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Elizabeth Edwards Drank Her Husband's Kool-Aid And Became His "Ambition Enabler"
It's easy to understand why John Edwards first felt he was entitled to cheat on his wife and family, and then second, thought he could keep it secret from the American public. He is a self-admitted "narcissist", and narcissists believe they are entitled to whatever they want, whenever they want it. As psychologist Cooper Lawrence told me, "they always think some other poor schnook will get caught, not them."
The bigger question is "why did Elizabeth Edwards drink her husband's Kool-Aid? How could she have possibly believed that her husbands affair would remain a private matter when he was running for President of the United States? Hello, the National Enquirer had already broken the story last fall. Why in fact, did she knowingly encourage her spouse to even enter the campaign when she had been fully informed about the affair for over a year? And she helped support and propagate John Edwards' image as a devoted husband and family man.
She was so supportive that she even remained committed to his campaign after the discovery of her metastasized breast cancer. Despite the fact that she was facing a terminal illness, she was willing to take flack for her belief that John Edwards' presidential campaign was so important that not even her own health should stand in the way of its proceeding.
Elizabeth Edwards is now protesting in her own public statement that the public appetite to 'know" is the real culprit in the situation. The 'public' is being voyeuristic in her view and is getting in the way of her family's right to privacy.
Well, she may not want to admit it but Elizabeth is as guilty as her husband at this point, in inviting the public into her family's personal life. Once Bill Clinton's antics in the White House with Monica Lewinsky became Page One headlines for months, no presidential candidate or their family could ever realistically kid themselves, that marital fidelity would not be an issue in political life. If she had any questions about that last spring, she only had to make a call to Silda Spitzer.
No, Elizabeth Edwards had to be in some extraordinary form of denial and that's why she became her husband's "ambition enabler", when she supported his recent run for the presidency. My belief is that after almost thirty years of marriage she too had become so invested in his political ambitions, his cause, that she couldn't give up either, even after he cheated and she knew there was a chance his affair could be reported in the mainstream press.
"His success, now defined her success, so she was willing to go along with the fraud that that their marriage was fine," believes psychologist Victoria Zdrok, currently working on a book titled," Dr. Z on Straying."
Think about it. The Edwards met in law school; She still wears the $11 wedding ring he gave her. He became a successful trial lawyer and then a member of the Senate. She pursued a law career too but ultimately gave it up to support his career and take care of their family. As a couple they experienced the worst of tragedies, the death of their 16 year-old son, and then they made the decision to have two more children. It's easy to understand why Elizabeth Edwards would feel that her marriage was worth salvaging after her spouses' episode of infidelity. It's the presidential campaign that is far harder to understand.
That's why I believe that it's because Elizabeth had made such an enormous personal commitment to her role as her husband's helpmate and as a potential first lady and had made so many sacrifices over the years in the interests of realizing those goals, that she was willing to risk public exposure.
Her terminal illness may actually have also played a role in her decision to publicly stand by her man and his presidential ambitions, according to Zdrok. "When we seek death, we often seek to achieve a symbolic immortality. And becoming a presidential wife could have been that for her."
In any case, Elizabeth Edwards was a victim when her husband cheated. She did nothing to deserve that and as a wife she had every right and many reasons to forgive the jerk. But the decision to stand behind him and publicly broadcast his staunch family values image was her own doing. As courageous and admirable as she has been in dealing with her cancer, she is now the latest member of the Publicly Humiliated Wives Club, and she has no right to complain about the public's interest in knowing exactly what has happened. She helped get herself in this situation.
Follow Bonnie Fuller on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bonniefuller
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Jeez! Where is Bll Maher?
I'd give my left ear lobe to have him weigh-in on this.
Since 2003 the US killed 1M Iraqis!
Why not worry what says about the moral status of the nation than what J and E Edwards are doing to save their marriage!
and there you have it.
Bingo!
After she disclosed that her cancer had spread to her bones she said "I now know what is going to kill me." Now I wonder if she was referring to her disease.
Ms. Fuller,
You covered an aspect of the Edwards’ Story that needed exposure. This is the tragic story of two once very likeable, intelligent people who ruined their own reputations through unnecessary calculated lies and deceit. Putting one’s own family on the pedestal as the perfect American Family, when in fact the family leaders were actually dysfunctional, is beyond the pale. They had a great family story and all the financial means to do whatsoever they wanted; instead, they *both* denigrated everything they espoused and disingenuously displayed a façade to the electorate to bolster their egos and grandiose ambitions.
What a terrible family legacy for parents to leave for their two young children!
1. This issue is non-of-our business.
2. It's is between Elizabeth & John Edwards.
3. Unlike most of us, Elizabeth has bigger things to worry about.
4. John is not an elected official, even if he was so what.
5. There are many pressing issues to investing & write about
6. If you care about this country write about those issue
and I might add:
7. If this issue is written about, then give equal time to the nominee of the Republican Party and his scandal ridden past of leaving his sick wife for a young, rodeo queen, beer heiress named Cindy Hensen.
Do you feel the way way about Bill and Hillary Clinton?
