For Some Extra Excitement, Try Visiting The Right-Wing Blogosphere

For many years, theoretical physicists have kicked around the idea that there might exist, alongside our own universe, alternative universes where different realities are taking place. Some even postulated that it might be possible to visit such places, perhaps through warps in the space-time continuum. Stephen Hawking, the brilliant successor to Einstein whose earlier musings had helped fuel such speculation, recently concluded that he was wrong and that such a possibility was in fact unlikely.

But I know Hawking is wrong. I have traveled to such an alternative universe, and you can, too. Just go RealClearPolitics.com and scroll down to the lower right-hand and click on "Reader Articles". Here, you will enter the world of the right-wing blogosphere, where a reality exists that is vastly different from the universe you and I inhabit.

In this alternative political universe, the big news for the past several weeks has been the "fact" that Barack Obama is not a natural-born US Citizen and therefore not eligible to be President. In the real world, of course, Senator Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on August 4, 1961. But in the alternative universe, that's not true. The birth certificate attesting to Obama's birth is a clever forgery, according to "Mondoreb" who writes for the site "Death by a Thousand Papercuts: a Rip-Snortin' Gang of Hardcore Right-Wing Cutthroats". Mondoreb debunks the confirmation by factcheck.org, the neutral site that tries to dispel internet rumors by actually examining the facts. Factcheck.org said it had "seen, touched, examined, and photographed the original birth certificate. ... Our conclusion: Obama was born in the U.S.A. as he has always said." Not good enough for Mondoreb, who notes that factcheck.org receives funding from the Annenberg Foundation ... the same foundation that funded the charity whose board Obama sat on with William Ayers. Factcheck.org, therefore, is nothing but a bunch of "Annenberg Fact Checkers". What about the birth announcement that appeared in a Honolulu newspaper at the time? "Not much more than window-dressing" says Mondoreb. To this group, "It is possible that Obama conspired his way to the precipice of the world's biggest job, involving a vast network of people and government agencies over decades of lies." Pretty smart for a little tot.

Hot news on this alternative universe front came over the weekend, when "texasdarlin" reported "Breaking News" of "an unverified tip that certified copies of a Kenyan Birth Certificate for Obama were sent from Kenya and have been received by three separate individuals." You can imagine the reaction in the blogosphere to this news! "Oh happy day," Michelle M. crooned. "Omigod" wrote Papoose, "worth the wait!" EmCrouchon "guesses" that among the people who have copies of the foreign birth certificate are "1) Bill and Hillary Clinton, 2) The Republican Party ... The reason the Clintons are waiting is because they know they can't win in November. Bringing out the [birth certificate] will so demoralize black Democrats, they won't go to the polls to vote, and the Democrats will lose - BIG TIME! The Republicans are holding back because they prefer to win this election on the issues and presenting better ideas for governing. Conservatives consider using gimmicks (truly!) to win an elective office dishonorable." (Gosh darn, those noble conservative Republicans!) "It is shocking the DNC let this happen," laments DavidC, while Hilarysmygirl08 sees a bright side for her and other Clinton donors: "Clinton and her supporters can sue the DNC for years, especially the ones who have donated to her campaign." As an aside, several contributors offered that this explained why Obama went to Hawaii for his "vacation" (I mean, who goes to Hawaii for a vacation): to threaten his maternal grandmother, who knows the truth, into silence. That is why Obama's grandma is "now locked away".

The other hot breaking news story in Universe B this weekend was posted on the "Hillbuzz" site: "Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald One Step Closer to Indicting Obama." Apparently, Tony Rezko is cracking under the strain as he awaits sentencing and is about to finally reveal the truth about Senator Obama's criminal activities. This means that "Barack Obama will serve a prison sentence in the next few years -- because knowing Fitzgerald, there is no reason he would be going through all of this if that was not the targeted goal in the long term." The bloggers were ecstatic at the news: "That is sooo!! the truth," swooned CountryFirstMcCain08. But Duncan is a bit worried: "make sure this comes out before the Election as President Biden would be a worry, but funny! but he would only last a few weeks as he would be forced to resign due to some Gaffe. that mean President Pelosi. then that would trigger Hillary 2010." [spelling and punctuation in original] Julianne Barbaro, meanwhile, is beside herself with anticipation over the prospect: "Please don't get our hopes up only to have them come crashing down, say because maybe Obama's thugs, courtesy of Farrakhan, will threaten Rezko's family to make him shut up...or something like that. The emotional roller-coaster of hoping that the truth will out itself in time is just too much anymore, especially on top of the challenges of everyday life. TRUTH, where are you? Come out, come out wherever you are! HURRY!!!"

