Elizabeth Edwards Drank Her Husband's Kool-Aid And Became His "Ambition Enabler"

It's easy to understand why John Edwards first felt he was entitled to cheat on his wife and family, and then second, thought he could keep it secret from the American public. He is a self-admitted "narcissist", and narcissists believe they are entitled to whatever they want, whenever they want it. As psychologist Cooper Lawrence told me, "they always think some other poor schnook will get caught, not them."

The bigger question is "why did Elizabeth Edwards drink her husband's Kool-Aid? How could she have possibly believed that her husbands affair would remain a private matter when he was running for President of the United States? Hello, the National Enquirer had already broken the story last fall. Why in fact, did she knowingly encourage her spouse to even enter the campaign when she had been fully informed about the affair for over a year? And she helped support and propagate John Edwards' image as a devoted husband and family man.

She was so supportive that she even remained committed to his campaign after the discovery of her metastasized breast cancer. Despite the fact that she was facing a terminal illness, she was willing to take flack for her belief that John Edwards' presidential campaign was so important that not even her own health should stand in the way of its proceeding.

Elizabeth Edwards is now protesting in her own public statement that the public appetite to 'know" is the real culprit in the situation. The 'public' is being voyeuristic in her view and is getting in the way of her family's right to privacy.

Well, she may not want to admit it but Elizabeth is as guilty as her husband at this point, in inviting the public into her family's personal life. Once Bill Clinton's antics in the White House with Monica Lewinsky became Page One headlines for months, no presidential candidate or their family could ever realistically kid themselves, that marital fidelity would not be an issue in political life. If she had any questions about that last spring, she only had to make a call to Silda Spitzer.

No, Elizabeth Edwards had to be in some extraordinary form of denial and that's why she became her husband's "ambition enabler", when she supported his recent run for the presidency. My belief is that after almost thirty years of marriage she too had become so invested in his political ambitions, his cause, that she couldn't give up either, even after he cheated and she knew there was a chance his affair could be reported in the mainstream press.

"His success, now defined her success, so she was willing to go along with the fraud that that their marriage was fine," believes psychologist Victoria Zdrok, currently working on a book titled," Dr. Z on Straying."

Think about it. The Edwards met in law school; She still wears the $11 wedding ring he gave her. He became a successful trial lawyer and then a member of the Senate. She pursued a law career too but ultimately gave it up to support his career and take care of their family. As a couple they experienced the worst of tragedies, the death of their 16 year-old son, and then they made the decision to have two more children. It's easy to understand why Elizabeth Edwards would feel that her marriage was worth salvaging after her spouses' episode of infidelity. It's the presidential campaign that is far harder to understand.

That's why I believe that it's because Elizabeth had made such an enormous personal commitment to her role as her husband's helpmate and as a potential first lady and had made so many sacrifices over the years in the interests of realizing those goals, that she was willing to risk public exposure.

Her terminal illness may actually have also played a role in her decision to publicly stand by her man and his presidential ambitions, according to Zdrok. "When we seek death, we often seek to achieve a symbolic immortality. And becoming a presidential wife could have been that for her."

In any case, Elizabeth Edwards was a victim when her husband cheated. She did nothing to deserve that and as a wife she had every right and many reasons to forgive the jerk. But the decision to stand behind him and publicly broadcast his staunch family values image was her own doing. As courageous and admirable as she has been in dealing with her cancer, she is now the latest member of the Publicly Humiliated Wives Club, and she has no right to complain about the public's interest in knowing exactly what has happened. She helped get herself in this situation.

Follow Bonnie Fuller on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bonniefuller

Comments

[sybyll]

Elizabeth and John Edwards could have been responsible for giving this country Presidente McCain!
Their arrogance and entitlement is unforgivable. No it is not a private family thing when you get up there and lie when running form president. Thank god they will be gone now.

[notthistime]

nonsense. John McCain cheated on his disabled wife with multiple women before leaving her and marrying one of his mistresses. John uses profanity toward his wife, cheated on her, and at multiple times has publicly disrespected her.

Edwards did not give us McCain - the stupidity of voters would be responsible for giving us McCain.