By the way, misappropriation of campaign funds is a criminal offence.
I supported Edwards in 2004 mainly because I was so impressed with Elizabeth.
I don't like to be judgemental but I lost respect for Elizabeth at that time. After all, she had those two young children, the younger one born when she was 50! She had to have taken a barrel full of hormones to sustain those pregnancies and that alone, many people think, is a factor that caused her to be a high risk for breast cancer. I thought she had failed her children by not practicing preventative care. She was out on the campaign trail talking nonstop about healthcare issues, but we learned that she had not even taken care of her own health.
At the time, I also wondered why John Edwards had not found the LARGE tumor.
Elizabeth seems to be a brilliant woman with all the best intentions but I think she put her husband's political career ahead of everything, including her own health. To be "too busy" to have a mammogram, at least every year, was irresponsible and is costing her her life because it was undetected for too long.
And, obviously, her husband wasn't even worth it, after all.
For someone who doesn't like to be judgemental you certainly are.
Unless you know if her cancer is estrogen or progesterone related you're talking nonsense.
She didn't fail her children. Cancer happens. Go to a chemo ward and for every person who looks like they had lifestyle choices that fostered cancer you'll find others who practiced healthy living.
My wife is a breast cancer survivor. She was in denial even as her breast changed. And I was the one who had to rather delicately point out something is going on.
By large tumor what do you define as large? Anything larger than 2.5 cm is considered huge and yet 2.5 cms is only a little larger than an inch. What if she had a history of fibroids and thought it was a fibroid?
Just because her cancer might have been detected early doesn't mean it's curable.
Go read Dr. Love's The Breast Book, especially the section where she talks about women who should die but don't and others who should live die.
great post Robert59.
Wow.
So much perfection on this thread. I'm humbled to be in the presence of such paragons of virtue.
Who bloody cares? So John Edwards had sex. So his wife supported him.. So what if he were to be a the leader of the free world and he had a mistress. I bloody don't care and neither do millions of other people in this country who are more concerned about losing jobs, homes, income. Being unable to buy food, gas and essentials due to corporate invasion of the government and greedy market speculators trumps the puritanical shoulda, coulda ,woulda and blah, blah, blah family values and hand wringing.
All of this is simply rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
Do you feel the same way about Bill and Hillary Clinton?
what does that have to do with the price of rice in China? Hillary is no longer running. I could understand if you said -- Do you feel the same way about John McCain . ..
Based upon her terminal situatiion and grief given to her by Fox News, I contributed to the Edwards campaign . . . I also strongly endorsed him as Obama's running mate.
Thank God for the National Enquirer! Had he been on the ticket yesterday, Dems would be SOL.
Shame on you both.
If you based your decision as to who should be our President on "her terminal situation and greif given to her by FOX News," SHAME ON YOU!
Now go back to your Enquirer.
PUMAS need to also stop enabling dysfunctional women who make WRONG choices, and hold them accountable for the same. Hillary, Elizabeth, etc. have maneuvered the conversation to deflect from their complicity and accountability for propping up men who compromise our future. They have proffered their children or health issues -- which multiple millions of women silently deal with every day with dignity and w/out leveraging either -- as their justification and, to buttress their iconic status.
Hillary and Elizabeth are no victims. They are LAWYERS and know exactly what they are doing. They are participants in deceptions that compromise Americans and it is time for this complicity to stop allowing these lawyers to manipulate women to do the opposite of what is in their best interest -- for the ambition and power grab of an elite tier of dysfunctional women in dysfunctional marriages that are more about business and power grabs.
How many Americans have died because they lacked health insurance thanks to a neophyte President giving a massive project to his inexperienced, non-Security Cleared/Cabinet Member wife/First Lady as something for her to do or a quid-pro-quo for defending him during his pre-Election sex scandals? Women, stop being currency for these women. Healthcare will need the best, brightest and experienced hands on deck. Lives are at stake and our lives shouldn't be monopoly money for egomanial women who feel entitled to more than they have already been given. HRC isn't the only woman to suffer dissappointments, nor is Elizabeth the only woman to deal w/Cancer and have children to raise. These women are wealthy beyond our/their wildest dreams.
The difference -- most boomer women have long since LEARNED how do manage life's dissappointments and don't expect accomodati
You gave your financial support to a presidential campaign based on the health status of the candidate's wife and Faux News' treatment of her?
And now you regret that support because that candidate was unfaithful to his wife?
Well, no wonder you thank God for the National Enquirer!
In a democracy, we get the government we deserve, We also get the press we deserve. Maybe you might want to start basing your political activity on something a little more substantive than a tabloid. Just an idea.
So now the public must sit back, and be quiet? Or not say what is patently the truth because we like Elizabeth and don't want to hurt her? We all like Elizabeth and admire this woman for all the reasons she should be admired. But she conspired with her straying husband to shelve this serious issue of his philandering, in the midst of his running for the Presidency, but now wants us all to stay out of her life and his? That's what is called in my neck of the woods..'ch
She was an enabler, and frankly women that continue to hold the water for their philandering husband (or vice versa) teach their children the wrong things. Power does not come first. What comes first is Truth. In a marriage, in a person, and most importantly in a public official running for the highest office in the land.