Aside from Obama's foreign birth, another subject of big news in the alternative universe is William Ayers, the 60s Weatherman who is but a footnote in history in our universe. Sarah Palin may think that Obama's involvement with Ayers is limited to "palling around" with the terrorist, but not the bloggers. David Hinz, for instance, asks the question all of us really know the answer to, "Did William Ayers Write Barack Obama's First Memoir?" The proof: both use "poetic images" in their writing, a trick apparently no other author has thought of. While it can't be "guarantee[d] without question" that Ayers was the ghost writer, "the evidence would certainly hold up in most American courts of law." But the ties go even further, according to SavagePolitics.com, which helpfully publishes the "Ayers/Obama Timeline" which chronicles such heretofore-unknown facts as, " 1988 = Ayers solicits Khalid Al-Mansour to raise money for Obama's Harvard law School education; 1989 = Tom Ayers and William Ayers get Obama a summer job at Sidley & Austin (where he meets Michelle Obama); Ayers' wife Bernadine Dohrn also worked at Sidley at about the same time as Barack and Michelle." I can only surmise from this that William Ayers, having concluded that radicals couldn't take power by violent means, came up with the idea of gaining control by ... running an African-American with the name Barack Hussein Obama for President?

Meanwhile, Marion Valentine, a former "naval intelligence officer," exposes another conspiracy in his "From Naval Intell: Economic Collapse by Design: How Socialists Pushed Obama to the Top." It seems that because of the success of the Iraq War, which threatened their plans to install Obama in the White House, the "dishonest radical socialists who call themselves Democrats" had to resort to "plan B by having their ultra wealthy cronies manipulate the stock market and futures markets so they could set out to tank the American Economy." You didn't realize Barack Obama was a socialist? Oh yes, and this is the subject of a whole other strain of news in this universe. According to American Thinker, for example, "archives prove ... that Barack Obama was a member of the New Party," a "radical Marxist group aimed at gaining control of the Democratic party aimed at implementing a hardline version of socialism." New Party members apparently had to "sign a contract" promising they would stay under control of the New Party. (Or what, get sued?) Thomas Lifson, the author of this revelation, has a great suggestion for the next debate: "The candidate should be pressed by McCain/Palin to reveal that contract and proclaim his adherence to New Party goals before the American people approve him for our highest office."

There's far more alternative universe news out there to entertain you should you tire of the dull stock market plunges, election battles or the latest "Dancing With the Stars" developments - Obama's responsibility for the election violence in Kenya; his nefarious plans for an Islamic state; his deep involvement with the ACORN voter fraud incidents, and so on. But let me lend a note of caution: Don't get personally involved in the workings of this alternative universe or the results could be disastrous. Once, I tried gingerly to suggest that the factual premises on which one of the blogs was based might not be actually true. The response was swift and uncompromising: "Bob V. is a moron," the next post read.

Comments

[QHRoper]

BV, due to the far left bias you display in your writings, the only way your readers could possibly ascertain a logical interpretation of the issues you raise is by acquiring knowledge from a source opposite of you on the political spectrum. The issue is finding that source. Even Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and "Death by a 1000 Papercuts" are more moderate than you or this website. An equally opposite perspective would have to be expressed by someone like Eric Rudolph, an unrepentant abortion clinic bomber. The problem is when someone expresses their views that are equally opposite of your own, they are dismissed as lunatics by the conservative movement, while you are wrongfully embraced as an intellectual and enlightening.
In regards to this pathetic piece of literature, which thankfully was never printed and therefore, no trees were harmed in the writing of this bull crap, you only dismiss one issue presented by "DBKP", involving the lawsuit filed by Philip J. Berg against Barack Hussein Obama. Readers should review the merits of the lawsuit, in regards to the complaint filed by Berg, in order for them to discern for themselves the validity of Berg"s complaints. If you would like to display your legal prowess, in regards to your interpretations of the 2nd Amendment of the U.S. Constitution and the immigration and residency laws at the time of the alleged violations as they apply to this case, I would be very interested in reading them.

[Glenn1441]

BV... Like you, I passed through the looking glass to Bizarro-world. But I did so only once. I left rather immediately, lol. I was able to survive the ordeal only by reminding myself that those cretins are a minority.

That said... here's welcome evidence of intelligent life on Earth One: A link to Princeton Professor Sam Wang's electoral analysis, current, sobering and encouraging...

http://election.princeton.edu/

[mondoreb]

Entertaining read.

However, readers may check out the article themselves to see if Bob's description is accurate.

The story in question wasn't linked [http://deathby1000papercuts.com/2008/10/obama-birth-cerificate-federal-lawsuit-the-curious-behavior-of-the-obama-campaign/].

