Suri, Shiloh, Violet and Lourdes — Why Celeb Kids Really Are More Special Than Our Kids!

I can tell you absolutely and definitively that star kids are not just like our kids.

This is what our kids do: They holler bloody murder in small, confined spaces like airplanes. I know because I've been there. Just this week I took a five-hour flight with a couple of my kids, thanking the heavens that they were finally past that screaming baby stage.

Well, my kids may have been past it but this angelic little red-head nine-month old in the back row wasn't. He was angelic-looking for five minutes while he slept as the plane took off. Then, once we were airborne, he let loose. And he didn't let up until we had touched down. His exhausted mother who tried everything looked like she was going to commit hari kari by the time we landed.

Now, have you ever seen a celebrity mother look anything less than totally blissful when she's been out with her kids (Britney Spears excluded)? Furthermore, have you ever seen a celebrity infant, toddler or kid of any age having a public tantrum? You would know if it happened.

If dedicated paparazzi can capture Jennifer Garner squeezing melons in a supermarket, there's no way they would miss it if little Violet had a meltdown in FAO Schwarz.

Apparently Suri Cruise, despite being raised as a Scientologist on boiled barley juice and wearing $200 Burberry outfits, seems to be completely normal according to sources at Star magazine. Suri "gets anything and everything she wants, she never hears the word 'no,'" an insider reveals to Star.

Supposedly Scientologists don't believe in real discipline for their children, yet an insider tells the magazine that Suri is still "extremely well behaved." Now what would happen if we didn't discipline our kids? It's too scary to even comprehend. I feel like I never stop disciplining mine — time outs, no treats, go to your room, etc. — and yet my 7-year-old son still can't stop talking about "farting" when we attempt to take him out to a decent restaurant. All the shushing we do just makes him switch to burping.

Does Maddox do that? Brad and Ang tote him and his three siblings around the world — on private planes mind you, with at least three, maybe four full-time nannies.

Nevertheless, Mad seems to be able to adapt effortlessly to three French lycee schools in Prague, New Orleans and New York City, all within the space of one year. Any parent that has had to detach a crazy glued child from their leg when they had to deliver them to just one school, knows that that is just not normal.

There must be some secret Hollywood fairy dust that only celebrities can buy at the Fred Segal boutique that makes their kids red-carpet ready at birth. Maybe they get the special code to buy it because they have the luxury of scheduling just one project a year like Reese Witherspoon, who finds kids are great because they help her only do work she's "inspired' by since she'd rather be with Ava and Deacon.

Yes, we can relate. If we made $12 million a movie we'd definitely only do work we wore inspired by, too.

And then our kids would also not say "butt" every other word, could have their own stylists like Madonna's daughter Lourdes, and would also have a chance to be Miss Golden Globe, like Rumer Willis (if only the writer's strike didn't blow their chances).

Well at least one of my children has something in common with an A-list cover kid. Apparently Suri doesn't go to bed until 11 p.m. Well it's 9:53 and counting and my 7-year-old is still bouncing off the walls. How I see it now, he's not mission impossible, he was just meant for Hollywood.

For more celebrities, gossip, news, and photos, visit StarMagazine.com.

Comments

[bronxite1957]

Suri may be nothing like my kids, but isn't it sad that she will grow up thinking it is completely normal to have cameras shoved in her face every time she steps outside? She may be well behaved now, but unfortunately that pressure will continue to build.

[bnewbs]

With more and more celebrities having children, it only makes me wonder if we are at risk of having more Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans in the next 20 years....

[PaceSetter]

I've a friend that teaches at Crossrods school and has had to deal with some of these star kids. They don't get disciplined at school either, or if they do, the kid calls Mommy or Daddy and complains and then the teacher gets the boot.

Kid gloves all the way. And then you wonder why Paris doesn't believe she needs a license to drive.

They're not like you or me, and certainly not like our kids. But then would you really want your kids to be like that?

[arcangelica]

just wait until they're older. spoild children lead to spoiled adults with drug & alcohol problems and personality disorders. consider yourselves lucky that you or your children are not famous. 200 dollar burberry clothes today....200 dollar an hour shrinks tomorrow....

[django707]

We don't really get to see what kind of hideous spoiled monsters our royal stars are in real life - why should we have knowledge of their demonic children?

[Notapathetic]

If you don't get to see their lives, how the hell do you know so much about them?

I can't see your life either.....but I can imagine....yuk!

[django707]

uh, I believe she was going for levity

[LoRiseAntlers]

Let's see-Cruise's kids are being brainwashed by a dangerous cult,Angelina loves her natural child less than she does her adopted ones,and all of these idiots pimp their babies out as money making opportunities(who wants to buy pix of MY baby?),and I won't even start on Britney.

I think the point you've made is most celebrities are a bunch of idiots who really shouldn't be allowed to be near children,let alone attempt to raise them.

[kjacobsmeyer]

With all due respect, Ms. Fuller, I agree that celebrity children are different from the rest of us, but I take issue with the "more special" that the title of your blog purports. Do you really believe that, or are you just titling the post in a purposeful controversial way to encourage people to read it?

I realize you are approaching the subject matter with humor and believe me, I laugh with you, but children of celebrities are a mere curiosity and should by no means be a bar of excellence for society's childrearing. It's sad when the rest of us try to make our children or ourselves live up to the lifestyle celebrities advertise. Every child is special...to their own parents. When a parent has unlimited funds to shower on their kids, that's nice for them and completely irrelevant to the rest of us. It's no mystery that if I had money to globetrot with my kid, dress him in Burberry and organize his life so no one ever said "no" to him that he'd be well-behaved. No mystery at all.

[tinec02]

I can't believe that Scientology doesn't believe in discipline. Apparently TomKat don't believe in saying no to Suri, but how can a child be so well-behaved if a parent never draws the line? Sure, no TV may be a good idea in theory- but no real parent has the time or the patience to stick to that. Then again, if they had a handful of nannies, a chef, and personal assistants, maybe that would be feasible!