I pray for her and her children, but there is no way she can be excused for her part and role in this charade.
some typos on my last post but I am really pissed with what appears to be a witch hunted agaist this family. This will add to their already strained situation.
Don't worry about the typos; I was only person who red your posty!
Part of the problem is whether or not to believe E. Edwards. She loves this man and would do anything for him. http://new
In fact I find it truly sad that Hillary and Bill Clinton will have speaking slots during demos convention but that John and Elizabeth Edwards will not be allowed to be there let alone speak time ! America is very immature nation. American cannot lead the world because the world has clearer, better sense of priorities that the United States. Kudos to the Edwards for sticking together in the face of media attacks against them.
You speak the truth. I would say, "America is an unsophisticated nation” and that we are bound together by too many old worn out ideas and invented beliefs.
Ironically, the Clinton's (of all people) will be keynote speakers!
Bill Clinton is a former President. The last Dem to hold the office. Hillary Clinton is, until Obama is actually voted so by the delegates, current a player in the democratic process at hand and a sitting senator. THAT is why they have "speaking slots".
John and Elizabeth Edwards are private citizens. The current situation has nothing to do with whether or not they have "speaking slots" at the convention.
Could it be that she is just madly in love with him and did what she could not to lose him?
And as to going with him on his campaign - it was to keep him from f***ing around on her again!
She is, however, I agree, complicit when it comes to the job that was run for.
Congratulation to Elizabeth Edwards to ignoring the rants from sex starved, sex obsessed, a nation that consumes more pornography than any other industrialized nation, peace hating, war loving nation’s demand that she breaks up her family because ,at a weak moment in his life, her husband had a short lived liaison with another woman!
I say leave this man and his family alone!
But we all know the damage that can be done by adulterous leaders, just think, what if instead of Mr. Bush this Nation had saddled itself with the likes of Mr. Washington or Jefferson?
What if we had been forced to endure the diplomatic philosophies of Benjiman Franklin in the runup to the Iraq war?
What if the press, and the people of that time had been as shallow and crass as we?
What would have happened if we had put Nixon rather than Kennedy in the White House during the Cuban Missle Crisis?
I do not endorse adultery, but if Bush had addressed his inferiority complex with a dalience of this nature, as opposed to the kidnapping, torture, and murder he chose, the world might be a better place.
Please Mr. Bush find a woman and leave the rest of us alone. Maybe an extra marital affair would give Laura and the world some relief. According to the Globe in the store this AM, Laura is moving out and away from him after he's out of office. She is buying a house in Dallas for herself. Maybe that's why he joked about her house buying a few weeks ago. ATTENTION ENQUIRER this is a HOT lead. GO GO GO. BTW R. Reagan got Nancy pregnant while married to another woman. Technically he brought his mistress to the White House.
Please provide a reference to your claim that America "consumes more pornography that any other industrialized nation."
Lots of "industrialized" American men working out of Kazakhstan . . . never in my jaded life did I imagine such eye-popping porn existed or was so freely shared among "industrialized" men in my Western community.
I could give you proof, but then I would have to put you in a video!
Where's the beef. Still no reference.
This iw what makes me DISGUSTED with everyone who weighs in from this point on....IT IS A PRIVATE MATTER BETWEEN A HUSBAND AND A WIFE!!!! How dare YOU who don't even KNOW Elisabeth Edwards say what she thought or felt....MA
It is RARELY about the act itself...a
It would have remained a private matter if this couple had chosen the honorable course and stayed in private life. Mrs. Edwards went from victim to co-conspirator in deciding to support John in another bid for political office - the presidency. They put OUR future in jeopardy with this selfish and naive decision. These are two savy lawyers who have already been through many political races. They displayed a lack of judgement in light of their experience that is stunning in its level of hypocrisy. How fortunate we are as a country that he was not successful. Thank you, Bonnie, for writing this piece. It needed to be said.
Quote: "This iw what makes me DISGUSTED with everyone who weighs in from this point on."
Yes, your rant was the rant to end all rants!
Please please stop your ranting . I would venture to say the most of us here all feel extremely sorry for the Edwards and their pain. But to pretend that a presidential candidate who was having an affair while running for the primary, or that his wife stood on podiums across the country, pretending he was a 'family values' guy, is just. plain.wron
Yes, it is terrible for them all. But that is the risk you take when you put the whole family into the picture. Elizabeth could have asked her husband to quietly withdraw from the presidential primary, or asked him to come forward with the truth before the Enquirer and the media had their field day. But she enabled him to be deceitful. And there is a price to pay. We will all continue to pray for her and her family and for him as well. But please stop pretending this doesn't matter. It does - as sad as it is.
Very good piece. Elizabeth Edwards looks about as bad as her husband right now.
Way to go. Beating up an a terminally ill woman with a cheatin' husband. Are you the mistress involved? I hear she thinks EE is a bitch who runied her film career when she made John take the Vids down.
Tell her Okie Girl!
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