Rules for Going Out to Eat: Where to Sit, What to Order, How to Share

There are few things worse than spending the money, time, and OpenTable refreshes for a great restaurant meal -- and then having it all just flop.
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by Belle Cushing

We at Bon Appétit eat at a lot of restaurants. A lot. And none of us more so than resident restaurant-goer Andrew Knowlton (the guy ate three dinners a night in his search for our Hot 10). But if an escape-from-reality evening out is what keeps us going, there are few things worse than spending the money, time, and OpenTable refreshes for a great restaurant meal—and then having it all just flop. You ordered wrong. The wait made everyone cranky. There wasn’t enough wine. It’s happened to the best of us, but somewhere around the millionth muttering of “Ugh, I coulda made these green beans better at home,” we realized a few things about what makes a successful night out. Here, some tips and tricks we’ve picked up from eating out like it’s our job—because, well, it is.

1. When to go: Early…

“If I’m eating out on the weekend, I like to go around 5:30 or 6. That way, you’ll always get a table (or a spot at the bar), the staff is super attentive, and the lighting is better for Instagramming. Kidding! Sort of.” —Alison Roman, senior associate food editor

…and in a Small Group

“Eating out with a big group is a crapshoot. Somewhere past four people, the experience becomes less about the food and more about the conversation and company. At that point, I’d rather be at home, or somewhere super casual, doing dinner family-style.” —Andrew Knowlton, restaurant and drinks editor

“If I’m critically interested in a restaurant’s food, I never show up with more than three other people—there are several varieties of torture I’d prefer to negotiating a menu with a large group.”Amiel Stanek, assistant to the editor in chief

1a. Eating Alone Is Cool

“If there’s a new no-reservations restaurant you’re desperate to try, make a point to go crazy early, or go by yourself and eat at the bar. Dinner out with five of your closest friends is not the time to try the buzziest place in town.” —Meryl Rothstein, senior editor

1b. Make Tuesdays Special

“I just don’t go to dinner on a Friday night.” —Alfia Muzio, test kitchen contributor

1c. Waiting Is Better With Drinks

“If I’m going to a place where I know there will be a wait, I’ll go around 7 p.m. with the intention of eating around 9. Pick a bar nearby for waiting. Manage your expectations and no one will be mad you had to wait.” —AR

2. Where To Sit: Wherever You Want…

“If you are unhappy where you’re sitting, just ask to switch. It sounds fussy, but is likely not a big deal in the end, especially if you see open tables with the number of people in your party.” —AR

2a. …Although Really, We Recommend the Bar

“If it’s just you and one other person, always sit at the bar. There are plenty of diners who (for whatever reason) will take an hour’s wait over a bar seat, so there’s a higher chance you’ll get seated right away. And service at the bar is just as good, if not better, as a prime table on the floor. There’s a certain rapport to be had with a waiter who’s always right in front of you. Of course, for more than two people, a table is the only way to go.” —AK

3. What (Not) To Order: Be Adventurous

“Unless you’re doing so purely for research purposes, never order something you love to cook at home—you’ll be disappointed.” —Matt Gross, web editor

“Always order the weirdest thing on the menu—it’s probably there for a reason. As for that side of spinach? It’s probably gonna taste exactly the same as the sautéed spinach you make at home.” Carey Polis, senior web editor

3a. Identify the Restaurant’s Strengths, and Play to Them

“Always order breakfast food at a diner (unless you’re going to order a grilled cheese). If you’re going to a restaurant for a second (or third time, etc.), always order something you didn’t get last time.” —MR

If you’re not at a steakhouse, don’t order a steak.” —MG

Never order pasta at a pizza place. The pizza will just be better.” —Adam Rapoport, editor in chief

“If the dessert offerings are limited to panna cotta, chocolate pot de crème, and ice cream, do not order dessert.” Julia Kramer, associate restaurant editor

“I always order the chicken dish and the tongue. Roast chicken is a great barometer of how much the chef cares. Chicken went from ultimate homey comfort food—the thing you’d never order—to the simplest expression of a chef’s talent. As for the tongue, well, it’s an overlooked dish. Sometimes the odder the cut, the more attention the chef gives to it.” —AK

3b. Entrées Not Required

“Don’t feel like you have to order an entrée. There’s often more creativity in bar snacks and starters.” —AK

“Plus, you get to try more that way.” —CP

3c. Mix It Up—Within Reason

“I always make sure to order something different from my dining companions. I expect them to share with me, and I want to try as much as possible. Corollary: If trying to curate people’s orders makes them angry, just let them all get the salmon and shut up about it. Remember that not everyone treats restaurant-going like something you can win.” —Belle Cushing, editorial assistant

3d. Share Strategically

“If you’re with a group, ask how many of each thing comes in an order. Ordering a plate of fritters for a group of six? There may only be four to an order. I ask if they can bring six, even if that means additional charges. If they won’t, just go for two orders.” —Alison Roman

3e. Pro Tip from a Hot 10 Chef

“Don’t be afraid to ask us to cook off-menu for you! We are constantly getting exciting product that might not necessarily be on the menu yet.” —Eli Kulp, High Street on Market, Philadelphia

4. Kids Can Come, Too

“We usually order our son’s food first and talk while he is eating. He can play a game (or color or yes, use his iPad) while we eat. We carry dice, crayons, and paper, and Highlights magazines in his bag so that he always has quiet toys to play with.” —Stacey Rivera, digital director

4a. Well, Sometimes

“We don’t take him with us to a restaurant we haven’t been to before (or is not obviously a kid-friendly joint) so that we aren’t making other people, or him, uncomfortable. You need to know what you are walking into with a kid.” —SR

5. Be Nice

“It’s common sense: Everyone at the restaurant is just doing their job.” —AK

6. Rules Are for Sticklers

Lest we forget that going out to dinner is supposed to be fun, chef Chris Gould of Hot 10 restaurant Central Provisions, reminds us to take all of the above and throw them out the window. “Go to have fun and be open-minded!”

Oh right. That is what this is all about.

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