Elizabeth Edwards Drank Her Husband's Kool-Aid And Became His "Ambition Enabler"

It's easy to understand why John Edwards first felt he was entitled to cheat on his wife and family, and then second, thought he could keep it secret from the American public. He is a self-admitted "narcissist", and narcissists believe they are entitled to whatever they want, whenever they want it. As psychologist Cooper Lawrence told me, "they always think some other poor schnook will get caught, not them."

The bigger question is "why did Elizabeth Edwards drink her husband's Kool-Aid? How could she have possibly believed that her husbands affair would remain a private matter when he was running for President of the United States? Hello, the National Enquirer had already broken the story last fall. Why in fact, did she knowingly encourage her spouse to even enter the campaign when she had been fully informed about the affair for over a year? And she helped support and propagate John Edwards' image as a devoted husband and family man.

She was so supportive that she even remained committed to his campaign after the discovery of her metastasized breast cancer. Despite the fact that she was facing a terminal illness, she was willing to take flack for her belief that John Edwards' presidential campaign was so important that not even her own health should stand in the way of its proceeding.

Elizabeth Edwards is now protesting in her own public statement that the public appetite to 'know" is the real culprit in the situation. The 'public' is being voyeuristic in her view and is getting in the way of her family's right to privacy.

Well, she may not want to admit it but Elizabeth is as guilty as her husband at this point, in inviting the public into her family's personal life. Once Bill Clinton's antics in the White House with Monica Lewinsky became Page One headlines for months, no presidential candidate or their family could ever realistically kid themselves, that marital fidelity would not be an issue in political life. If she had any questions about that last spring, she only had to make a call to Silda Spitzer.

No, Elizabeth Edwards had to be in some extraordinary form of denial and that's why she became her husband's "ambition enabler", when she supported his recent run for the presidency. My belief is that after almost thirty years of marriage she too had become so invested in his political ambitions, his cause, that she couldn't give up either, even after he cheated and she knew there was a chance his affair could be reported in the mainstream press.

"His success, now defined her success, so she was willing to go along with the fraud that that their marriage was fine," believes psychologist Victoria Zdrok, currently working on a book titled," Dr. Z on Straying."

Think about it. The Edwards met in law school; She still wears the $11 wedding ring he gave her. He became a successful trial lawyer and then a member of the Senate. She pursued a law career too but ultimately gave it up to support his career and take care of their family. As a couple they experienced the worst of tragedies, the death of their 16 year-old son, and then they made the decision to have two more children. It's easy to understand why Elizabeth Edwards would feel that her marriage was worth salvaging after her spouses' episode of infidelity. It's the presidential campaign that is far harder to understand.

That's why I believe that it's because Elizabeth had made such an enormous personal commitment to her role as her husband's helpmate and as a potential first lady and had made so many sacrifices over the years in the interests of realizing those goals, that she was willing to risk public exposure.

Her terminal illness may actually have also played a role in her decision to publicly stand by her man and his presidential ambitions, according to Zdrok. "When we seek death, we often seek to achieve a symbolic immortality. And becoming a presidential wife could have been that for her."

In any case, Elizabeth Edwards was a victim when her husband cheated. She did nothing to deserve that and as a wife she had every right and many reasons to forgive the jerk. But the decision to stand behind him and publicly broadcast his staunch family values image was her own doing. As courageous and admirable as she has been in dealing with her cancer, she is now the latest member of the Publicly Humiliated Wives Club, and she has no right to complain about the public's interest in knowing exactly what has happened. She helped get herself in this situation.

Follow Bonnie Fuller on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bonniefuller

Comments

[dawlishgal]

Edwards did not dump his wife and marry his mistress. John McCain did. And we don't hear anything about that from the MSM. I can't and won't blame Elizabeth for forgiving her husband. She has enough to face right now without adding carry a grudge to her list of problems.

I wish somebody would psychoanalyize McCain....­seems to me a more fruitful venture right now than focussing on somebody who isn't even a candidate anymore.

[gemcando06]

It is none of our business if a couple choose to stay married or get divorced.G­ad, we Americans are so nosey and too quick to judge.
And the sexism involved in called Mrs. Edwards ambitious.
What do you expect a wife to do - trash him?

[Mildmannered]

you make some good points, dawlishgal

[max365]

Ouch, that was a little judgmental. What did you expect her to do? It was probably not a great decision to continue campaigning with all these hanging over their heads. She knows that now. No one wins anyway from this situation.

I felt bad for her actually. I didn't care about the campaign, though his donors must be raving mad now. It must hurt to hear herself referred to as cancer ridden or terminally ill. Must be worse to hear about the replacement in her husband's affections.

I definitely wish her all the very best for her and her children. No one deserves to go through this mess.

[FACINGREALIT]

And the point is she didn't have to go through all this mess - it was a conscious decision on her part to do so which makes her an enabler for him and a terrible example for her children who are the only innocent people in this debacle.

[Fabienne]

I rue the day the phrase "drinking the Kool-Aid" ever entered the political discourse.

[LJMinOKC]

I think the writer might be over analyzing here -- perhaps the Edwards thought we were all more grown up ... and it was their problem to solve. Actually, we all have more important problems to solve .... like how to keep John McCain out of the White House.

[blindjester]

Exactly. Thank you for having perspective.

[FACINGREALIT]

And if John had become the Democratic nominee and this story broke - what do you think our chances would have been towards that endeavor. That is the point - they had their privacy - this would be a non-issue, however they decided to run for the highest office in the land without any respect to what that decision would have done to the their family and general populace had he become the nominee. The writer is on point!

[ViciousKitty]

If he had won the nomination, then we would have had to decide between two cheaters.

[Nishnabe]

Well said. As painful as it is to admit, forgiving him is one thing; participating in the attempted hoodwinking of the public is quite another. Until Obama seemed to have a chance, I was willing to support Edwards because having two families control the White House for nearly thirty years was too much to bear even given I am a life-long Democrat and so much want a woman to break that celing. I remember telling someone last year that Edwards was too self-absorbed to have not had an affair. Intuition I guess. You have articulated something many of us have intuited but said it so well. Thanks.

[Fabienne]

I guess this could also apply to Senator Clinton, as she stood behind her husband when he was running for President after he had had affairs. I suppose one could argue that perhaps she didn't know about the earlier affairs, though none of us really know. I was opposed to airing the Clinton's private lives in public just as I am opposed to airing the Edwards' private lives in public, and I believe both men's affairs and the subsequent lying about them do not mean either man is unfit to serve in the politics of this country. If he truly expected absolute honesty from our politicians, we would have to dump nearly all of them.

[esully64]

Well Said Bonnie.
Elizabeth's comments demonstrated that she is a classic enabler. Though she was truly duped by her philandering husband and is subsequently deserving of our collective sympathy, her culpability in perpetuating a fraud on the American voter is disappointing indeed. Even if self-described narcissistic John couldn't see the inappropriateness of a 2008 candidacy that seeks to hide the evidence, she had every obligation to refuse to go along with it.

It begs the question though-- given the French inspired "cold-shower climate" declaring that "we all sin", what would have happened if they had just been honest BEFORE he returned to presidential politics? Would we have found his honesty refreshing?