.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znAQoOkkvp4&feature=related

    Favorite    Flag as abusive Posted 05:19 PM on 12/20/2008
Comments are closed for this entry

You must be logged in to reply to this comment. Log in  or  Connect