[ApolloSpeaks]

On Jun 28, 2008 at 17:20:12 I posted on Huffington Post

"THE STAR OF CONSERVATISM

Lieberman's victory over anti-war candidate Ned Lamont in November 2006 was emblematic of Obama's coming defeat to John McCain on a day when the Star of Conservatism is powerful in the Heavens triumphing over [the Star] of Progressivism...... "


Edward's shocking admission of infidelity on 08-08-08 came 88 days away from Election Day on the second anniversary of Ned Lamont's primary win in Connecticut over John McCain's buddy Joe Lieberman, which ended in defeat for Lamont in the general election. As Edward's was on the losing ticket in the presidential elections of 2004 it looks like this scandel is an ominous sign that Obama is fated to be the black Ned Lamont in November.

Google ApolloSpeaks Townhall.com and read my piece The Black Ned Lamont

[ClevelandTom]

You actually believe the Edwards situation is going to have some kind of effect on the election? Dream on.

[ApolloSpeaks]

It was no dream that Lamont's defeat of Lieberman on 08-08-06 was emblematic of Republicans losing both houses of congress on Election Day due mostly to the Iraq War; and its no dream or accident that Edwards the now disgraced former senator and running mate of the defeated John Kerry admitted his sin on the second anniversary of Lamont's victory. The coinciding of Edward's public admission with Lamont's primary success foreshadows Obama's fortunes in the fall. Edward's disgrace will hardly effect the outcome of the election. Obama's failure in November will be mostly due to his flaws as a human being and shortcomings as a candidate for the presidency.

[bayside]

Interesting how hollywood media only cares about dems affair but not republicans corruption. Interesting..You would think they are being bribed or something.

[lewes17266]

the corrupt televangelists are important to he republican party
they tell their gullible followers how to vote
it does not matter that they are frauds and thieves
it does not matter that pat and gordon robertson got caught in adulterous affairs and never confessed
they are too valuable as tools

[knighthowl]

Edwards' political career is over for the foreseeable future. They have every right to privacy from this time until he should ever attempt to reenter politics. This is true even if Elizabeth was complicit or not. They both should be left alone. She is correct - further interest at this point is voyeuristic.

[Yola]

Harsh! She is just a wife who like many other wives may have taken a vow that had something like "for better and for worse". Only 2 people are to be blamed, neither of which is Elizabeth Edwards.

[trudem2]

She supported, campaigned for, spoke up for, and otherwise pushed this adulterer on the American people as someone worthy of the presidency.

She is as bad if not WORSE than he is!

[notthistime]

trudem2 -- Nonsense. She forgave him. That is what forgiveness means whether it comes from a spouse, a friend or God.

[mm29464]

i think you may be missing the obvious. i don't think elizabeth knew about the affair until john was busted in the bevery hills hilton by the paparazzi and he had to tell her then. i think he lied and denied the affair to her, just as he did to everyone else. she had heard the rumors but chose to believe her husband which is what most of us would do. that does not mean that she sold her soul for ambiton, it means simply that she loves her husband. elizabeth strikes me as both very smart and down to earth, i can in no way imagine she would have been complicit with him in covering up his affair for the simple fact that it would obviously come out. she fudged on the timeline, i think, to give herself a little grace space to deal with the humilation and trauma of her husband's infidelity. i truly think she is traumatized by this. contrary to bill clinton, john edwards to the best of my knowledge does not have a reputation as a philanderer.

[drd1044]

I am going to post this even though it will probably never be posted and will mean my posts will never will be put up again. I have read many posts that have wondered why Huffington Post has been so obsessed with the Edwards story. Think about it. A good looking, accomplished woman works her heart off trying to elect a man to higher office who turns out to have lied to her about his sexual behavior. He seems not to care what effect it has on their children,

[Harod]

John Edwards is obvioulsy being targeted by the media and the right wing i think Obama should name him as his vp!!

[limoniuim]

Not to be cynical, but maybe Edwards did not tell his wife about the affair when he said he did....he's not all that truthful and made the point he told her when she was in remission, but what it it wasn't until later?

[mm29464]

i agree with you and i found his comment about her being in remission as completely unneccessary and just the the kind of thing someone does who is lying--making the story too complicated. also the comment is a way to try to make himself --unsuccessfully, i might i add--look better. so sad.