To this group, "It is possible that Obama conspired his way to the precipice of the world's biggest job, involving a vast network of people and government agencies over decades of lies."

This was a quote from FactCheck.org quoting PolitiFact.com (and was clearly marked as a quote with links to both).

My comment?

"Although the good folks at Politifact might think the scenario played out that way, we"re not much given to conspiracy theories.

Anyone who"s spent much time trying to prove their identity after having their driver"s license stolen or lost these days, knows that government bureaucrats rarely exhibit the ambition or initiative such a conspiracy would entail."

I did posit that perhaps a mistake may have been made.

Mistakes by bureaucrats may never happen in Bob's real universe, but in the alternate one...?

Even if he took a bit of artistic license, Bob V. got the name of DBKP spelled correctly and that's the most important thing. By reading the original article, readers themselves can judge if we're lunatics. Time will tell about the rest.

[BVanderet]

I do indeed encourage readers to go directly to Mondoreb's site (and to the other right-wing bloggers I quoted), just as I did in the article, to see if my characterizations are fair and accurate. Yes, Mondoreb does say "we're not much given to conspiracy theories," a rather bizzare assertion for a posting that posits that factcheck.org was not a "neutral fact evaluator" because of connections to the Annenberg Foundation, which funded the board Obama sat on, etc., which in my book counts as a conspiracy theory. The whole post gives credence to a "controversy" that in the universe most of us operate is a rather bizarre and silly side show. As for the site supposedly merely positing that "perhaps a mistake may have been made," the posting ends with the question, "Is Barack Obama constitutionally qualified to be President of the United States? We don't know." This doesn't leave open the possibility of a "mistake". For the birth announcement, the certified copy of the Hawaiin birth certificate, the factcheck.org confirmation and Obama's own affirmations not to be true, it could ONLY be the result of a vast fraudulent conspiracy, not a mistake. But, please, go ahead, go directly to the site and make your own evaluation. And thanks to Mondo Frazier for coming over to the light side!

[wandering girl]

actually, there is both good news and a big grain of truth in their ravings: they've all acknowledged that Obama will be our next president. their billshut is just their rationle of how that'll happen. : )

[NowWhatFolks]

The left has them, and it's soooo frustrating to try and speak to them logically. The main difference, in my experience, is that your typical "liberal" will agree that their fringe is really nuts. On the right, the "mainstream conservative" is far closer to their fringe, and will end up either defending them or attacking you if you question them.

[QHRoper]

Really? As far as I have ascertained is that if you question Barack Obama in any way, you are accused of being a racist. How can I be a racist when I have an African American house keeper?

[gretchenart]

I used to read all the fairy tales I could get my hands on when I was about 8 years old. Then I grew up. Thanks but no Thanks, though I guess it is important to track the number of readers, etc. of such alternative sites, as these people can be ultimately quite dangerous in their rapid psychoses.

[jmpurser]

All I can say folks is he's not kidding and reality actually gets far worse.

[ReElectNoOne]

So what do you expect? If you ask the devil if he is the devil he will deny it of course.

In the right-wing sphere no one reads anything else but right-wing propaganda. I doubt one of those reptilian brained readers can understand the concept of checking the facts even if they were branded onto their flippers.

Some people actually bathe in their own ignorance and defy anyone to actually teach them anything. Sadly that is the state of too many people who claim to be patriots yet who refuse to understand anything about the real America.

[StopCensoringMe]

.
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I weep for America. Even once we win this darn election, we will still have these low-information knuckledraggers making up a sizeable chunk of the electorate scheming up all kinds of hatred. I pray the Secret Service is up to the task of protecting the 44th President of the United States, President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden. May I awake one day to find out that the last 40 years have all been a terrible dream and that America really is a vibrant country filled with intelligent people who walk and talk the true path of Freedom.

Someone please wake me up.
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[littlepuffycloud]

I too weep, no sob uncontrollably, for America. I wish I could go back to ignorant bliss, but it is too late for me. I have children and grandchildren coming soon, so I can't stick my head back into the sand. You are not alone..listen closely late at night and you can hear us collectively weep...

[TXCourtney]

The hardest part is when these venomous lies corrupt your own parents' ability to see reality. My mom told me I have terrible judgment, no moral principles, no soul, and no patriotism because I wouldn't agree with all this BS she sent my way. My dad says he thinks I might be his enemy.

I love my parents, but I think they've gone through the looking glass...I hope we can be a loving family again some day.

[Pdubya]

so, do you discard it all or sieve through it and find truth in both camps?

i firmly have supported my belief that this economic collapse has been by design. W. prepped the Constitution. Obama will sell us the New World Order.

call me a quack, I don't care. The remnant will prevail.