[SugarMan]

News Flash...
John Edwards did not win the Democratic primary.
Every body needs to shut up and let the Edwards deal with this.
What the heck can we do about it. It aint us. Mind our own business.
I don't care whose in the White House.... I'm worried about whose in my house... my mortgage is due!

[66rock]

News Flash ---some of us that are paying our mortgages sent money to that man while he was covering up so we have a right to complain

[gwhizz]

No, not really.

[DaOne]

Typical main stream media. They don't want to dwell on issues, they want to beat their chests professing to hold the moral high ground and sell some ad space while they are at it. Here's hoping they will never have to go through what the Edwards family is going through.

[wolfgangmo]

Here's hoping they all have to go through what the Edward's have to go through and worse.

[Leota2]

Thank you!

[Harod]

John Edwards is obvioulsy being targeted by the media and the right wing i think Obama should name him as his vp!!

[astheworldturns]

get lost

[starkweather444]

Yeah its all the media's fault! They made him cheat on his wife, they made him lie, they made him tell the American people that these were "tabloid lies". They made him run for president even though any intelligent person would know that the MSM would eventually put this story together and he would be ruined. Edwards ego trip nearly cost the Dems the white house and his wife was an enabler who allowed him to run even though it was a matter of time before this ruined him and his white house chances. Elizabeth Edwards was out there on the stump trying to get him the nomination all the while knowing that this would come out at some point. They both need to get lost.

[bluegreen]

If you haven't faced terminal illness, you can hardly imagine what that feels like. I'm not trying to be preachy, I'm just saying...

Wanting the people you have loved for many years to be around you is a normal reaction. You want comfort and you want the image of the life you have had to stay the same. You may not want to have the particular loneliness that comes with illness compounded still further by a painful divorce. And if you have children, all those feelings are multiplied. You do not want to expand your childrens' sorrows. You want to reach into a future where you do not exist and shelter them still. And even if divorce is the better, the cleaner solution, you may not be up to it, you may just be too tired to think about it. When you are in that sort of situation, it is surprising what you can be talked into by a husband who is well used to your support.

I don't know these people, but it seems to me that a John Edwards type of guy, if he's as narcissistic as he appears, could easily manipulate two women who love him into acting against their better interests for his sake: Mrs. Edwards by not pulling the plug on the show when he wanted to run, and the lady with the made-up name for refusing (surprise, surprise) to have a paternity test run on her legally fatherless child.

[Yola]

He is a man; men are born with the manipulation gene. He is but another man who went with his basic nature and that is to cheat. The only sad thing for Edwards is that he got caught. Most men at sometime in their lives have cheated; when you find a great guy who stays true to his partner that, unfortunately, is an exception to the rule.

[trudem2]

Here here, Yola. That's keeping it real!

[wolfgangmo]

Stereotype much?

Yes, sure. Women are the morally more evolved creatures. Yup. Sure they are.

Does saying it make you feel better about yourself.

[dct1999]

Yola,

You seem to forget that they are cheating with other WOMEN.

[schmuckwithearlaps]

In Maureen Dowd's column about this affair, she refers to Edwards as the Breck Girl. She must know that name has been used by Rush L. to smear Edwards for years. Interesting how everyone is a right wing wacko when a liberal pulls down his zipper.

[Artisbey]

Since I grew up on a Southern cotton-mill village, I became interested in John Edwards after hearing his heartfelt story of how he, too, grew up on a mill-village, the son of struggling textile workers.

Then I learned that his father was the mill manager and his mother worked at the Post Office.

A mill manager is in no ways a "struggling" mill hand, and, in many small towns, a post office job is as good as it gets.

I haven't believed anything else John Edwards has to say. I don't know why anyone would.

I wonder how much he paid his babymama to refuse a paternity test?

[pilotinfla]

One of Edward's friends is paying her $15,000 per month. I'm assuming that fee includes silence and making no waves for Edwards.

[Bluebloodsbastardson]

how is not letting an affair break up a marriage anything BUT strong family values?

[Artisbey]

What family are we talking about? The Clintons?

[wolfgangmo]

No, the Craigs.

[trudem2]

Hold on....let's be clear......

With the Clinton affair Hillary was the devil, the enabler, and the facilitator who can't be trusted.

Let's not let consistency get in the way....

.